Competition - Warhammer in 10 Words - The Results Are In!! - See OP

[MooFreaky]

Greetings Gamers!

I have left the rules in SPOILER tags so that if anyone reads this in the future they know what was going on.

Competition Rules & Information
Greetings.

For any Penny Arcade people here you will know exactly where I am taking this idea from.




Write a 10 word story (no more, no less). It can be based on any aspect of the hobby (gaming, fluff, modelling, whatever).


Use the EXACT format I use in the examples (including using QUOTE tags) as it makes it FAR easier to pick out the entries from the other chit chat.


HAVE FUN






A few guidelines:

- Don't spam entries. Please put some thought into them and give it some meaning. If you post a whole bunch of crap but get one good entry you will be marked down in the end.

However, if you 20 clearly well thought out entries I will not give any form of penalty when making my decision.

- No spam in general. Post of "AHAHAHA" or "awesome LOLZ" are not on. Yes comment on people's entries, but please give some more substance than that. Fun threads do not mean forum rules don't apply.

- Keep it clean. Sure have a few laughs, but don't get too dirty. If you are told something is too far, listen and learn.

- No jokes against other forum members UNLESS you expressly ask their permission AND it is well thought out AND relavent.

- THINK BEFORE YOU POST.
Did someone make a funny but somewhat dirty joke? Think you can beat it with a funnier, dirty joke? Then stop! That just leads to locked threads and ruining it for everyone.




Close Date : Monday October 20, 2008. So that is basically 2 and a half weeks.


Note: I have run a variety of competitions (this one being a very different style, and requiring virtually zero work for me) but the same concepts apply.

This is to have fun. Thus don't spoil it for others. This is to let people (including the Mods if they so choose) to let their heair down and have a few laughs, see some cool ideas and crown someone "Lord of the (very) short story".

Thus, it is a self regulated thread. We always try and keep Moderator requirements to a minimum (because these things can grow rather fast and it can be a bitch to maintain AND so they don't have to wear their moderator hats so much).
Thus think before you post.

What I say goes. No arguments, no exceptions. I won't intefere or flex power unless there is a need to keep things in control. Easier for me to do than anyone else.
By extension that means Dooks speaks with the same authority (anyone who has been in any competion/challenge of mine knows this). He is free to help with crowd control and if he says to do something please do it.



Examples:

MooFreaky Entry 1

The dawn sun rises over bloody fields... Another Marine victory.


MooFreaky Entry 2

Brother pitted against Brother. Father against Son. The Horus Heresey.


MooFreaky Entry 3

Tedious paint schemes made me stab out my neighbour's eyes!


MooFreaky Entry 4

Dice rolling and miniatures for hours on end? Bloody nerds!


Determining a Winner
I have determined a shortlist of what, IMO, best sum up 40k and, overall, the ones I enjoyed the most.

I have asked several others to cast votes in a 5,4,3,2,1 system. The winner being the person with the most votes.
I won't post the who the judges are as, frankly, I love a bit of mystery. They can feel free to say who they are and who they voted for if they wish, but that is their choice.


Honourable Mentions
There are the posts I really liked, but for one reason or another didn't reach the final shortlist but that I felt deserved a mention. They are very funny, though just didn't capture what I was looking for specifically.

BLUE_ICE8822
Smelly, Sweaty guys circling a table, and its not porno!

Turbo164
Perhaps I should sacrifice another orphan to the dice gods...

Moleytov 5
After turn one, the tactica is thrown out the window

Tinweasel
"Boss!? Wot's dis button 'ere?"
*Flaming debris scatters everywhere*
(was one of the final 10 until I realised it only had 9 words...
Wot's just can't count as 'wot is'. I really thought about it, but in the end allowing hyphons to be one word means apostrophes have to too...


Special Mention
This was definately one of my favourites, but I had to cut it as it was not actually his own. Fair's fair.

Dooks Dizzo (Shamelessly plagurized)
For sale: Used Lasgun. Never fired. Some blood stains. Cheap.


Final Shortlist
In no particular order the following are your final 10.

Doohicky
Some beer, Some friends, 4 hours of love and hate

Fixer
Five hours converting. Ten Hours painting. Won't balance on terrain.

Xenith
You will worship the Emperor, or you will die, heretic!

Flonky
After so long, Chaos has not toppled the Imperium - n00bs.

FerociousBeast
Servitors patrol the decaying hive, deserted for a thousand years.

FerociousBeast
Xenos, daemons, heretics, and traitors fight over the Imperium's corpse.

Moleytov
Bloody Hell! Just how many dice are you rolling???

Ignius Divinii
His Death, Brings Life. His Life, Brings Death. The Emperor.

Gorb
Ultramarines . . . how did a Chapter so widely promoted suck so much?

Xenith
The great eye belches forth dark corruption to assail humanity




RESULTS



The results are in... every entry received votes from multiple Judges, so it was, in no way, completely one sided.

That said, our otp 3 were clearly ahead. With the eventual winner eventually taking the victory by a comfortable margin. I won't post the overall votes, just the positions.


NOTICE: Please use SPOILER tags when commenting on the results, purely so others don't see it before counting down (if they choose to do so - which is something I would do if I wasn't the host. Therefore, clearly, everyone else does...)



Gorb
Ultramarines . . . how did a Chapter so widely promoted suck so much?

Moleytov
Bloody Hell! Just how many dice are you rolling???

8th - Xenith
You will worship the Emperor, or you will die, heretic!

7th - FerociousBeast
Xenos, daemons, heretics, and traitors fight over the Imperium's corpse.

6th - Xenith
The great eye belches forth dark corruption to assail humanity

5th - Ignius Divinii
His Death, Brings Life. His Life, Brings Death. The Emperor.

4th - Flonky
After so long, Chaos has not toppled the Imperium - n00bs.

3rd - Doohicky
Some beer, Some friends, 4 hours of love and hate

2nd - FerociousBeast
Servitors patrol the decaying hive, deserted for a thousand years.

1st - Fixer
Five hours converting. Ten Hours painting. Won't balance on terrain.

[Dark Watcher]

Dark Watcher Entry 1

In the dim and distant future, there is only war.


First entrant?

[BLUE_ICE8822]

BLUE_ICE8822 Entry 1

Smelly, Sweaty guys circling a table, and its not porno!

Have I just lowered the tone?!

[AHH! MOTHERLAND]

AHH! MOTHERLAND Entry 1

Epic battles between Chaos and Imperium, but then comes.... DOOMRIDER!!!



Somehow by saying doomrider I feel very old.

[Hammerguard]

I DON'T care what Einstein says, it's in a codex

or

It's my coke can, and if I say it's a ...

[FerociousBeast]

Dos mas.FerociousBeast Entry 1

The ground shakes, flames leap, the Imperator roars its triumph.
FerociousBeast Entry 2

In the wilderness, a mushroom splits apart. A baby ork!

[Doohicky]

Doohicky Entry 1

Some beer, Some friends, 4 hours of love and hate

Doohicky Entry 2

That's a great paint job, let me see. Ooops Sorry

Hmmmm... I think I can do better than that...

[Turbo164]

Turbo164 #1

Perhaps I should sacrifice another orphan to the dice gods...

Turbo164 #2

My knees shake, but from fear, an earthquake, or...RAVENER!!!

and the obligatory...

Turbo164 #3

MAIM KILL BURN! MAIM KILL BURN! MAIM KILL BURN! MWUHAHAHA!!!

[Xenith]

Teehee, I didnt enter the PA version, but will do this one!

Xenith entry 1
Fire dragons always miss, why do I still take them?

Xenith entry 2
A woman walks into games workshop. She's greeted with stares.

Xenith entry 3
By the power of the immortal Emperor, I declare Exterminatus

Xenith entry 4
Warhammer 40,000 sixth edition released. Still no Dark Eldar Codex.

Xenith entry 5
"Death to the false emperor? Chaos need a new catchphrase!

Xenith entry 6
You will worship the Emperor, or you will die, heretic!

Haha, will think of more!

[BrianGeneral]

The Invincible BG time #1

Hey, listen pal. May the Dice God betrays you. Always.
The Invincible BG time #2

"Oh, for the Emperor's sake, can't THAT Abaddon just die!?"
The Invincible BG time #3

"OH ****! THAT MANTA IS HERE TO DESTROY US!" *Dies*
The Invincible BG time #4

Tyranids are working for the Greater Good: The Consuming Good.

Well, I lack some sense of humor.

[Avatar 720]

Here's 2, just a small contribution, will think of more when I have time.

Is this madness? No! This is an all out slaughter!

As war is waged, all that is left, is bodies.

[FerociousBeast]

Tres.FerociousBeast Entry 3

Servitors patrol the decaying hive, deserted for a thousand years.

[Xenith]

BG, youre first two are only 9 words long, I liked the dice one!

[BrianGeneral]

I didn't see that "no more, no less" line. If not, the "Blessing" part will be suffice.

Nice to hear it's nice though.

[FerociousBeast]

Quatro
FerociousBeast Entry 4

Xenos, daemons, heretics, and traitors fight over the Imperium's corpse.

[Lancer]

Somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but they sum up both the background and the game quite nicely.

Warhammer 40k: Where "GRIMDARK" meets "the rule of cool."

Chainsaw-swords are just the beginning. Welcome to Warhammer.

[BrianGeneral]

Why can't we just post quote-only posts? Stupid system.
The Invincible BG time #5

The Imperium is a disease. We, Chaos, are the cure.
The Invincible BG time #6

Attracting mass firepower isn't Terminators' worst nightmare. Snake Eyes are.

[sang]

entry 1 sang
"blood death pain gore genocide love.... wait last one again"

well best i can do

[blaesa]

GW can't balance rules. They're really quite horrid. Why play?

[moleytov]

Eldar. Space elves are unpoplar for one reason: Invincible Falcons.

[Rusty Nail]

A Rusty entry #1
Pockets are empty; painting ruins sight, but damn, it's worth it

Might think of others later

[Tinweasel]

Tinweasel Entry 1

"Oi, Boss!? Wot's dis button 'ere?"

*Flaming debris scatters everywhere*
Tinweasel Entry 2

"Worst thing about power armor..."

"Yeah?"

"...Nurgling-infested jock itch!"
Tinweasel Entry 3

"If that halfwit Servitor farts once more, so help me..."
Tinweasel Entry 4

"Think this is bad? My Chapter planet faced Exterminatus twice!
Say, this is pretty entertaining once you get into it...

[Rusty Nail]

A Rusty entry #2
Forgiveness please!
I cannot paint the faces;
Joy! Helmet replacements!
10 words and a hiaku to boot!

A Rusty entry #3 & #4
Little things,
With wheels,
And wings,
from heels,
they break.

Iyanden settles,
Wraith guard,
Although metal,
Arn't hard,
With pliers.

[n0z3k1ll3r]

n0z3k1ll3r entry #1
God damn it. I rolled a misfire. Stupid warpfire throwers.

[Eldanesh]

First attempt:

Eldanesh entry no.1
Statistically, that unit will die in this assault.....(later)......bugger.

[Jianaran]

Jianaran entry
DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA
I think I just exhausted today's wittyness quota...

[World Eater]

My reflection on the Dark Angels.
"We will never forget, we will never forgive. The Unforgiven."

And a saying I feel hits close to home.
"Blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne!"

[MooFreaky]

Warhammer 40,000 sixth edition released. Still no Dark Eldar Codex.
Get out of my thread! Seriously, you're banned!
That's not even funny! That's offensive and rude and made me sit up all night crying in my pillow.
BANNED!


Other than that... awesome work so far. Some excellent ones... and some really bad ones about Dark Eldar not getting a codex...

It's good fun to read. More than one have been hilarious. More than one have been wonderfully fluffy/scene setting even in 10 words.


Those 10 words can be a bitch too. Sometimes you are just a word off and can't quite phrase it better.

Feel free to comment on each other.

I won't give too much away but there are definately a few shortlisted out there. And at least one very disturbing one...

EDIT: @ Xenith. It's all good I'm only being completely serious. Don't you dare post here again!!


DOUBLE EDIT: I'm actually kidding, just in case anyone took me too seriously

[Rusty Nail]

Those 10 words can be a bitch too. Sometimes you are just a word off and can't quite phrase it better.
Tell me about it.
I've scraped about 5 because they were 11 words.

By the way, how is this getting judged?

[Akagi_Ryu]

How the Judge System works, nobody really knows for sure...

How about this? :P

[MooFreaky]

By the way, how is this getting judged?
Right now I will go... ooohh I like that one and that one.

However, I also plan to ask a few willing participants to cast a vote or two.

I may even collect a shortlist and then put them up for votes or somesuch.

I may end up doing a Best Overall, Best Humour, Best Fluff, etc etc
But we will see how things go and based on the type of entries and comments being made I will make decisions then.

[Fixer]

What the hell. I'll give it a try :)

Anything but a one I said. The dice have ears.

Five hours converting. Ten Hours painting. Won't balance on terrain.

If it's stupid and impractical but looks cool, it's Warhammer.

[Sir Plasma]

We spend three hours pushing plastic. look- some have boobs!

[Flonky]

My attempt the first.
Shake, rattle and roll. Gah, blast! Not more snake eyes!
They shoot...hit! But lasguns can only do so much...

[Akranadas]

Mine

How much money are you willing to spend?

[Flonky]

Akranadas your entries are meant to be 10 words in length. No more, no less. ;)

Moar!
You have entered GW. Surrender all your money at once!
Warhammer is like a computer game - but on a table.
The marine aimed and shot. The human exploded. The end.

[radical ed]

Its like being 8 again, but with dice and statistics.

[BLUE_ICE8822]

BLUE_ICE8822 entry 2

A universe where Librarians, Khorne, and Nobz are Hard … 40K

Sorry, I keep on being rude...

BLUE_ICE8822 entry 3

Finally, the female Ork and Dwarf questions have been answered

They were all wiped out in a writing campaign...

[Flonky]

And yet another...
After so long, Chaos has not toppled the Imperium - n00bs.

[Akagi_Ryu]

One from my gf:

The Chaos Empire shall not fall for Marines battle there

[BrianGeneral]

Yet again.
The Invincible BG time #7

Impossible is nothing......when you write up a Marine story.

[BLUE_ICE8822]

BLUE_ICE8822 Entry 4

Asmodai desperately goads another Rosarius…Repent Now Parrot….Say it!!

Quack Quack!!

[Flonky]

The most important decision a Guardsman makes - paper or plastic?

Ha. Ha.

[Fixer]

Fixer attempt #4
She's completely perfect and immune to failure. Shadowsun: Warhammer's Mary-Sue

It counts as a single word if it's hyphonated :)

[moleytov]

moleytov #2:
"Run, run - as fast as you can, you can't *hurrrrrggg...*"
the gingerbread man obviously never met tyranids....

[sang]

Sang entry 2
This line join imperial guard yes this line be killed

Sorry had to do bad grammar to get it in 10 words

[Akagi_Ryu]

Orks and Tau live in peace... joke of the day

^_^

[Rusty Nail]

<insert witty comment here>

A Rusty entry #5
In-game or on-line, much fun's had. I love you guys!
A shout out to the great community surrounding the game.
Remember, hyphenated words are counted as a single word ;)

[Mokona]

I've had this happen to me a couple of times:



Vehicle difficult terrain roll on turn one: "Oh, look! Immobilized!" :P

[Rusty Nail]

A Rusty entry #6
Good bye vortex and hallucinogenic grenades. Wait, we run now?
Quoted from my friend after not playing since the start of 2nd ed.

[Flonky]

...and another...
Ork aims, shoots, misses, grunts, raises cleaver and charges. Waaaaaarrrgh!

[moleytov]

Moleytov #3:Bloody hell! Just how many attack dice are you rolling???
I do NOT like tyranids. (actual quote)

[Robert Frazer]

Here are a few that I will contribute:


-------------------
-------------------

The baroque ostentation of the Dark Millenium suits this adaptation of the classic declaration of Universal Horror movies:

Robert Frazer - entry No. 1

"A toast! To a brave world of gods and monsters!"

A play on the "eat, drink and be merry..." saying, illustrating the different mood of the Imperium.

Robert Frazer - entry No. 2

"Fast, continence, and be solemn, for tomorrow we may die"

Chaos entrances and befuddles with its awesome appeal, and it is because of its bearing of dreadful destruction with a captivating carriage:

Robert Frazer - entry No. 3

"Chaotic contrariness: perilous poise, grim grace, savage splendour, macabre majesty"

Many in the Imperium live faceless, uncared and uncaring lives. In the Emperor's armies, though, their families who might have otherwise only have raised some dreg worthy for only crime or destitution can take some solace in the belief that something greater issued from them and was elevated above the filth of home - and maybe, one day, those soldiers will raise a banner of victory, and those families genuinely will have.

Robert Frazer - entry No. 4

"Marching around the corner, beyond the horizon - over the top."

[Ignius Divinii]

Ignius Divinii Entry 1:
His Death, Brings Life. His Life, Brings Death. The Emperor.

Ignius Divinii Entry 2:
Blood, Guts, Death, Decay, and Despair. The Dark Gods Revel.

Ignius Divinii Entry3:
Children play. Men Toil. Women gossip. Heresy Lurks Within Always.

Ignius Divinii Entry 4:
Ages pass. The Plan Forms Slowly. We Will Rule Again.

Ignius Divinii Entry 5:
Cold Iron Sacophogus, A Hero Lies Inside. Sleeping Until Battle.

Ignius Divinii Entry 6:
The Magazine Clicks Dry. The Bolter Falls Silent. Death Comes.

Ignius Divinii Entry 7:
Trenches Red With Blood. Death Comes From Commisor, Or GreenSkins?

Ignius Divinii Entry 8:
He screams False Penance. The Excruciator shall find the truth.

Ignius Divinii Entry 9:
The gun Overheats in his hand. His Death A Star.

Ignius Divinii Entry 10:
Red's the fastest. See it pouring from The Hummies neck?

Ok.. Hope thats not to many.. Started with one. then really got going..

[Dancinbeaver]

OK, I've been lurking here for awhile now but this looks like too much fun to pass up so as my introduction I'll give it a go. Bit of an Eldar theme on this lot.

Dancinbeaver entry #1

Cities of light in endless night. Dying race, endless fight.
Dancinbeaver entry #2

D-cannon shot. The guess is right. Carnifex tastes the warp!
Dancinbeaver ewntry #3

They say the rolls even out. Yeah right. Probability stinks.
Dancinbeaver entry #4

The woods are dark. What’s that sound? Mandiblasters ignite fright.
Dancinbeaver entry #4

War calls! Blood sings! The warrior path traps my feet.
Dancinbeaver entry #5

When Khaine bestrides the field, the Eldar know no fear!

Dancinbeaver entry #6

Bladestorm! The killing wind reaps the field of battle clean.

Dancinbeaver entry #7

Wraithlord. Deep in dreams, hear the call. Return to serve.

Dancinbeaver entry#8

Dance of Death! Fear the kiss of the Laughing God.

[sang]

sang entry 3
Orks bit grouchy chaos bit angry Imperial guard really helpless
:cool:

[moleytov]

Moleytov #4:Imperium torn by xenos gunfire. Mankind fights endlessly for dominance

[Shoota Fodder]

w00t, I finally got around to this.

A few made up in about 5 minutes. I will come up with better ones later I hope :p.


Shoota Fodder's Entry #1

Perpetual night, in cities we fight, Xenos we shall smite.


Shoota Fodder's Entry #2

Upon the grass, in land of ash, Guardsmen lie still.


Shoota Fodder's Entry #3

40k poems, are very hard to write. Or are they?

[BrianGeneral]

The Invincible BG time #8

Facing 280 Guardsmen in a 1.5Kpts Tourney? I give up.
No joke. I heard from a friend who'll join the local tourney next Sunday (I'll be joining too) will put forth such a force. Even for KP missions he managed to beat Bugs by 9:5 by downing 3 Carnifex and 2 HT.
So any ideas of beating that?

[Avatar 720]

In the 41st millenium, there are only... Murph Burgers! :murph:

The emote counts a word since you need to type a word first to make the emote appear :)

[Dooks Dizzo]

Dooks Dizzo's shamelessly plagurized entry #1:
For sale: Used Lasgun. Never fired. Some blood stains. Cheap.

Sorry for the theft, just too good to let it go by.

[sang]

sang entry 4
"tau ever wonder why we fight" "no" "nore do i"

A space marine asking a tau in a battal.

[Flonky]

Yet another!
Cadians, always one step forward, but still just puny Guardsmen...

[Brother Wolf]

I am chaos incarnate, I wear the X of castigationI can't really take credit for that. I just paraphrased Genitorturers.

[Xenith]

Sorry Moo, had to be done :P hope I didnt upset you too much!

Xenith entry 7 The great eye belches forth dark corruption to assail humanity

Xenith entry 8 Humanity struggles to survive in a universe of unseen horrors

[Gorb]

Terminator Armour . . . where you're always guaranteed to roll a 1.Ultramarines . . . how did a Chapter so widely promoted suck so much?Only the stars are testament to the sacrifice made . . . Will still be thinking up more of these as this weekend drifts onwards.

[chook]

Since grots don't have it bad enough already :P

One small step for gretchin, one cleared minefield for ork-kind.

[Fixer]

One last quote for great justice :)
Tau Empire's attempt to integrate the Orks.

Send more water caste diplomats. The last batch is dead.

[Packy]

Warhammer in 10 words? 7 too many! MAIM KILL BURN!!!

Hidden threat, Complacent human. Shadowed killer, Oblivous fool. Sure death.

Yeah, needs work...

[Flonky]

Meh, some more for ya!
Once upon a time, the Emperor conquered a mighty empire...
...and that is why we worship a corpse. The End.

[Master_Rahl22]

Here are my first tries.

Dull metal bodies move forward implacably. All shall be harvested.

Eons-old warriors shimmer into existence. Cold intelligence directs the slaughter.

We need more dakka, boyz! Dese Humies aint dat 'ard!

[Gorb]

And some more

Squats. Eaten by the all-consuming Tyranids. Why so serious?!The power of Chaos cannot be denied. For the slaughter!

[Uncle Jimbo]

Army Men Dice Ruler Paints Lots Of Money No Sex

[Packy]

Flee, Brothers! The Dice Gods are trying to kill us!

Third time lucky?

[Rusty Nail]

A Rusty entry #7
Warp Spider's jump.
The ultimate prize:
Banshee's changing room.
Withdraw!

[Dauntless]

The Guardsman picks up the hellgun, "For The God Emperor!"

The BaneBlade roars out, none of the Xenos will survive

as you see im pro guard

[iaguz]

Iaguz entry 1.

Vikings in space, worshipping the God of Blood. FUCKING METAL!



Referring to my Chaos Space Wolf army.

and number 2

Beards and Bolters, Chainaxes and Carnage. Praise Russ and Khorne!


Noticing a theme?

Number 3

"It is as though a thousand mouths cry out in pain!."

Ok, from DoW. Not fair.

Number 4

"Jesus Conrad, tie your fucken laces"

Wait a minute...

[sang]

sang entry5
i just went into games workshop for advice not baneblade

sang entry6
Five imperial guard kill five terminators only in 40k table

Both of those happend to me to day. no joke

[MooFreaky]

I have decided that the extra week I planned is completely un-necessary. The rate of entries coming in has slowed considerably, thus there is little need to keep it going.
As it was the first time I'd doen this type of thing it was just a guess as to how long would be needed.


Therefore, from the time of this post, you have 24 hours to make any final additions you would like to make.


Thanks guys!

[Rusty Nail]

A final Rusty entry
Six hours for that Tactica! Should've been playing Warhammer instead!

[moleytov]

You've inspired me...

Moleytov 5:
After turn one, the tactica is thrown out the window

[sang]

sangs last go
How can it get worse an inquisitor looked at me

what do i get if i win ;)

[Flonky]

Moar!
Battle plans rarely survive first contact with the approaching enemy.

[Gorb]

Two last entries from me:

Lasguns . . . bring on the freem! Watch that platoon cook chicken!Planets burning, people dying . . . humans and aliens alike, dead.So long, and thanks for all the fish! Hope to see more threads like this in the future, and more people responding to them!

[Supermarine]

Good looking models,this is not playboy...THIS IS WARHAMMER!

[Flonky]

@Supermarine: Nice!

Horus fell, and the Emperor sat on a golden potty.

[BrianGeneral]

The Invincible BG time #9

Raider lists: First turn dashes, then spend five turns walking.
I finished the local tourney today and will post a battle report soon in these few days. And note, my first opponent is DARK ELDAR.

[Fixer]

In the grim future, violence solves everything. Yes, even that.

Attempt number 4. and why not :)

[Supermarine]

grown men,beer,no poledancers in sight...THIS IS WARHAMMER!

AND

foxy blond chicks with guns,THIS IS SISTERS OF BATTLE!

[Turbo164]

This has been fun, both reading and writing. My last batch:

Turbo164 #4
Feel the wrath of the Emperor, heretic! ... Crap, a 1.

Turbo164 #5
Said the Haemonoculus: "My toy broke, may I have another?"

Turbo164 #6
"And dat's how de lil Grot went kasplot. Gnight young'ns!"

Turbo164 #7
His final breath:
"For the Emperor!"
His final shot:
Bullseye.

[Rusty Nail]

Another Rusty entry
As a final farewell, live long and prosper.... wait, crap!

[Avatar 720]

Here's my last:

The lasgun. Also known as the standard Imperial side-arm flashlight!

[Targaryen]

A Chapter Master and ten Honour Guard hey? Well crap.

Actually faced this in a 3000 point battle today, it killed 800 points of my nids. Fortunately the entire rest of his army killed around 200 points.

Edit-yesterday sorry, forgot about sleeping.

[Redpiano]

my pocket book is empty, where did my wife go?

..

[Jianaran]

ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS
Yep, my pool of wittiness dried up earlier today.

[Fixer]

and of course, anything past Avatar's last post is beyond the final date :)

So time to wait for the results!

[BrianGeneral]

Isn't there should be a poll about that?

[MooFreaky]

Dear All...
the competition is now closed.
All entries were in time as it was 10pm my time that was 24 hours.


I will post in the OP as to the finalists and how it will go from here.

Love Always
MooFreaky

[BrianGeneral]

Argh.
I don't even have one mentioned! Yeah, because i got no sense of humour.

[Turbo164]

Moleytov
Bloody Hell! Just how many dice are you rolling???

9 words.

Gorb
Ultramarines . . . how did a Chapter so widely promoted suck so much?

11 words.

Easy enough to fix, but probably should be before the final judgings.

Glad you liked the orphan :P

[Doohicky]

Wow, I'm in the final.. I have to say I am surprised...

[Ap0k]

You guys suck. I win by default. Bow before me.
No. Seriously.

[Xenith]

Woo! two in the final! No love for the Dark Eldar one?

[Dancinbeaver]

No love for the noob? Oh well, maybe next time.

[Rusty Nail]

If p0kky's one was in earlier I would have voted for that :/
And I see I didn't even make honorable mention. Well, I'll just go take my failing wit and poor exuse for comedy somewhere else then :spin:

Good luck all!

[moleytov]

Bloody Hell! Just how many dice are you rolling???


9 words.

...

Easy enough to fix, but probably should be before the final judgings.

Glad you liked the orphan :P

Good catch turbo, I did have an expletive in there I cut.

If MooFreaky wishes to disqualify the entry I perfectly understand, however can I offer a corrected:

Bloody Hell! Just how many dice are your tyranids rolling???

[cfoley]

Bloody Hell! Just how many fucking dice are you rolling???

Works better like this in my opinion.

[Tinweasel]

Tinweasel Entry 1
"Oi, Boss!? Wot's dis button 'ere?"
*Flaming debris scatters everywhere*
(was one of the final 10 until I realised it only had 9 words...
Wot's just can't count as 'wot is'. I really thought about it, but in the end allowing hyphens to be one word means apostrophes have to too...Hrm, wish I'd known/seen there was a ruling on this. Easily fixed, though. (see above)

I'd agree that hyphenated words are one word and I could see possessional apostrophes as counting as one word (i.e. Moofreaky's contest) but I personally would say that contractions are still technically two words, i.e. it's being a simplified version of it is. Unless the word is grammatically changed to a single-word form, like 'tis (which is technically "it is"), I'd imagine a contraction just being a multi-word phrase simplified for ease of speech.

I'm just quibbling, though, moreso than anything in that it would've been in the running had I known that contractions counted as a single word and adjusted the first sentence accordingly right from the get-go via an easily-placed "Oi" or something thrown in as an attention-getter.

[moleytov]

Bloody Hell! Just how many fucking dice are you rolling???


Works better like this in my opinion.
That is what it originally was. I then found there to be gratuitous fucking going on...

... and removed it. :|
If it is not overstepping the sensibilities of the forum then that is what it should truly be.

But whatever Moo decides is the right treatment for the entry - his competition, his rules.

[Dauntless]

Best of luck to all the finalists, heck, I hardly care that I didn't get in. It was great fun.

[MooFreaky]

The invalid entries I'm going to disqualify. Purely because I cut out Tinny's. I accept there may be sadness at this, but I put it down to teething issues in that this is the first one of these (or anything similar, to my knowledge) done here.
It will be better for the future.

I agree with what you said Tinny and will put great consideration into it for any future similar events should they arise.


EDIT:
I apologise for the miss, I should have seen them before I posted it. I could have given people a chance to fix them up.
While this is done in my spare time I do hold myself to higher standards, purely because if I am putting something on for people it should be done right.

[Gorb]

Hey, can't believe I missed this. Congrats to those who got into the finals (and to those special people that murdered kittens did well enough to get two) :D

[Shoota Fodder]

Congrats all. I may get in next time. :p

[MooFreaky]

Hello Kiddies,

The results are in... every entry received votes from multiple Judges, so it was, in no way, completely one sided.

That said, our otp 3 were clearly ahead. With the eventual winner eventually taking the victory by a comfortable margin. I won't post the overall votes, just the positions.


NOTICE: Please use SPOILER tags when commenting on the results, purely so others don't see it before counting down (if they choose to do so - which is something I would do if I wasn't the host. Therefore, clearly, everyone else does...)



Gorb
Ultramarines . . . how did a Chapter so widely promoted suck so much?

Moleytov
Bloody Hell! Just how many dice are you rolling???

8th - Xenith
You will worship the Emperor, or you will die, heretic!

7th - FerociousBeast
Xenos, daemons, heretics, and traitors fight over the Imperium's corpse.

6th - Xenith
The great eye belches forth dark corruption to assail humanity

5th - Ignius Divinii
His Death, Brings Life. His Life, Brings Death. The Emperor.

4th - Flonky
After so long, Chaos has not toppled the Imperium - n00bs.

3rd - Doohicky
Some beer, Some friends, 4 hours of love and hate

2nd - FerociousBeast
Servitors patrol the decaying hive, deserted for a thousand years.

1st - Fixer
Five hours converting. Ten Hours painting. Won't balance on terrain.

[moleytov]

A well worthy winner, congratulations.

[cfoley]

It's a Fix! (er)

Congratulations to everyone who placed, and thanks to everyone who took part for giving me a laugh.

[Doohicky]

Wow Well happy with 3rd place there. Podium finish nothing to sneeze at!
Congrats to Fixer! Well done

Good job to all, and especially Moofreaky and all the judges.

[Gorb]

And the congratulations go to Fixer, he of the Salamanders Chapter! Shame, I only came in joint 9th, I'll have to bash the Smurfs harder next time :D
Nice competition, thanks go to Moo and the judges-who-shall-not-be-named, and I hope we have another thing like this soon!

[FerociousBeast]

Fixer!

I'm pleased with 2nd fiddle to such an apt and amusing entry ;)

Thanks to Moo and the judges.

[Flonky]

Fourth? Bah, good enough! :bigwave:

Congrats, Fixer, well deserved!

Nice competition overall.

[Fixer]

You like me! You really like me :D

Thanks everyone. It was a fun competition and a lot of good quotes were put in. Also to MooFreaky for setting everything up and organising it all!

[Xenith]

Well done Fixer! Im Happy with 6th and 8th place, hehe, although I think my Dark Eldar one would have been the runaway winner...grumble groan... :P