(99) Ammunition was converted to leaflets that rained from the sky and made even the toughest of soldiers retreat.
(99) Ammunition was converted to leaflets that rained from the sky and made even the toughest of soldiers retreat.
100) the StuH 42's 105mm shell cannot hurt tanks.
101) Fuel is never in shortage in the later part of the war/battle.
102) When American tank commanders saw two twisting arrows above their head, they encouraged Axis AT to kill them.
103) Sturmhaubitzen could not shoot over hedgerows, despite being a howitzer.
104) Retreading all day doest low your morale or makes your commanders angry.
105) No soldier in WW2 had any kind of combat morale, seeing all your squad members blown into pieces all the time doest effect your orders to go on fighting like nothing happened
106) German tanks are sportsmen enough to have reduced fire power and armour to be more balanced with the allied ones.
Last edited by SeniorDingDong; 23rd Mar 08 at 9:24 AM.
1vs1 WM lvl 8 | 1vs1 PE lvl 8 | 1vs1 UK lvl 8 | 1vs1 US lvl 8
2vs2 WM lvl 8 | 2vs2 PE lvl 8 | 2vs2 UK lvl 8 | 2vs2 US lvl 8
107. Axis and Allied forces buffed / nerfed their units in order to have a fair fight.
108. Axis and Allied HQs were located only a a couple 100 metres away from each other.
109. If you constantly ordered a unit around, they would swear at you regardless of the fact that you were their superior.
110. Stugs were fitted with a gun that was best used for taking down hedgerows.
111) By carrying a differing number of dead men into a hut, WW2 medics were well-trained enough to be able to melt the organic material into a brand new squad. In order to get this hut, you had to sacrifice 180 Americans, 150 Germans or 115 British. For the latter two you also had to pour on a small amount of gasoline.
Last edited by Synthmon; 23rd Mar 08 at 9:46 AM.
107) V1s could hit a target with extream accuracy and be called up on a moments notice.
108) Gliders emit a high eletric current through their skin right before the door opens killing any one unfortunate to touch it.
109) Panzergrenadiers where issued More panzershrecks than rifles.
110) Tank buster Grenadiers where never trained on how to use Panzerfausts, dispite having one strapped to their back.
111) Motor teams and weapon crews can not withstand being alone. if left alone, most crews will commit suicide.
112) Flamethrowers have an endless resevour of fuel to fire.
113) when in the presence of the enemy, all forms of long range arty's magicaly have their maximum range is drasticaly reduced, often not being able to shoot beyond 300 yards away.
114) gliders where piloted by expert ace airmen able to land limited control cloth and wood glider with near pin point accuracy any where on the battlefield.... blind folded.
115) Commandos had magic smoke canisters that made them instantly invisible to anyone, even when they left the actual smoke screen.
116) In a testement to their bravery, Engineers always stood on the wrong side of the barbed wire.
117) No matter how many times you clicked them, Sappers will always refuse to take of their clothes.
118) Tank commanders had the same voice as the rest of all the other tanks which were the same type.
119) When giving bullets, Rangers automatically grab for their pocket size Thompson
120) You need to pay fuel in order to get grenades
121) Same thing with B.A.R and Sticky nades
122) German WW2 Grenadiers liked to wear white clownsuites
123) Soldiers can look through houses and hedgerows
124) Helmets of WW2 soldiers were glued onto their head
125) Paratroopers are dropped from invisible C47's
126) Smoke grenades on tanks except the Sherman are useless, but you aren't cool if you haven't got them
127) Units never run out of ammo
128) The Germans were too poor to buy paint, thats why their tanks were grey.
"Not a day goes by, that I don't think of the men I served with, who never got to enjoy the world without war." Major Richard Dick Winters.
129) All Allied tank drivers were actually Nascar champions... always going in circles
130) British soldiers were lazy and did not move unless there was an Lt around to force them to.
131) When Engineers are constructing tank traps they are already there and finished. They just like to slow you down.
132) WW2 armies existed of clones. Every soldier looked exactly the same.
133) WW2 soldiers talked so loud, that you could hear them clearly even when you are looking down on them 300 feet up in the sky.
When they get sniped it falls off.124) Helmets of WW2 soldiers were glued onto their head
Look at the faces, not the uniforms.132) WW2 armies existed of clones. Every soldier looked exactly the same.
134) Germans would make themselves Zoot Suits if they had the material.
135) WW2 had better servers than we now have in the present day, because their wins and losses have been counted at last :-/
136) British soldiers only had to stack enough sandbags to let a mortar team appear out of nowhere.
Last edited by SeniorDingDong; 23rd Mar 08 at 11:06 AM.
137) If a 3 man mortar team is only left with 1 man, the last man will lose the will to live and commit suicide
138) Oddly enough, US Army troop polls indicated that there was an epidemic of untied shoelaces within their infantry corps. The man thought to have stared the sweeping trend was known only as "Jesus Conrad", and, through bizarre sets of lucky occurances and random reassignments, he found his way into every rifle squad ever commissioned during the Normandy invasion.
139) American planes were really flying V1 rockets in disguise
140) British lt's and captains are so tough, they can be shot 3 times in the head with a sniper, or 2 tank shells to the chest before they die.
141) Tommies smoke something called "cigafuckingrettes".
142) Snipers use a bullet which contains anti glue stuff. (Is it ok now? )
Last edited by Monkey Soldier; 23rd Mar 08 at 12:21 PM.
143) panzershrecks odly do more damage to emlacements ( mainly 17 pounders) than heavy tanks do.
144) That all vehicles that are even stationary can go out of control and explode..
145) And that war is won by simply raising flags.
146) Even a blind monkey/ donkey would hit its target faster then most soldiers in CoH.
Last edited by Monkey Soldier; 8th Jun 08 at 10:43 AM.
146) During war, there's a little bar and icon over your head telling you how much life you have left until you die, and how many men are left in your squad
147) Somebody's got a really good scam going on with fuel & ammo.
147) If airborne or commando divisions were operating, then planes and gliders flew circles around the battlefield to drop troops, mortars, mgs, at guns, ammo boxes, fuel canisters, strafing runs at a moments notice with precise perfect accuracy.
148) Only if given ammo will paratroopers decide that they can throw their satchel charge.
149) Mausers fired by volks were .22 caliber while the mausers fired by the more experienced grendadiers were outfitted with 7.92 mm ammo.
150) Firing light machine guns for both the british and wehrmacht from the bipod was for "pussies", so firing from the hip was advised to be cool.
The Force Commander and I even visit the same barber, although I have a slightly better taste. Hair gel on calderas, how'd he swing that?
Out of context American Psycho quotes- American Psycho
Dow 2 - Judgem3nt Day 7
In CoH- 2246
151) Every Allied solder fears paper cuts!
152) In the war all the supplys your squad needed whether it was amunition or fuel was found in unlimited supplys at a large flagstand in the middle of a battlefield.
153) Haystacks provide as much cover as sandbags, due to being reinforced with clear titanium and plasma shields (the same ones used in trenches).
154) all WWII infantry could hit the GTFO button if they are in trouble
155) British regulars are tougher than German regulars
156) Only American regular army carried radios
157) Gilders really have more troops in them, they just dont want to come out at once.
158) Snipers are already located in buildings before they even started to shoot or show up in a window.
Wow i love this thread.
137) If a 3 man mortar team is only left with 1 man, the last man will lose the will to live and commit suicide (Stealth150)
You forgot to add the AT Guns.
159) With only sandbags, you can build a factory, a barracks, etc, ( plz notify me if someone already posted this, im kinda lazy to read 137 more things)
160) Hitler gave the command to control his army to noobs. Same with US, but the US Army couldnt find a good commander so they hired a gamer in WWII. (mmmhmm i like to build a jeep divison whom can crush Ger tanks with mgs and when they blow off they dont know how to jump out of the car)
160) All British casualty clearing stations teach "How to speak and act British" incase they happen to rescue any american soldiers so they could be sent out as British Infantry Sections.
161) American medic stations had "How to be American" lessons for pretty much the same thing.
162) There's a full squad of Fallschirmjägers hiding in every PE infantry halftrack.
Could/Should/Would HAVE. A verb. Not an adposition.
163) WWII generals didn't want the battlefield to get too crowded so they set a limit on how many people could get involved
164) Anyone commanding a greyhound finds everything hilarious! "Heh heh, come on they're right there!"
165a) Wermacht stoped using Medic stations after the 1st time they heard Funniest Joke in The World instead they used medkits.
165b) The Funniest Joke in The World was changed into 105mm rounds. To make WWII fair of course.
166) Mines will never blow up while triggered by friendly troops. Never.
167) Panzer IV support tank, Hummel and Marader lacked crew. When they fired driver had to act as gunner or loader, I always wondered did he get double paid.
168) Fighting for 4 Fuel barrels was worth it. Even if the price was soldier's life.
169) Term "ambush" was unknown to most of WWII troops. Only some troops were aware of that term.
Last edited by Grav; 23rd Mar 08 at 5:23 PM.
170) British where highly successful in propaganda warfare. by 1944, they had conditioned axis troops so that they would first try and kill the Sand bags and camo netting of their emplacements at all ranges with all weapons. Dispite the crew of the weapon often being in the open not more than a few feet away from them.
170a) German propaganda had images of tub girl printed on them which where then teleported via red bubble to the battlefield. any troop exposed to the pictures would immediatly run to the HQ to throw up.
170) The hummel has an invisible machine gunner.
171) The british military, unlike their German and American counterparts, never grasped the idea of having a mobile mortar team.
172) MG42's aren't heavy at all.
173) The Churchill Mortar tank (forgot the name) can only fire when given 35 munitions, each shot.
174) You don't need to reload a Nebelwerfer, or a Stukka. In time it will reload itself.
175) A German unit can become a veteran if the right price is paid.
176)Despite having the same chassis, only a crocodile Sherman can be equipped with a bulldozer.
177) One blockade placed in front of a thin bridge will stop any infantry advance.
178) The Volksgrenadier squad leader uses a single shot MP44.
163) The Entire British infantry force was welded together from within massive trucks.
164) British officers could make their troops sprint through machine gun fire and make their weapons become twice as effective just by yelling "CHARGE!" unfortunatly due to a lack of throat sweets they could only do this once a minute or so.
165) The British army had a fleet of gliders constantly circling the third reich so that if an artilliary piece went off anywhere they could instantly drop commandos on it.
I'm British, I was looking forward to OF for the British faction. But.......... they are a friggin travesty and they need to be wiped from the pages of history.
179) Fallshirmjager were so combat effective that in order to have a fair fight they decided to equip themselves with high speed spud guns, luckily they were such good shots that aiming for the eyes, ears, nose, and throat was no problem.
180) Commandos were actually intended to be guided missiles, used to crush and then kill the enemy with lazer guns disguised as stens
EDIT: I forgot to mention Commandos are actually ninjas in disguise ...
Last edited by shadowolfe; 23rd Mar 08 at 4:31 PM.
181a) Actually British LMG "Bren" had uranium filled bullets capable of destroying Halftraks easily
181b) Also "Bren" was capable of slowing down heaviest tanks even if the tank was turned back to the soldier firing "Bren"
Winning one for the Gipper was just an unsubstantiated urban myth; no one really knew who the fuck he was.
As the last surviving member of your HMG squad; it was considered the last great act of defiance, not to mention way cool bad-ass; to stand at your gun and flip off the charging enemy blob.
Give a Commando an inch and he'll shag yer mum, nick yer cigarfuckingrettes, and scratch yer paint job. The rotten bastids!
182) In WW2, the British could immobilize 70 ton armoured vehicles by spraying the hull with small arms fire.
183) The Waffen SS had far more fuel than it could ever hope to use, and had far more vehicles than the American and British armies put together at any point in the war.
184) The British strategy for total victory in WW2 amounted to hiding behind bags of sand until the enemy was defeated by its own advanced age.
185) The brits risked their HQ trucks by sending them into the field of battle so that they can recieve more ammunition and fuel
186.) The only good Nazi is a burnt Nazi.
My god chap that's brilliant!186.) The only good Nazi is a burnt Nazi.
187) Contrary to popular belief hiding behind a bush will give you cover. However, walking across a street will make bullets more attracted to you.
188) It is possible to use welding torches to repair concrete bunkers
189) While the Wehrmacht thought they were cool for giving their soldiers medical kits that could mend any wound (for a few bullets, of course), the Americans one-upped them by creating a medical station that gave everyone nearby the regeneration of Wolverine.
190) A Greyhound's .30 cal gunner was effectively immortal unless he was hit by a mortar shell.
191) Snipers forget their skills of stealth when entering a building or when approaching fast moving light vehicles.
192) The Allies and Axis powers were very particular when choosing an HQ site. They must be two-story townhouses, have all the proper electrical hookups, and despite their lumber construction, must be able to withstand at least 30 tank shells. Fortunately, there were many of these houses in northern France during WW2.
193) The machine gunners inside of American MG emplacements were a rare breed of psychopath. Not only would they never abandon their post (no matter the odds against them) and they would expend huge amounts of ammunition firing into the dirt. However, not to be outdone, British MG gunners did the same as their Allied counterparts but also refused to aim in any other direction, even when their tent/bunker/fortress afforded them the opportunity.
194) that vickers and other MG emplacements could send soldiers falling to the ground in the open battlefield (no point is there,)
195) That Kings Tigers and Jagdpanthers took 10s of other tanks to take down.
196) That British tanks and HQ trucks can move even when they're hulled down or put to ground.
197) That bullets can destroy sandbags
198) That no'one has tried to just kick the sandbags down
199.) American "pineapple" grenades could be thrown farther and more accurately than German potatomashers.
200.) Knights Cross Holders ate twice as much food as the average soldier.
201.) Jeep and bike drivers had the best eyesight of anyone in the war.
202.) Snipers could shoot targets they couldn't see so long as someone spotted for them.
203.) The Panzer Elite was an actual branch of the German military.
204.) The Panzer Elite didn't use many panzers.
205.) While you move slower, you can still fight when using a medical kit.
206.) British medics wouldn't heal soldiers unless bribed with munitions. The Americans healed for free though.
207.) Piats suck.
208.) If you manned an MG on a tank you could take several hundred rounds to the head and live, however British tank commanders were immortal.
209.) Churchill Crocodiles didn't need to tow around a trailer full of flamethrower fuel, they just did that to look cool in pictures.
210.) I can see for miiiiillleess up here!
211.) German camouflage technology was years ahead of the allies. They could hide AT guns and tanks while the Americans could only camo snipers.
212.) Mines are always laid three at a time.
213.) Snipers in churches fire faster.
214.) A little gas, a little spark, and BOOM! Instant Barbecue!
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