Generic News Thread

[Black]

Article citation

Link to news article (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Autism/story?id=4836331&page=1)

One-liner summary of article.

[Optional: Rhetorical question]

Demand of discussion.

[Caesar]

Uninsightful remark.

[Dyntheos]

statement from the administration to remain on topic or thread will be locked

[Trizzdog]

Unnecessary off topic jab against USA.

[Busby]

Back seat moderating.

generic edit of original message with stern warning - Dyn

[Dyntheos]

statement steering discussion back ontopic with link to wiki reference of topic

[TheLoneKnight]

Plebian comparison of moderators with nazis.

[SquidDNA]

Invective against the forum administration.

[Dyntheos]

statement about picture in OPs article clearly being photoshopped

[Moe]

Lock.

[Dyntheos]

retraction of lock after staff internal discussion.

[Mirehn_Bielann]

Oblique Marx reference about fascist systems playing out on the forums.

[Moe]

Firing of junior mods over the incident.

[TheLoneKnight]

Insinuation of political bias in posters.

[Mirehn_Bielann]

Vehement rant about China and the forum's contribution to global warming

[Black]

Gramatically incorrect and semantically incoherent exposition of naive suburban american teenage political opinion on world politics.

Poor criticism of right wing politics revealing misunderstanding of sociopoliticoeconomic dynamics.

[Kaldaris]

Hypocritical post about lack of contribution to thread.

[Robert Frazer]

lolcat image, immediately edited out to avoid forum rules but with an apology remaining so that everyone can still know that the poster is a real wit.

[Dyntheos]

cupcakes reference

[Derivative]

Statement about article in which clearly shows author did not read said article.

[Zir]

Pedantic and sarcastic comment showing no interest in the topic.

[TheLoneKnight]

Reference to thread several months ago discussing this topic.

[Rev'var]

A link showing a superior solution to the dilemna only to be discovered it was actually a Star Trek episode.

[bitz]

Complaint of how administration locks threads too quickly, and demand something be done about this or member X and I will quit purchasing Relic games.

[Tails]

Sarcastic remark.

[yetanotherplayer]

Assertion of superior knowledge/perspective regarding the topic at hand.

[Soldato_006]

Comment on something remotely related to article then becoming lost completely and stating something completely irrelevant.

[Doomrider]

Cut and Paste response to something completely different

[NovaBurn]

Overly wordy statement regurgitating what's already been said merely to comment and look intelligent.

[MagosMechanicus]

Grammar nazi omnislash.

[snrjefe]

Questioning if 30 hitlers like 20 hitlers if you're an assbee?

[Trizzdog]

Insulting rant about parties involved in the article followed by an admittance to downloading warez.

[HunterX]

Insensitive statement about mental and/or physical health of people referenced in article while questioning their sexual orientation.

[JAL-18]

Low-brow comparison of previous posters to console players.

[HunterX]

Off topic remark about sexual preferences of PC elitists.

[Robert Frazer]

Backseat moderating, noisily crowing that the poster of message No. 32 will be banned.

[Dyntheos]

summoning squid for a scientific evaluation of the data provided within the OP

[Retroboy]

"Forum ate my post and I had to retype" complaint.

Helpful comment to new forum member explaining purpose of posts is to baldly characterize typical content and thread flow in the most generic and concise language possible.

Suggestion that complaint content within topic should be moved to forum issues.

[habitual nickname signature prefaced by two dashes]

[Retroboy]

Refutation about how 'new blood' is necessary.

Self-referential tongue-in-cheek wisecrack about contributor's age.

[habitual nickname signature prefaced by two dashes]

[ShivaArchon]

Snipe at one snippet of the argument while ignoring the rest of it.

[Retroboy]

Retropun(TM)

:smilie_signifying_humour:

[habitual nickname signature prefaced by two dashes]

[NovaBurn]

Reply to post #39 with comment on sad remembrance of moderating when CoH released.

[TheDividedGod]

Exasperated sigh.

[GeoffS]

Slightly reworded statement about picture in OPs article clearly being photoshopped since I didn't read the preceding pages.

[Kapyrna]

Facepalm

[Kheturus]

Religion!

Proclamation of idiocy!

[TheDeadlyShoe]

Threats of physical violence combined with assertion of superior physique and reference to others as dorks

[Ironwatsas]

Witty rebuttal to threats of physical violence combined with assertion of superior physique and reference to others as dorks citing leading to self-absorbed spiel about poorly thought out world domination scheme.

Brief paragraph relating to thread having no idea what I'm talking about leading to arbitrary reference to Aprature Science Weighted Companion cube, and/or Garry's mod

[Insert 300 refrences as nessiscary]

[BrianGeneral]

I have no ideas about what's going on.

Praises towards PRC government for Sichuan Earthquake relief works

[klotzy]

Completely unrelated post about luffs Buggo.

[son of tzeentch]

Admission to downloading warez.

Fast apology saying it was a joke

Exasperated relief my account is not ion cannon fodder, and i am not on karos.

Elephant:
:elephant:

[Wintermute]

What does it really mean to embrace "mega-robustly"?

[Bonnet]

Witty troll that will undoubtedly make at least one poster look like an idiot.

[reki]

http://abroadbands.com/motivator.jpg

[Lomax]

Attempt to bag some easy sympathies by uninspiredly quoting old forum jokes that resulted from spam threads.

Cheap right wing argument based on ivory tower understanding of economics.

[son of tzeentch]

Lascannon blast aimed at any who insult me.

An offering of $5 to insult me.

Elephant:
:elephant:

[GeoffS]

Complaint that earlier thread was locked and this one hasn't been.

[son of tzeentch]

Spambot 5000 begins operations

Flamebot 5001 begins operations

Insensitive comment insulting all mods.

Hasty apology for said insensitive comment.

[Ironwatsas]

Feigns ignorance at spambots.

Commend subtly acknowlaging my habit of never posting in the GD forums outside of spam threads.

Poorly thought out closing statement attempting to be funny.

[Merged Double Post]

[ShyGuy]

Troll

[Lomax]

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MMR_vaccine_controversy) Links (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiomersal_controversy)

Demand that the discussion be led with more scientific rigor as it is taking place in the internet after all.

[Lomax]

Review of the type of argument, then either

a) attack on the argument on the grounds of it using only anecdotical evidence and being unscientific or

b) retraction of the argument to base assumptions and method of the general school of thinking. Uncovering of the unavoidable flaws and the fundamental status of uncertainty about these base assumptions. Attack on the philosophy behind the argument.

[fneep]

Metapost™, (on the abstract nature of the thread) containing: 'an over-use of "commas", "brackets" & "other-punctuation-elements"'; leading to an unreadable/irrelevant message.

[LynX]

Single-liner-ly refutes Metapost™ by suggesting the poster creates vaccuum. :D

[Retroboy]

Completely off-topic and irreverent comment likening previous poster's name to the sound the RoadRunner makes.

[Jianaran]

Witty one liner that has already been said, back on page one.
Refutation of point made several pages back that has been forgotten/rebutted.

TL;DR comment.

Gentle trolling of [$NewestMember].

Funny but offtopic comment comparing the OP's opinions to that of a mentally unstable video-gaming communist.

[Sangius]

sarcastic remark involving squirrels and warez

[Illiandri2]

Claim that all is a conspiracy perpertrated by a secretive organisation

[A7K]

refute statement of conspiracy with a link to YTMND


Link (http://cartmanlazytown.ytmnd.com/)

[Sangius]

generic spam about moderators mother and father with obskure reference to monty python

[TheDeadlyShoe]

Whiny demand for thread lock

[Sangius]

remarkable on topic post followed by personal detest of whiners

[Ammon Ra]

This thread is spam. Or words to that effect. (OWTTE)

[Kirjava]

Brief and debateably-humourous remark stemming from poster's desire to participate but realisation that he has little, if anything, to add that has not already been said.

[Handarazuur]

Lurk

[Sangius]

generic comments questioning your sexualaty (see following handgesture)

[Retroboy]

demand that things get back on topic

[rowan sjet]

Image of cute animal with accompanying text indicating the poster's lack of knowledge in the topic the OP wishes to discuss

[Sangius]

vague apology for being out of line followed by picture of cats in teacups

statement of topic parameters being vague and should be defined before any further descussion can take place

[Kirjava]

Enthusiastic request for thread to be Vaulted.

[Lomax]

Angry claim that point has been made clear and everyone who refuses to agree is a fool.

Alleviation of the expression while essentially saying the same thing again.

[rowan sjet]

Quotation of post #83
Excessive use of smilies to indicate agreement

[Sangius]

stating that we are getting closer to fulfilling Godwin's law

[Meatkin]

Unhelpful remark pointing out that its just 'Space', followed by internet slang indicating laughter.

[Robert Frazer]

Ironically fulfils Godwin's Law.

[Dyntheos]

eventual lock of thread due to it diverting from the original topic.

well played all.

[Moe]

Statement of posting in thread post-closure.

[reki]

Two year old bump.

(lol, I agree!)