View Full Version : Funny
15th Feb 02, 11:37 PM
Who is in Charge?
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge, "said the brain, "because
I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing
I should be in charge" said the blood, "because
I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all
"I should be in charge, " said the stomach,"
because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge" said the legs, "because
I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because
I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge, "said the rectum,
"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible
headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got
wobbly, the eyes got watery and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge.
15th Feb 02, 11:48 PM
I went for a week and a half without crapping once. Trust me, if you'd seen the state of where we were staying, you wouldn't have either.
Funnily, it didn't leave much of an impression on me. It musn't have been that bad. Felt good when I got back home though... nothing more refreshing than a good, bowel-clearing dump.
I have a half-assed theory that much like orgasms, the body rewards itself for excreting. Releases a feelgood drug into the blood or something, as with orgasms, to set up a pleasure reward system for doing a good thing, ie dumping/peeing. You can't tell me there isn't something like that, when I get back from a night out and could almost collapse in a heap, it feels so good to piss.
Any biology bods tell me more?
16th Feb 02, 12:53 PM
Shouldn't this be in GD? Or exist at all?
16th Feb 02, 4:25 PM
Yeah, I guess so. You gonna move it?
Of course it should exist. Who died and made you the Arbiter of existence? Where else but here are you going to read about theories on excretal reward?
16th Feb 02, 5:24 PM
LOL! Thatz hilarious! And most of the time, itz true too...
16th Feb 02, 8:34 PM
sorry apollo but you seemed to have missed gd... moving.
16th Feb 02, 8:59 PM
Physiology isn't my forte but there's an old saying:
"It's like beating your head against the wall. It feels so good when you stop."
As for actual biological linkage of "feeling good" with "going to the bathroom" I don't know for certain if there's a specific neurological response for those things alone or if it just falls under the category of tense muscles getting relief.
17th Feb 02, 12:15 AM
17th Feb 02, 3:05 PM
heard that one in Just For Laughs a long time ago.
17th Feb 02, 7:05 PM
That was my other idea, muscle relaxing. It just wasn't as interesting.
It's a nice side-effect of evolution. There's one in the eye for creationism - would a higher being really equip us with a pleasurable bowel release? Unless they had a crude sense of humour. Hell, that sounds like my kinda god.
18th Feb 02, 5:55 PM
Actually it aint that much in the eye of creationism because if it didnt feel any better after releaving preasure then youd be for ever feeling constapated[sp?] and thats basically the only "pleasure" we get out of such a thing is because PREASURE is releaved.
when a topic swings the way of a bowel movement pleasure based creationist vs evolutionist debate, you know you're in GD again...
this thread is about the rectum. not politix. not the meaning of life. not photon beams on kadeshi ion cannon frigates. not god. not darwin.
18th Feb 02, 6:17 PM
i <3 j00, rekiz.
18th Feb 02, 7:07 PM
It was kind of a joke but you ARE right and this thread is kind of disgusting come to think of it.:smash:
Well either way you people focus on weird crap to much for my taste you guys are all just to wierd.:D :D :smash:
18th Feb 02, 11:25 PM
Only one :smash: per thread, please.
The rythmic beatings send Dyntheos into an ecstacy-filled wonderland...of optical pain.
19th Feb 02, 11:42 AM
that reminds me of a futurama episode when bender (the robot's name) was cooking hamburgers in his closet stomach thing and fry said something which he didn't like. bender (an abnoxious greedy thing) said "bite my red hot metal ass". then he gets up and sees his metal behind is virtually on fire cos it's red hot. so he gets up and runs around. cos they r all on a beach he runs into the sea and obviously water against red hot metal makes a large hissing sound much like the feeling of getting into a bath. anyway he says "oh yeah" in that extremely pleasurable sense of the phrase much like the feeling u get when u relieve yourself. really funny.
24th Feb 02, 7:49 PM
A rare day indeed when a moderator tells us to continue discussing the rectum, and only the rectum...
Anyhow, funny stuff there, Apollo.
24th Feb 02, 9:45 PM
Week and a half dude? geez, i lasted 4 days (at a cabin, you could hear ANYTHING in that place)
26th Feb 02, 5:32 PM
About the same here, something like 4-5 days. That was back in my army days. We were all holed up is some desolate forrest at the end of the world and we had these portable latrines with us. And they were made from cardboard... nuff said i think.
For those that wonder how that actually worked(since you cannot sit on carboard toilets as one guy found out the hard way) we but up a large branch between two trees and then placed the so called latrine under it. The branch served as a seat and well..
Theres alot more i could tell on this. I'll let you all decide if i should stop or not.
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