Let's Play: Crusader Kings 2! (Curses! Suspended until September)

[Kirjava]

Of all the games we've been playing lately, few seem to have spurred such storytelling as Crusader Kings 2 (http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?266593-Crusader-Kings-II). The game seems so perfectly suited to AAR (After Action Reports) that, when n0z3killer's excellent Let's Play for Europa Universalis 3: Divine Wind (http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?257893-Let-s-Play-Europa-Universalis-3-Divine-Wind!-Last-Updated-12th-July-(Post-109)) got going again, it seemed like pure foolishness not to join in and make a ham-fisted attempt at my own.

Like Europa Universalis 3, Crusader Kings 2 is a grand strategy game from Paradox Interactive, but there's a twist. Instead of a state or a country, you play a dynasty. Pick a ruler from across Europe, North Africa and the Middle East and try to ensure your survival and prosperity from your start date (1066 for us) to 1452. You must survive wars, assassination attempts and the schemes of your vassals and fellow lords so that your family might survive. The game is full of characters, each with their own stats and traits, determining whether they're a dutiful cleric, a clever strategist or a syphilitic-ridden hedonist. Also like EU3, there are no ultimate objectives beyond "survive", so you can largely decide how you want to play- and the game is real-time, but with a pause function and different speeds of play.

That's the crux of it- I recommend a read of our CK2 thread if you fancy seeing a bit more of what it's all about. Meanwhile, we need to pick a character. Here's where it gets interesting! There are four levels of playable ruler. From smallest to largest, they are Count, Duke, King and Emperor. My preference would be for a Count or maybe a Duke for this Let's Play, as it would mean more time to show people the basics before we move on to bigger and better things, but that's up to you guys. With the Sword of Islam DLC, we can pick Islamic rulers as well as Catholic and Orthodox ones, meaning only the Pagans, Republics and Theocracies are off-limits. We also have access to the Ruler Designer DLC, so once we've picked a region to rule we can custom-build any sort of maniacal pervert we fancy.

I probably won't play the following:
- Orthodox factions. I know, no Byzantines, but there's far more material in the game for Catholics and Muslims, which will make for a better LP.
- Emperors. Only rules out the Holy Roman Empire and the Byzantines, and this is for complexity reasons I mentioned above.
- Monophystites in Africa. Whilst this can be hilarious for LP purposes, we'd run the risk of being utterly annihilated early on by Islamic forces.

Other than that, run wild- let's hear your suggestions for who we should play as! I've included sliced-up portions of the map below to help get a feel for things, and if anyone has any questions, just ask!The British Isles
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_18.jpg

Scandinavia
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_19.jpg

The Steppes
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_32.jpgGermany
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_20.jpg

France
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_21.jpg

Iberia
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_22.jpgNorth-West Africa
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_23.jpg

West Africa
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_31.jpg

East Africa
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_30.jpgItaly and the Balkans
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_24.jpg

Central Mediterranean
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_25.jpg

The Byzantine Empire
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_26.jpg

The Levant
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_27.jpgAround the Caspian and the Black Seas
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_28.jpg

The Middle East
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_29.jpg

Part 1: Welcome to Östergötland and the House of Sääjuk! (http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?267805-Let-s-Play-Crusader-Kings-2!&p=1045381538&viewfull=1#post1045381538)
Part 2: How To Get Along With A King (Or Not) (http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?267805-Let-s-Play-Crusader-Kings-2!-(Updated-18th-July-Post-24)&p=1045381988&viewfull=1#post1045381988)

[Aesaar]

I'd vote for the Byzantine Empire, but since you don't want to do that, somewhere in the Sweden/Norway area. Vikings are the next best thing to Romans. Even if it's Catholic Vikings. I leave it to you to choose the specifics.

Or the classic choice: England.

[n0z3k1ll3r]

Either a Muslim nation (haven't got the DLC yet so I've not seen them play) or mighty mighty Aquitaine!

[Aerozap]

I only just purchased Crusader Kings II on Steam yesterday and gave the Count of Lübeck a shot, figuring it was best to start small having never played a Paradox game before. Soon enough Denmark swallowed me up and then I picked the wrong side in a title dispute around 1090. Game over but I'm loving it anyway. I'd suggest you try Lübeck so I can see how different things work out for you, but I don't know how interesting being the whipping boy for Denmark or the HRE would be.

So, I suggest the Kingdom of Croatia. Any of the Counts, the Duke, or the King. Nice middle ground in size and difficulty and right smack in the middle between the HRE, the Papal States, and the Byzantines. Close enough to the Middle East to get interesting during crusades too.

As an alternative, I'd be happy with any Muslim leader of your choice. I did pick up that particular DLC, but I don't plan on giving it a try until I exhaust some of my favorite Catholic options.

[Imperial Honour]

Guess I'll have to be the crazy one who does a Let's Play using the Monophystites in Africa when I get time, though moving house is going to be a pain for a while. Meanwhile, sticking with the Count or Duke theme, I hereby vote for the roleplaying of the Dutchy of Lombardy or Emirate of Alexandria, other tempting options were the Dutchy of Novgorod or Flanders and the Emirate of Songhai.

[Coey]

Translyvania

[Busby]

Choose one of the Scandinavian counts and use your court chaplain to convert to the Norse pagan religion. Conquer Europe in the name of Thor!

[Kirjava]

Muslims, Scandinavians and the Balkans leading the pack...

[LoneWolf666]

Scandinavia makes for a lot of expansion possibilities... :p

[Pocktio]

Englaaaaaaaand. Or Sweden.

[sporty]

Trøndelag (not sure if that's Christian by 1066), or Iceland (shows up on the map, but is it an option?). If those are out, random Muslim dynasty.

[Wargrim]

I say go for Denmark and conquer the whole of Scandinavia, the British Islands + Ireland, also as much of the Baltic Sea area as you possibly can. Norway or Sweden if you dont like Denmark, but then, why would you not like Denmark? :p

[Kirjava]

Well, unless a horde of Muslim-lovers (that came out wrong) show up in short order, it's looking like we'll be playing a Scandinavian ruler of some kind. After a quick scan of the area, the Duchy of Östergötland is looking like a promising start. I'm going to create a custom ruler to give us a bit of a head-start, does anyone have any suggestions for what sort of character our lad should be? The better you make him, bear in mind, the older he starts out as (he's definitely having a moustache though).

Edit: I've thrown together a dude, he's not quite as delightfully role-play worthy as Skullcap's suggestion below (he's a blonde haired blue eyed mustachoi'd guy with a talent for fiscal matters; he's patient, temperate, cynical, an organiser and an inspiring leader), but he's more gamey and liable to do better. I'll go throw a drunkard together too :D

[Skullcap]

If he doesn't have a german pornostar mustache it just wouldn't be right. Hm, well if scandinavian then it should be a drunken tactician who easily gets the ladies easy but has a mean streak/hard discipline, while being quite zealous to religion (norsk mythos?), so in essence a really tall warhammer dwarf >.>, that is if you can customise him like that, I've not had time to looking into the custom ruler DLC yet. :D

[Kirjava]

Ok, I've made a guy who ought to be a laugh. I'll get started soon because I'm impatient unless anyone has any objections to the sort of character Skullgrim's described!

[OpelFalcon]

Okay. Because of the hack everything was rolled back to the last back up.

If I remember correctly we (Do I say we?) or you had some claims to fabricate and a wife to wed. Top of the list was the Italian Jobbie, who was as randy as (y)our chap which would also give (y)our heir a nice slice of Italian pie, but then it's in Italy. A land-mass away and nearer to Rome and more than likely more influenced by what the pope says. Which I couldn't imagine as a good thing. If I remember correctly there were a few Danish princess up for grabs, which I thought might be useful if you (we) decide that the Danes would prosper more under (y)our drunken rule...or (y)our heirs rule.

I'd say go for a bit of Danish Pastry (If it gives us (you) good terms that is). Fabricate the claims and ready the dogs of war.

Edit: Also, it's really shit that it happened after two really nice updates from yourself.

[n0z3k1ll3r]

Yeah, the update loss sucks :(

I'd say to marry the Danish Princess personally.

[Kirjava]

Awwwww fuck, I spent absolutely ages on those too :( Stupid hackers. I might do a recap post with less screenshots. Explain things like the Council and Technology as we come to them. Yes, that's what I'll do. It'll be up later today.

[n0z3k1ll3r]

Do you have the screenshots uploaded still?

[Methuselath]

Heh, I would love your explanation on technology. Its one of those things that baffled me; the only thing I know is that higher tech moar buildings.

[Kirjava]

I've still got all the screenshots- they're on my Photobucket account. And in that case Meth, I shall endeavour to explain as much as I understand!

[Skullcap]

Shouldn't google have a cache of the page? They normally have it for sites which have closed and things like that.

[Kirjava]

Google last cached the page on the 14th unfortunately, and my updates were yesterday. Good idea though, shame it didn't work!

Edit: Photobucket is down for maintenance as well. Sigh, the internet is conspiring to ensure this doesn't happen!

[Kirjava]

Ok, take two. Fuck you, hackers. There were two posts full of stuff about how the game works and preliminary information, but frankly it took me hours to do and I don't fancy typing it out all over again, so instead I'll just give some cursory starting info here and we'll deal with the intricacies of the game as and when we come to them. Got a question? Fire away, and I'll cover it in the next update.

ONWARDS!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_21-1.jpg
Behold: Europe in 1066, our starting date. This is the map we'll be playing on. Quick summary, clockwise from the top left corner: our character, the government tabs (L-R: Council, Law, Technology, Military, Intrigue, Diplomacy, Religion, Characters), notifications, realm stats (L-R: gold, prestige, piety, demesne size, realm holdings, score), messages (high importance, low importance), realm information (it's tucked away by default but we can get it out if we need to), and in the bottom right hand corner we have the minimap and all the options for how to shade the map (Terrain, Culture, Religion, Revolt Risk, etc). It's currently set to Independent Realms, so right now we're looking at all the primary movers and shakers for Europe, North Africa and the Middle East.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_22-1.jpg
Sweden, the kingdom we're a part of. Her main exports: herring, grim and unrelenting crime dramas and, soon (hopefully), a benevolent and alcohol-based form of rule for its less-enlightened neighbours! The powerful Kingdom of Norway lies to the west, the Kingdom of Denmark is to the southwest and there are independent realms in the north. Across the Baltic to the east lie a patchwork collection of pagan states, and across the water to the south there's a stretch of pagans before we come to the territory of the juggernaut that is the Holy Roman Empire.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_23-1.jpg
Meet Güddrinkör Sääjuk, Duke of Östergötland. He's custom-built to be interesting but not without a prayer of success. All characters have five visible stats and two invisible ones- the visible ones are the numbers you can see on the right of the character screen (Diplomacy, Martial, Stewardship, Intrigue and Learning). The invisible ones are Health and Fertility. Below the stats we have Güddrinkör's traits, which affect his stats and tell us what sort of guy he is. There's his primary trait (all characters acquire one at 16)- Güddrinkör is a Tough Soldier. After that, we have the rest of his traits: he's Attractive, a Hedonist, Lustful, Zealous and a Drunkard. All in all, a fierce warrior in the name of the Christian faith, but his status with the Church is somewhat undermined by his frequent sleeping around, and his ability to govern is somewhat undermined by his frequent nights out on the lash.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_21-2.jpg
This is our realm: the Duchy of Östergötland. Note the change in highlights on the map: we've switched to Direct Vassals view so we can see which lands we own personally. Also note the area ringed by yellow. This is the de jure Duchy of Östergötland- ie, the duchy according to the law. Unfortunately we only own two of those counties. The third is owned by the King, Stenkil I (as a custom character, we have no family- bizarrely this includes parents and grandparents- so our liege lord is also our heir), who also owns land to the south of us. We'd better not get on his bad side- he could crush us if he chose. We must take action to secure our position! This will take two forms: finding a wife and expanding our territory.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_27-2.jpg
Step 1: get married. While Güddrinkör, lusty, hedonistic and inebriated as he is, is highly unreceptive to the notion of monogamy, his council have prevailed upon him to choose a spouse so that the House of Sääjuk might continue (Güddrinkör was persuaded by the 2am mead-fuelled argument that he needed a son to teach the ancient family art of goat-throwing).

There are two ways to find a wife: go hunting in the Characters tab or let the computer look up the most suitable wenches via the 'get married' symbol (the two wedding rings next to our character's portrait). I've gone with the latter, since it's easier. The primary candidate is the Duchess of Tuscany. She's lusty and powerful, so would almost definitely give us a son, prestige and powerful territory in the next generation. However, it would leave us with lands that would prove very hard to defend, and involve us in the Holy Roman Empire's politics, a potentially very bad thing. Our main choice is this: does Güddrinkör chose a lady of good Scandinavian stock who can keep up with his drinking, or does he marry someone from Italy, Spain or Hungary? Of the Norse candidates, there are two Danes- Gro and Sigrid- who are two of many children of the King of Denmark. Ingegerd, despite sounding like something Güddrinkör might slur after a hard night's getting hammered, is the eldest daughter of King Harald Hardrada of Norway- could be good.

Anyway, I'll leave the decision to you!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_24-2.jpg
As for expansion, our options are limited. Though the vassals of the King of Sweden (which includes us) are largely free to go about their business even if it includes murdering their neighbours, our neighbours are much stronger than us, leaving us only a couple of immediate options for expansion that involve using our Chancellor to fabricate claims. This could take a while- it's expressed as a percentage chance per year. Could take six months, could take twenty years. Anyway, this is our first option: the island of Gotland.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_25-2.jpg
This is our second option: the county of Varmland.

If we're lucky we might get both! I'll leave it a day, maybe two, see what people think and then we'll get playing! Again.

[Busby]

Forming an Alliance with Denmark or Norway would be good. I'd suggest Denmark as Norway is busy getting its arsed kicked by Harold and Denmark's king doesn't suffer from as many rebellions as Norway does and is therefore the better ally. Marrying the Duchess of Tuscany is tempting, but pissing off the HRE is suicide. However, the Emperor has a unmarried bastard daughter who can give you an alliance with the HRE and its doomstacks, just be warned that it likes to have civil wars more often then Norway.

[Aerozap]

I lost a fairly detailed post in the hack/backup affair, unfortunately, but I'll quickly summarize what I said.

I'd stay away from Tuscany and involvement in HRE politics for now. Sigrid, Princess of Denmark, looks like a good choice for marriage, for the same reason that Busby indicated. You might even be able to breed in a claim on Denmark for the future. And Gotland seems to be the best choice for your first target, although Varmland is fine as well. Which has the weaker garrisons and levies? Whichever does should be your first target for some good ol' fabrication action.

[Kirjava]

Last time, we met Güddrinkör Sääjuk, had a look around our realm and decided to get married and invade Gotland. Let's see how that worked out!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_21-3.jpg
We humbly and respectfully request King Svend of Denmark for his daughter's hand in marriage walk into the Danish court and announce that we fancy a bit of Sigrid. The Danish king sees the worth of having a marriage alliance with a Swedish duke and is cool with it. Marrying the daughter of a king and a lady of the Ylving family nets us a tasty 23 Prestige.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_22-3.jpg
We will not have our council sitting idle while we do the hard work of drinking bränvinn and marrying princesses! They are summarily dispatched across the land to earn their keep. Three remain in Östergötland- the Marshal, Chaplain and the Steward go to help research their respective technologies, military cultural and economic. Their presence in our main county increases the chances of our technology level developing in that county. Meanwhile, our Spymaster travels to the Swedish king's territory to study their technology and, shall we say, borrow a few notes.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_23-3.jpg
Chancellor Sigtrygg, after being shouted at by Güddrinkör for having a stupid name, is sent to the island of Gotland that we've had our eye on. His Diplomacy stat of 18 gives him a 17.49% chance per year of successfully fabricating a claim on the county. There's also a smaller percentage chance that something bad happens, in this case thoroughly enraging the noble who rules Gotland. Every councillor mission has a potential negative outcome to it- the chances are usually not something to worry about though. Certainly, Güddrinkör will not be overly worried about the Count of Gotland being cross with him when he means to disinherit him!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_29-2.jpg
Since the Marshal, Steward and Chaplain are researching technology, this seems like a good place to talk about it. We have three different areas of tech we can research: Military, Economic and Cultural. Several things can boost the research rates, but primarily they're based on your ruler's Learning stat, so you'll understand if we don't become a hub of culture and education under Güddrinkör. Improvements in a category give you bonuses in that area, so levelling up in Bows gives more powerful archers. Levelling up in Farming gives you more income from Castles. Levelling up in Popular Customs means your vassals in charge of cities like you more. And so on.

You can set one focus in each category. This speeds up your research rate as well, and what you focus on depends on your priorities. Here, we're going to focus on Tactics, Farming and Legalism. Tactics improves the morale of our armies, which means they won't rout as easily and will make them more dangerous in combat. Farming, as above, will give us more money from Castles. Since we can't directly own Cities or Temples as holdings (well, we can, but we don't get the full benefit from them) and will be giving them to vassals, it's more important, at this early stage anyway, to be squeezing more cash out of our Castle holdings. Legalism helps reconcile vassals to new rulers, decreasing the negative opinion penalty having a short rule will impose- this will give our subsequent rulers an easier time of it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_24-3.jpg
The King of Denmark publicly agrees to his daughter marrying Güddrinkör! Hurrah! We have the option of either making the realm cough up to pay for our wedding or doing it ourselves for a prestige bonus. The gold we'd get is negligible at this point so we'll take the prestige, thank you very much. Young Sigrid arrives at our court and... well, gets to work.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_25-3.jpg
Over to the west, the county of Dal wisely chooses to become a vassal of the King of Sweden rather than be utterly crushed in a pointless war. Another independent vassal for us to nab later on maybe...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_26-3.jpg
With a minor success under his belt, our liege has decided he clearly isn't pleased with vassals running all over the place doing their own thing and announces his intention of raising Crown Authority.

Now's a good time to mention a realm's laws (the second tab along from the left at the top of the screen). A kingdom has five levels of Crown Authority (CA): Autonomous Vassals, Low, Medium, High and Absolute. The higher CA gets, the more troops the ruler can summon from his vassals and the less freedom vassals have- and the unhappier the vassals become. Under Medium CA or above, we won't be allowed to wage war against our fellow vassals and will have to either revolt against our liege or go to war against foreigners. Fortunately, rulers can only change CA once per reign, so at the very worst we have until the next king's reign to nab our neighbours' territory. We ignore him anyway, in an attempt to stall the process.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_27-3.jpg
The Kingdom of Sweden is also elective. Isn't that nice? We could nominate ourselves if we wanted... though for the moment we don't want to get on the wrong side of the establishment any more than we already have, so we nominate the current king's son.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_30-2.jpg
We hear stories of levies being raised to the south in our father-in-law's court. Sure enough, the King of Denmark and his ally the King of Poland have decided to hammer the pagans in Livonia. Something to keep an eye on.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_33.jpg
King Stenkil of Sweden decides he wants Livonia for his own and starts his own war! The Livonians are pagans, which means Christians get automatic casus bellis and thus makes pagans a juicy target for expansion in the early game. We wouldn't be interested, but since we're Stenkil's vassal, he raises our levies and takes Güddrinkör and our men off on a jolly across the Baltic! Güddrinkör relishes the opportunity to chop up some pagans, but is equally frustrated by the brakes being put on his plans to acquire Gotland...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_35.jpg
Good, goooood. Our Spymaster reports that he has "just happened to come across" some designs for more effective heavy armour. Our soldiers get better defense and we promise Finn Rosenstrale a fine bottle of brännvin when he returns.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_37.jpg
Ruh roh! A Livonian army of 337 men has crossed the Baltic to take the fight to the Swedish king. God only knows where they found the troops given that they're at war with three kingdoms, but the fact is they're next door and they're our enemies. We have a chance to curry some favour with our liege and relieve his capital.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_39.jpg
Our loyal men Öystein and Peder lead 412 men across the border...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_41.jpg
...to victory! The Battle of Gripsholm sees the Livonians defeated with heavy casualties, though what is left of their army retreats north. We pursue...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_43.jpg
...and defeat them again. As n0z3 mentioned in his Europa Universalis 3 Let's Play, combat in Paradox games like this results in a sort of 'ping pong' effect: the defeated army retreats to a province and must be pursued, several battles being fought in a number of different counties before they're utterly crushed. We chase the Livonians back and forth between Gripsholm and Hatuna for quite a while, but eventually all the Livonians are dead, captured or scattered.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_42.jpg
In none-war news, the thought of getting to fight pagans clearly meant Güdrinkör was frisky before he left with his soldiers. Sigrid is preggers with our first child!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_50.jpg
Caught red-handed! Oh dear. Turns out the Poles and the Danes beat the Livonians before the Swedes could. Robbed of his conquest, Stenkil is clearly on the lookout for someone to take his anger out on, and our poor Spymaster was that man. He is arrested and thrown into the dungeons, while the king we were so hoping to stay on the good side of is more than a bit cross with us.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_53.jpg
A son is born! Praise be to God. We name him Güdchükkä in honour of all the goats he will surely throw.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_56.jpg
Hmmm. In spite of that whole "throwing your Spymaster in prison" thing (we recruited a new one and the old one died in jail, unfortunately), Stenkil recognises our services in ending the siege of Gripsholm by making Güddrinkör the Seneschal of Sweden (rulers have a list of honourary titles they can bestow on vassals to improve opinion- kings get an extra four on top of dukes, and Seneschal is one of them). If only Güddrinkör was the administrative type! As it is, he takes the extra money he gets for the role, buys a big barrel of beer and pawns most of the responsibilities off on his underlings.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v442/LordSkiba/Lets%20Play%20Crusader%20Kings%202/ck2_55.jpg
This feels like a good time to visit the Intrigue tab. Our ruler can choose an Ambition. This can be anything from having a son to acquiring our liege's kingdom, and bizarrely always includes the option to plot to kill your wife. Since Sigrid is doing perfectly well on the children front so far, we will refrain from murdering her in her sleep and instead Güddrinkör decides he wants to become Marshal of Sweden. This will require getting on the good side of the king, so no more "borrowing" design schematics I guess!

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Easier said that done, admittedly. Here you can see how the game breaks down how characters feel about each other. Güddrinkör and Stenkil don't think highly of each other. In Güddrinkör's case, he's happy about being made Seneschal, content with his status as an autonomous vassal and cool about elective monarchy. This is more than balanced out by the fact that he's furious about his Spymaster being thrown in jail, disapproving of Stenkil's slothful ways and should legally own the county of Södermanland.

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Success! Sigtrygg the Implausibly Named Chancellor sends word that through some particularly diligent lying and forgery he has made it totally look like we have a claim to Gotland. Going through with this costs us gold and prestige, but we want that island, by God!

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The game reminds us not to get cocky, and our son Güdchükkä promptly catches Typhus.

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The Holy Roman Empire announces that it is getting medieval on Mecklenberg via its army of thousands and thousands of men. Mental note: don't piss those guys off.

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Our wife is prenant again! Cause for a drink, surely (our son has recovered from Typhus too, as if we needed another excuse)?

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With a claim on Gotland, one son born and another child on the way, we start thinking about the impending expansion of our realm. We'll need more soldiers, for sure, and short of getting more counties, we can either a) hire mercenaries, b) train more troops with the Marshal or c) get buildings that increase our levy sizes. That's what we go for here, building mighty Wooden Palisades in both of our castles. The palisades are the first in the line of buildings that increase the size of the holding they're built for- this first improvement increases the levy size by 2.5%, boosts tax income by 0.2 and strengthens the holding defences. Done in a year, you say? Worth a drink!

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With our old Spymaster having schemed his last from the dungeons of King Stenkil, our new one is more circumspect and goes to work building a spy network in Östergötland. Anxious not to be seen as a threat to Stenkil, Güddrinkör sends Chancellor Sigtrygg to Södermanland to improve diplomatic relations with the king.

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With King Stenkil joining in with the ganking of Mecklenburg and having raised our levies again, Güddrinkör takes advantage of being drunk to say that Stenkil probably owes him some money for all the fierce and inebriated Swedish soldiers he's sending to fight his wars. For some reason Stenkil agrees and gives us 30 gold. Result!

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A daughter is born to us! Little Büggö is the apple of her slurring father's eye, when he can focus it on her.

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That's great Sigtrygg, but we sent you to make the King like us, not the Mayor of Bumfuck-Nowhere.

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Oooh, a feast! Güddrinkör gets to do what he does best: plot and scheme over dinner. Nah, I'm kidding- he gets to get absolutely balconied.

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The feast has a very sexy dessert.

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The Wooden Palisades are done, and we have enough gold to upgrade the one in Östergötland to a Low Stone Wall for more levy size, tax and defence bonuses. It'll take a year and a half. When that's done, it ought to be time for war!

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After giving us two kids, Sigrid probably deserves us to at least listen to her diplomatic advice. Güddrinkör becomes Content, which doesn't really fit, but we'll rationalise it as him being content with the situation at home rather than abroad, shall we?

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Woof woof.

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Woof woof! Those Lustful and Hedonist traits are really starting to show :D

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Excellent, Marshal Arnbjörn! An extra mug of brännvin for you! Perhaps we can go to war sooner?

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Damn. In spite of our stubborn refusal to play along, King Stenkil has successfully raised CA. His successor will be able to raise it to the point that we can't make our own wars! We'd better get fighting...

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...but before we do that, happy day and glory to God! Sigrid is pregnant once again. Go Güddrinkör, you stud.

And that's all for now! It's been five years, we're almost ready to go to war and we have two (soon to be three) children. Things seem to be shoring up with the King and once we have acquired Gotland, there are a couple of other vulnerable targets to beat up. We need to give some thought to educating our children- beyond obviously being excellent at goat-throwing, what does Güdchükkä need to specialise in?- and we have a daughter we can betroth to someone. The House of Sääjük will spread!

[sporty]

Sigtrygg is an awesome name, while yours feature decidedly too many Üs ;)

[n0z3k1ll3r]

Nice work tapping Dat Wife. And Dat Mistress.

[Aerozap]

Unfortunate minor setbacks like your first Chancellor being imprisoned and the King managing to pass Limited Crown Authority laws aside, things seem to be going well. I'm hoping to see a successful invasion of Gotland in the next update.

As for the aptly named Güdchükkä, I don't think there is anyone better in your court to tutor him than his father. Güddrinkör can surely spare a few moments between getting his wife pregnant, visiting his mistress, and drinking to teach him a thing or two about those very activities.

[Kirjava]

Another minor setback: I've lost access to the PC I was playing that game on. It's only temporary- for a month- but I'm doing a course over August so it'll probably be better not to do much gaming. Long story short: Let's Play Crusader Kings 2 will be back in September! And I had just finished playing the next session... if it serves to wet the appetite a bit, things get very interesting re: Swedish royal elections...

[Nurizeko]

I quite enjoyed that update, it had vikings, boozing, feasting, fucking, intrigue, dungeons and some battles (minor).

It's like Game of Thrones but with some characters that may just not be expendable.

*Drinks to Güdchükkä's future dominion over the realms of man*