Chronicles of Relic, the Great Forum war: OOC thread

[Ironwatsas]

Relicfourms, long has it been the bastion of some of the few intelectuals on the world known as the internet. With it's crack staff of moderators, legions of fans, highly trained modders and scripters, and thousands of loyal members, Relicfourms is a beacon of light on the dark and dangerous sea of the internet.

Though all lights attract certian bugs.

From the dark recesses of the internet come thousands of n00bs, trolls, h4X0rs, and general assh*les who would bring destruction upon the fourm. Normally, they are too disorganised to become a threat and most are destroyed before they can penatrate Relicfourms' outer IRC channels.

But now a new threat emerges, one that will catch the fourm off guard and create a new age of conflict between the Relicfourms and their ancient enamies, if the fourm can survive. Most fourmers will be caught off guard by the first wave of the coming darkness, but they will stand united against the forces that would destroy the jewel of the internet, the embodiment of what fourms should be...

...Or fall trying.

This BW is set in the present day during an invasion of the Relic fourms from forces that will be revealed later during the storyline, but for the first 20 or so posts, there will be relitive peace and normal fourm activities to set up for the rest of the BW.

The rules will be somewhat diffrent compared to other BWs. Powergaming is a nessessity, though overdoing it will cause bad things to happed to whoever crossed the line. For example, players can have weapons like Nuclear Bass, X-ray vision, super strength, Wtfpwn goggles, and laser hair, though please describe your crazy, stupid, noobish, implausible, or any other form of attack/weaponry that doesen't speak for itself. Players can also come back to life if 'killed' (I.E. player 1 shoots player 2 with rifle, player 2 dies, only to burst out of the wall paneling in the GD fourm several hours later.), but if they are 'banned' (though this can only be done by a moderator or weapons like banstick/bancannons/etc which are unavailable to the player initially), then they are gone forever, unless they are unbanned by a moderator/admin.

Players will be the same that they are in real life, that means you can't be a moderator or senior member in the BW unless you are in RL. That also means you cannot be anyone else on the fourm (I.E. Ironwatsas cannot say he's Atmawpn, Greenstone cannot be UberJumper, etc), however I may allow people to play (though noe control) other fourmers unless they are active members of the Boardwar. For example "Ironwatsas walks to the GD fourm, only to find Dyntheos locking a pr0n thread while Ceejayoz and Moe beat the perpitrator with bansticks." will be allowed unless of course those mentioned were active members of the Boardwar itself. Note that I will change or abolish this if anyone disagrees.

I'm currently allowing this to add a bit more depth to the BW so players can have conversations and extend the storyline without interfering with other players antics or getting into and out of a humorous situation without damaging your punchlines or plot holes. Though no disrespecting or insulting other people in any way and no crap like "and then Sorak appeared and banned everybody and destroyed the Universe and ate some pie." Kinda crap. And if you play as a member and they want you not to or want you to change something, then do as they say. Also try to have said people behave like they would on the actual fourm. Generally do unto others as you would have done unto you.

Aside from this, the standard Boardwar and general Fourm rules apply, feel free to ask me questions and make whatever changes you feel are nessisary. Any and all feedback will be taken into account.

But most improtantly, Teamwork. Players are encouraged (required) to interact with one another for this to work properly, so pay attention to those around you.

Here's the general setup of what a character sheet will look like.

Name: Ironwatsas
Status: Fiction Writer, Psuedo Board Warrior, Homeworlder, Dawn of Warrior, Company of Heroes Noob
Rank: Watsas
Equipment: Rainbow Cannon, Minidreadnaught Cannon, Bhudda Cheat, ammo h4x
Abilities: Laser vision, Human nature Spam, Feeding frenzy, telaportation
Affiliation: PDS mod team, Company of Homeworld (unofficial)
Description: Ironwatsas is fairly new to the fourms but had proven annoying enough. Watsas is known to be a fiction writer on the PDS mod fourm and appears to enjoy randomly writing about pieces of SciFi military hardware, this is reflected in the several Homeworld Idea dump threads in the Homeworld series subfourm. Watsas will occasionaly play the odd boardwar and spam up the GD fourms when appropriate.

Watsas is armed with a minidreadnaught cannon (a model hw2 dreadnaught with working phased cannon array) and a rainbow machine (part of his failed ion powered hoverbike experament, later sold to Retroboy for his cloning machine). Watsas will more commonly use his laser vision or his tactic of using human nature as an excuse to back up his arguments.

It is advised against mentioning food anywhere near Watsas, as he will become crazy and begin rampaging around looking for something to eat. Several n00bs have gone missing as a result.

[crawford'n'co]

Name: Elite-Zealot / GawD

Status: 3-D Modeler, Poet, boardwarrior, homeworlder, dawn of war noob.

Rank: High Angel / Covenant Warlord

Equipment:
Elite-Zealot: Dual Plasma Rifles, Plasma Sword, Cloak Generator.
GawD: Angel Wings, Holy Armour, Glaive, Infinite Ammo.

Abilities:
Being Warp; As the GawD--EliteZealot entity is a double being, he can switch between them at will, though the process takes a bit of time.
Heavenly Light; GawD can absorb all light in the area to create pitch blackness, or magnify it to create a blinding light that penetrates even the most sophisticated of darkeners.
Holy Rage; Elite-Zealot can enter a rage driven by the Great Journey. When in this state, he can take immense amounts of pain and can sustain injuries that would kill even the strongest of n00b5.

Affiliation: Studio Lurker

Description: For the beginning months on the RelicForums, Elite-Zealot was unknown to all but the Moderators and fellow Studio Members. After some time, he entered the full domain of the Forums, and began to gain a presence in the Homeworld Sections and Warhammer 40000 Discussion. He has yet to enter the IRC Channels.

Only several months ago, Elite-Zealot was merged with the being known as GawD. Now with their combined powers and experiance, they are a nigh unstoppable force.

[Captain Elson]

Let's give it a whirl, where it stops nobody knows:

Name: Captain Elson
Status: General aggravator/ delusional maniac
Rank: Member
Equipment: 1 super keyboard
Abilities: Disagree- can create an argument that annoys other people because he can delve into the powers of irrationality and create irrational things.

i- being an irrational freak allows Elson to delve into the powers of the number i. with it he can create imagineary things(exploding teddy bears, antimatter pistols etc).

Affiliation: Homeworld
Description: Elson is a Homeworld fanatic. he swears fealty to homeworld and the way of its teachings. He is generally a loner, only coming out to attack particularily foolish things and puting his 2 cents of aggravation.

[BmB]

Heck...

...why not? After all this time, GW3 sortof scarred me, but what the hell? Also, RL takes up time and resources, what do we need it for?

Name: BmB23
Status: Depressio, semi-philosopher, young, pseudo-scien(ce)-tist, Halo fan.
Rank: Member
Equipment: Neo-style metal stick when available, various Halo weaponry.
Abilities: Psionics, willpower, able to produce black box of /me/IRC-doom containing aforementioned Halo weaponry, fanboy-attack, power of neutrality.
Affiliation: General discussions, n00b-modders, Dustwars, Microsoft.
Description: BmB23 joined the Relic Forums in April 2004 to get help, support and mods for Homeworld 2. He also made a few feeble attempts on making mods himself, but was unsuccesful. He stuck around since, and slowly but steadily improved his English, attitude and netiquette. He is now an active member of the Relic Forums community. Most often seen in the General Discussion, but also lurk other parts of the forum and occasionally reply there. (weekee, lol, /lazy)

[Lestaki]

Alright, maybe.

Name: Lestaki
Status: Fiction Writer, veteran but flagging Board Warrior
Rank: Senior Member
Equipment: None per sae
Abilities: Blade Magic, Jenova Touch- the summonation and manipulation of a variable blade, between his height and twice his height, as well as armour, and related magic.

Gun Magic, Kineas Rifle- a similar summonation skill, which enables the creation of a variable gun, typically a high-powered energy rifle ("like Lancelot from Code Geass has, but human size"). Related magic.

Whisp Magic, Muse- a flying magical companion spirit that processes all Lestaki sees and hears and turns it into story ideas. Muse can transform on command into its powerful battle form, Kanamomo, a moderately sized two-headed white dragon. Also known as Lily. However, Muse's battle form changes over time, even over the course of a few minutes- Kanamomo is merely the latest in the line.

Affiliation: None to speak of
Description: A wandering warrior with the attention span of a gnat, Lestaki is most frequently seen writing and rewriting random ideas as they occur to him. Very few of these projects reach any decent length, especially in recent times. Very occasionally posts in the Studio, also in boardwars and general discussions.

[Hiroshi_Tea]

Name: Hiroshi_Tea

Status: artist, psuedo board warrior, Kadeshi fanatic, and Imperial Guard fanatic.

Rank: Senor forum member wannabe

Equipment: Haikus, the 2nd hyperspace core, paper, and a very sharp pen/pencil

Abilities: Can argue about religion to prove that it does exist, causing massive Spam and hate filled private messages. Haikus provide massive annoyances and prove great at distracting people. Can hyperspace from place to place with the 2nd hyperspace core. In addition, he can do the fatal paper cut and pen/pencil stab attack. Can fold paper into any weapon he wants.

Affiliation: Christian Missionary Alliance (if you really wanted to know…:p)

Description: Hiroshi_tea is a selfless individual willing to take flak for what he believes in. However, he also craves attention, and thus writes in an odd style of haiku rather than prose. He usually can be found in the studio, homeworld, and dawn of war balance discussions where he knows he can get the most attention. However, he is cautious and makes sure everyone within the discussions gets attention.

Hiroshi_tea is skilled with folding origami and can fashion almost anything he wishes, ranging from ninja stars, catapults to birdies and anything in between. In addition, he is a trained marital artist and favors the pen as his weapon (since the pen is mightier than the sword).

[Ironwatsas]

Okay, Lestaki is my consistancy guy, and I'm putting up the IC thread. Until I say otherwise, we're accepting new members.

[Kaito]

is it a new fashion to have spelling errors in your thread titles? :S

[Ironwatsas]

Yes, but where.

Also, IC thread is up and running.

[VladimirNikolai]

"Chronicals" is spelt "Chronicles".

Name: VladimirNikolai
Status: Fiction Writer, Psuedo Board Warrior, Company of Heroes n00b, Call of Duty fan, Civillisation IV Nerd, Novice "Radiant" user.
Rank: Awesome
Equipment: Rusty old Colt .45 (M1911A1), Nuclear ICBMs, Rocket feet, Improbability Drive, Baked Beans.
Abilities: Quick-draw (coincides with "Quick-press" for use with ICBMs), Death-stare, Kill-fart.
Affiliation: None to speak of.
Description:
Vladimir joined the Relic Forums late 2006, because his friend found out that he was writing a crappy book, and referred him to the Boardwars. This is the only thread that Vladimir has ever posted in on the Relic forums, ever. He is known to half-write the opening of what could potentially be a good boardwar, but then decide it is crap and delete it all.

His equipment includes a very rusty, very old M1911A1, a relic of the Vietnam war, which he aquired for no particular reason. He has a stockpile of nuclear ICBMs hidden somewhere in Russia, and carries a little 'red button' which he can press to fire one at any time. His rocket feet mean he can fly into the air at any point, but they tend to be hard to control, so crashes occur often. His Improbability Drive does as the name suggests, makes something occur that is completely improbable. The one problem with this, is that it can be anything whatsoever. Pressing the big, round, green button can make Whales and Flowerpots fall out of the sky, his enemy's head implode, his OWN head implode, or a kitten to spontaneously combust in a small house three threads over.

His abilities include being able to very quickly draw and fire his old pistol, as well as being able to quickly fire an ICBM, which is kinda pointless, considering they take a good 15 seconds to reach their target - (that's a damn fast rocket!). His death-stare is more than enough to put any noob or troll in an uneasy state of mind, and his kill-fart, coupled with the baked beans, make for a smell which crushes the minds of his enemies.

[Ironwatsas]

Now I know how Bonnet feels, thanks Vlad.

[VladimirNikolai]

Any time *tips hat*.

[BmB]

I'm not quite clear on a few things, like the structure of the fictional forums. It would be nice to be able to more intimatly describe travelling without breaking conventions of any kind. Is it a flat plane with the various sections in their own huge rooms? Or is it divided in different floors? With each section it's own storey? Or what?

[Raver]

Name: Rabid.Gerbil
Status: Fiction Writer, Board Warrior, Homeworlder, Halo Spartan, ZEN Vision Master
Rank: AwesomeR! / ZEN Master
Equipment: ZEN Vision: M MP3 Player, LG mobile phone, bulky wallet, Scorpion. Ruger Bolt-Action Sniper Rifle (Black/Silver), Several hundred Umpa Lumpa's.
Abilities: Mobile phone of awesomeness, killer burps, short people.
Affiliation: Knows VladimirNikolai, has a few short people which trail him around, every now and again he kicks them or throws them at enemies.
Description:

Rabid.Gerbil has been the scourge of the Boardwar section for more than a year now, destroying threads with his rampant powergaming. He has learned to control himself slightly but every now and again his fourteen foot afro takes control and he goes insane.

Always WITHOUT FAIL listening to music and dancing along to it. He usually lobs him mobile phone at people who annoy him, resulting in skull fractures and concussions. He has a pet scorpion called scorpion which he puts on people, it usually finishes eating them within the our. When his afro is under control he wears a golf cap, a brown jacket with a blue shirt underneath, jeans and thongs. Has a passionate hatred of anyone who uses 'leetspeak'. He has the appearance of an angel in retro clothing, in other words a normal person with retro clothes and giant white wings.

[WalkerK19]

it's been a while I haven't participated in BW. This will make my second time participating in BW. It seem that this game has the elements of breaking the fourth wall, no?




Name : WalkerK19

Status : Artist, occasional spammer, DoW and CoH fans, long distance relationship, natural hatred of Pokemons.

Rank : Member

Equipment : hair of agony, harmonica of discontent.

Abilities : uncanny cooking expertise, do critical damage to Pokemon and Pokemon's francise by going mental on them, giving cheap non-thoughful one liner, can induce side-effect to anyone who stare at the hair long enough.

Affiliation : General Discussion

Description : After long search in order to quench the thirst of DoW in 2005, stumbled upon this place and joined at the same year. Easy going and easily offended by mild insult (not sarcasm).

Likes to cook -which coincidentally, able to produce potions for the sake of this BW. Emotionally scarred for life after watching several ridicoulous Pokemon's episodes, which is a ridicoulous reason enough to explain the ability.

Gained the hair of agony after surviving gauntlets of scissors and shaving machines in the "Forbidden Barber Shop right beside the Taco Stand". Only to realize that it was an awful thing that I paid for. So awful, that my mother shrieked with foamy mouth. To this moment, the abomination-barber-miss-cut is sealed under a tight cap. Only to be unleashed to cause random side-effect to anyone who dare enough to stare at it. Will save check will be marked as bullshit, as anyone who sees it should either gouge his/her own eyes or use a blindfold (a really thick one) to be truly immune. And I don't play DnD.

While the harmonica of discontent isn't cursed nor have magical properties. I never practiced with it, which a reason why people can't stand the piercing sound of me playing.



*Hmm... I'm pretty much not good at describing.

[crawford'n'co]

Well, as far as I know, the NewComers / GD is a big gigantic hall, with Dyn's throne at the end. The Boardwars are on a gigantic cliff several thousand feet above the GD. And thats all I can say.

[Hiroshi_Tea]

this BW is friggin crazy
i'm somewhat daunted by this
so i'm withdrawing my character

this BW leaves me so confused
O.o

[crawford'n'co]

Its ok Hiroshi, its actually quite simple.

1. RelicForums is invloved in a massive invasion on Spammers, Hackers, Trolls, and Noobs.

2. Each character is the actual writer himself, in the form that he wishes to be seen. (ex: im either a covenante elite, or an angel)

3. You go around like a regular day, and the forums are where like everyone lives, etc etc.

[Mullertime]

Name: Mullertime
Status: Cartoonist, negotiator, Maverick, Psychological Madman and professional Joke Assassin
Rank: Average Joe with his own Avatar
Equipment:
x1 X-ray shades, also acts as automatic-targetters
x1 'Peace Bringer' It's the name of the Tommy gun the Avatar holds. It's primarily used for diluting situations and settling debates.
-Additional Ammo:
x3 Anti-flammatory canisters. Used to quell the evil forces of flaming.
x2 Magazines of 'Debate Crushers'. Extra strong ammo to destabilise particularly strong debates
x1 signpost with 'Use Search function' written all over it
x1 Backseat Moderator grenade

x1 Shield generator. Incorporated into my hat. It generates a small forcefield and grants minor psychic powers
x1 Hawiian Shirt. Filled with the powers of the Hawiian laid back attitude, the shirt emits an aura, which helps dispel flames
x1 Yin-Yang coin. Powerful summoning beacon. Can only be used once. Unleashes 4 inner spirits. The Explosion God, the Stone God, the Dark God, and the Hawiian God
Abilities:
-Can quell the evil forces of flaming
-Can help settle disputes
-Very versatile, with a whole range of different types of ammunition to suit the job
-Very good aim
-Generally keeps a level head
-Can unleash an ultimate summon of inner beings, representing the inner persona.
Description:
Veteran to the general forums, but by no means an expert, Mullertime has been scouting and learning for over a year now. He now likes to take the front lines in political and moral debates, tapping out huge waves of answers and replies.

[Red Fox]

Why not
EDIT: Oops
Name: Bentus
Status: Much ignored Fiction writer, Veteran Boardwarrior, Shipbuilder, Mecha Fanatic/Fascist
Rank: Member
Equipment:
1x Google Sketchup Tablet- Being good at 3D modeling and having a vast imagination, Bentus cannot only make things in Google Sketchup but also bring them to life and put them to use.
1x Gundam XXXG-00 Armor- As part of his never ending love for mecha of any sort, Bentus replicated a suit of body armor identical to his favorite mecha Wing Zero.
2x Beam Saber- Comes with the Gundam Armor. An effective way of cutting up noobs into tiny pieces. Stored in the shoulders
1x Twin Buster Rifle- Comes with the Gundam Armor. A highly destructive weapon used for taking down noobs in large droves. personal modifications allow for rapid fire.
2x Machine Cannons- Built into Gundam Armor. More point defense rather than weapons but can be used to tear things apart.
1x Nova System- When the going gets tough Bentus activates a module inside his armor turning it into a full sized mecha. It is a mix of Wing Zero and Strike Freedom. The ultimate Noob pwning suit.
1
Abilities:

Regeneration- Using complexed biological nanites, Bentus can heal at many times the normal rate of a member and even some senior members. Can also regrow body parts(Even the head)

Hyper Reaction- Bentus has a reaction time faster than even some senior moderators and is not afraid to use it when he needs to. The only down side is sometimes he reacts so fast that his brain doesn't get the entire picture in.

Light it up- Bentus is also very good at laying down suppression and covering fire for allies thanks to his light speed reaction time. Light it up is essentially his version of Ammo H4X with the Twin buster rifle spraying the area with pure energy and ionizing even things that don't get caught in the blast.

Self Destruct- If the situation of capture or need it be done for the forums a Self Destruct device is stored not only inside the armor but also inside of Bentus himself leading to a VERY nasty surprise for his captors. In the tradition of Gundam all that happens to Bentus and the armor is loss of an arm and a leg. Puts him down for a week while he regrows body parts and chugs orange juice to regrow blood.

Affiliation: Boardwars and IRC Channel. Bentusi
Description: When not inside of some crazy machine that he drew up last night or test flying a space ship made by another forumite, Bentus looks like a normal human teenager. He usually is found around the Studio and 40k Forums but will occasionally pop in and put his word in a mod for Homeworld or GD.

[Psymon]

Name: Psymon

Status: Fluffnut, Boardwarrior, Animal Guy

Rank: Member

Equipment: Staff, coat, pistol, tinkerin' kit (can fix/modify pretty much anything)

Abilities: Can fly and drive pretty much anything, a good swimmer,
Tough as Old Boots - Fairly self explanatory, Psymon can take a huge amount of punishment
Extra Tinkered Up Stuff - Psymon can use a special suit of armour he made himself. Incorporates a laser weapon in each arm and increases his already prodigious strength and toughness.

Affiliation: Boardwarrior, defender of Backstory and Fluff

Description: A tall human teenager with long brown hair. Hangs around Backstory and Fluff, the Studio and occasionally GD or a gaming forum. Strong sense of honour and morality, with a severe weakness for anything he find cute.

[Kaito]

Yes, but where.

>>
Chronicles of Relic, the Great fourm war: OOC thread

I was rather talking about this one.

[EagleBlue]

Name: EagleBlue
Status: BoardWar fanatic, Dawn of War fanatic and Halo fanatic
Rank: BoardWar player
Equipment: Boxes of Matter/Objects and Fully Functional MJOLNIR Mark V armor
Abilities: Infinite Knowledge and Summoning Powers
Affiliation: BoardWars and Dawn of War forum
Description: He is a Dawn of War player but loves the BoardWars. He made the Boxes of Matter/Objects can summon nearly anything he thinks.But the objects expect food and water are infinite. Other info will be included later in the story.

[BmB]

GawD, why did you not respond to my "What the hell is that?" ? I adressed it to your character, maybe I should have been more specific, but I thought it was obvious.

[crawford'n'co]

Sorry, I guess I missed that one.

[BmB]

Well, nobody's perfect.

[VladimirNikolai]

Except me. I am. Go the Improbability Drive.

[Gorb]

And me. I know I'm perfect. Everyone else's view of reality is skewed, that's all. I'll sign up in a bit.

EDIT: Here's we go!

Name: Gorb
Status: Board Warrior v1.3, Studio artist (WIP), n00b modder (WIP), Relic Forumer.
Rank: [information deleted]

Equipment: Quarterstaff, Fellstone (a mystical stone, Gather Information DC 55 to find out more), Mozilla Firefox 2.0, Cloak of the Night, Ellrissar (a ancient artefact the lends powers to Gorb in moments of need), DC Modtools (beta).

Abilities: Handy .lua writing, multiple tabs (so can be on several pages at once), assassin techniques and training, sorcerous powers. These will be explained and expanded on as they are used.

Affiliation: End-gamer, sanctioned Board Warrior. Chaos Fanatic. Role player (when not forum-browsing)

Description: Well, you see, you can't really see him. And if you see him, you tend to be either a friend, ally, or cold meat. If you do catch him, he'll be cloaked in shadows, and will carry nothing (apparently) but a battered old staff.

A clash of old and new, tradition and innovation, Gorb is caught between the ages. This is his third Trial. If he succeeds, he will prove that he is able to survive in the modern world, and live normally alongside mortal men. Those lucky few Forumers who have met him, feel that he will succeed.

[Ironwatsas]

Okay, at this point in the boardwar, most of the initial wave of n00b5 attacking have been vanquished, but there are more gathering and isolated pockets of resistance.
Now, the counterattack begins.

Just clarifying.

[Captain Elson]

Now Watas, I know what you are thinking, why not just make guns and such, well, elson doen't really think like that, it'd be simple, but beign able to make stuff has to have some drawback to it, you could always mention it to him to actaully think of the obvious.

[<{$W}>mr plow]

Here's My character hope I'm not to over the top

Name:<{$W}>Mr Plow
Status:Lurker(mostly),Warhammer 40K player,Dawn of war player,Studio poster (sometimes)
Rank:Member

Equipment:
Combi-flamer :Master crafted Bolter With an under slung Flamer
Chain Sword :Run of the mill Chain sword Its many diamond tipped blades revolving at a high speed will mince most things
Chaos rune :A potent warp Icon that surrounds Mr Plow
With raw warp energy affording him protection from all but the most potent weapons

Abilities :
Back button : Allow for very short jumps back in time depending on how long he has been on the current page

Affiliation:Chaos worshiper, Supporter for dignity in todays youth

Description:A aggressive short tempered some times over the top Guy.Most of the time He is well mannered calm and quiet but has a habit of exploding over what some would consider minor insults.

He is easily spotted by his unbuttoned Black trench coat,Grey armored chest place,his polished belt buckle carved in the shape of a grinning skull,and the Chaos Star amulet that glows with the energy of the warp itself

And thats it.