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354) In WW2 gravity was much higher than now, reducing the effective range of tank cannons to below 50m. Also, the increased weight of the handheld weapons meant, that moving them quickly as to hit an enemy at point blank range, was almost impossible.
Special anti-grav bullets were invented by the brits, but only given to the officers.
355) volksgrenadiers always wore hats instead of helmets.
Gamers don't die, they go to the next level
Ok, I actually read all eleven pages and I tried not to repeat any rules...
356) Occasionally, Panzer Grenadiers will adopt a British accent and refer to their commander as “govn’r”
357) People whining on an internet forum can cause your range/damage/armor/abilities to be reduced or increased regardless of reality.
358) When PE’s are around, everything they control should be considered booby-trapped.
359) In WW2, 17 pounders and 40mm bofors would spring up all over the battlefield if you let them.
360) Kettenkraftrads could become invisible, even while moving.
361) Engineers can lay miles of barbed wire and tank traps. They carry it with them always and it’s all FREE.
And just for kicks, these quoted rules from earlier posts are full of win:
63) Dead animals give you yellow cover
47) You can decide to buy a V1 rocket for the same price as 2 panzershrecks
24) A man's flammability is directly proportionate to his heroism.
86. Halftracks are clown cars filled with whole divisions.
97) British gliders have entire divisions stored in them, waiting for you to lure them out with money.
107. Axis and Allied forces buffed / nerfed their units in order to have a fair fight.
116) In a testement to their bravery, Engineers always stood on the wrong side of the barbed wire.
212.) Mines are always laid three at a time.
296) Territory could be captured by the cunning use of flags.
362. If a Wehrmacht soldier earned a Knight's Cross, he was promptly given a black dress uniform and a Sturmgewehr 44, and put in a squad with two other men who also had earned Knight's crosses.
363. The Webley Mk. VI Revolver had a greater effective range than any sniper rifle available at the time.
364. A Vickers machine gun nest requires two ghosts to operate.
365. Leaving fuel barrels lying around your defensive emplacements is a good idea.
366. The Royal Engineers had special equipment on their tanks that allowed them to sink into the ground and spontaneously generate sandbags.
377. Troops were unable to scale fences, even those built like short ladders.
378. Soldiers never smoked on the battlefield.
379. A Sniper had to sing his national anthem backwards before taking each shot, if they got it wrong, they would start over.
380. Running men are easy targets for snipers, retreating targets deployed decoy dummies to ensure the sniper would miss each shot.
381. Retreating forces can't be bothered with lifting their guns and firing at the enemy even when they have to run right through them.
382. Huge masses of opposing retreating "blobs" will run right through one another without inflicting any casualties to the each other (see #381) apparently having decided it's just not appropriate etiquette to fire one's weapon while in full retreat.
383. Light vehicle drivers for all sides displayed expected competence in most situations, but were at a loss as to how they should cope with accidentally hitting a building.
384. For some reason, the Semois area was always subject to severe thunderstorms.
385. British infantry worshiped the rank of Lieutenant: they could only get motivated when one was around.
386 Royal Engineers could repair a tank to better state then it was when it first rolled off the assembly line. This is only due to the fact that they are Scottish and pwn.
#159
387. Apparently the British High Command produced copius amounts of Grenades, Bullets and HE Artillery shells, but lacked such foresight when it came to personal Anti-itch creams.
388.
-"Wait it can be Booby trapped"
-"I love boobies"
-"You got point mate"
#161
389) The (Panzer Elite) Gewehr 43 could magically slow down enemy infantry without dealing any damage.
390) artillery can kill people quite a distance away from it, but if you jump right were its going to hit a second before it does, you may get lucky...
392: Apparently Bob's my Uncle. (Yeah, I know, it's a commonwealth thing.)
394: V1's were often used to take out MG Nests and Defensive Emplacements, but rarely worked.
395: Before Panzer Grenadiers learned to Sprint, they needed to learn how to repair better, how to use Anti-Tank grenades, how to capture things faster, how to work better as a team (Zeal), they needed a 4th guy in their squad (Increase Squads), and they needed a Sargeant with them. Then they could sprint.
395a: If British troops learned all of the above, they wouldn't of been so damn slow.
396: Commanders got mad when their stats weren't updated after a battle.
397: Bergetigers could ressurect completely destroyed Tanks in a few minutes on the battlefield.
398: Jagdpanthers had a crew of 12.
399: The guy on the Kettenkrad is actually Macgyver, and doesn't believe in carrying a gun.
Last edited by Vestner; 29th Mar 08 at 5:34 AM.
#164
400 (woot): Buildings were made using only shovels. Fucking shovels!
401: You think I like sitting here with these shells?
402: the British LT was glad to be behind that wall
#166
403: If you ever asked a British LT for his opinion, he was rock steady. Always.
404: Thing not found.
405: British trenches were so advanced that infantry in a trench could survive a direct hit from a V1 without a scratch.
EDIT ON #404: The British were able to invent time-travel and engineer new elements never before seen on the periodic table some time in the 1940's: as a result, the British trenches used in WW2 were lined with adamantium and the open areas shielded with the same technology as used on the USS Enterprise from Star Trek. Consequently, a direct V1 strike on any British trench was wasted munitions.
*** (Undecided): I hope you don't mind that I reword it...Just think this has more 'uhmmph'.
406: When God saw that one nation were fighting better or worse than others he made a special list of changes to human-beings from different nations.
407: Panzer Grenadiers LOVES fighting in the rain.
408: ...while PE open top armoured vehichels hates them.
409: Kettenkrad drivers should get the Knights Cross and feature as a shinning example.
(EDIT on numbers): During CoH period people weren't widely educated.
410: STUG commanders didn't know more armour would've been better until it was too late.
411: Armoured cars 20mm gunners are even more of a crack shot while shooting down paratroopers hanging on their parachutes.(Rapid fire bulls eye)
Last edited by Tiger101; 31st Mar 08 at 7:21 PM.
502: Nazis are Eight feet tall.
503: 76.2mm AP shells can bounce off from the Hetzer's 8mm rear armor - 5 times in a row
504: There were acutally common people who served in the german army
Close the worLd, .txEn eht nepO
Only the forgotten are truly dead.
505. Forum users had issues counting409: Kettenkrad drivers should get the Knights Cross and feature as a shinning example.
500: STUG commanders didn't know more armour would've been better until it was too late.
well i'm usure of nummbers here so i figured out were on 415 now
hey lets see if we can make a thousand.
416) british snipers carried no bullets with them and had to be given to them before each shot
417) british snipers needs 25 bullets in order to hit a target
Last edited by tankgunner92; 7th May 08 at 6:45 AM.
418.) British sappers need munitions to hide behind things.
506) the British intelligence staff had their heads completely up their arses during the 2nd world war
420. "There's blood on the door handle" on almost every house the Panzer Grenadiers goes to.
#178
421 since they only invented camo-covers after wwII, PAK crews decided to make the gun simply,dissapear.
422 Nebelwerfers have a long loading time because apparantly the crew has to dig up their ammo.
423 StuG-crews are now unemployed most of the time.
Now thát's a Knight's Cross.
424) The Nazis are not all 8ft tall.
425) One German strategy was to build a medic bunker and then put a Mg team in there just to attract attention to the allies so they could attack their casualties who were in their sickbeds
426) Tanks with no engine move faster than tanks with no tracks
(427) In the midst of battle, if things were not going well, British soldiers would retreat. Then, magically, their emplacements would simply disappear!
428: The Wehrmacht never won a fight in the 2nd world war, they just got defeated by Americans and Brits while they where advancing into german territory. [campaign]
Bla bla bla?
429: The Brits only used Fireflys, they never used vanilla Shermans.
430: Flak 38s could be buttoned.
431: Entire armies patiently waited outside the battlefield for a junior commander in charge of the sector to call them in piecemeal to be destroyed.
432: Machine gun crews aimed to scare enemy troops first, kill them second.
433: The bulk of battles in WW2 were artillery barrages on both sides of a river, usually with all bridges either destroyed or tank trapped.
434: A small minority of battles in WW2 actually made fast progress by avoiding bridges and rivers and dictated whether the war was balanced or not.
435: Coh makes people spend time posting 434 (Four hundred Thirty four) ways that a game sucks rather than finding a better one to play.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suppressive_fire432: Machine gun crews aimed to scare enemy troops first, kill them second.
436: Even back in 1942 the American government was issuing refunds, when a american plane gets shot down and some noob immediatly whines "flak's are OP" they get there muni's back.
437: Observation Posts were only built on top of gasoline or explosives.
438: Hand grenades did not kill a Tommie mortar team occupying a sandbagged area about 5 sq feet.
439: Strafing run had invisible rays that killed the enemy after the initial rounds have hit!
440: For Germans to defeat the US + Brit combo is about the same as the Bigfoot and Lochness urban Legends.
Last edited by Ambient; 24th Apr 08 at 6:15 PM.
Real men play Werhmacht!
440: There are 439 things to bitch about in one videogame.
boasts a healthy stool
441: ^^That guy is funny
442: Tanks can shoot curve-balls!
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
443: Sappers issued with PIATS were one-eyed scotsmen who narrowly excaped their attempts to kill the Loch Ness Monster and after the war ended, they joined as mercenaries for the companies RED and BLU. Unfortunatly they can't shoot big tragets right in front of them while small targets can be hit easily. This was shown couple years later where they annhilated hordes of Russian Heavies, German medics, American soldiers and scouts, the occasional maniac pyro, the enemy demoman, some French spys, and an Austrailian sniper from here and then. (Okay muct've been playing too much TF2).
Last edited by Newbie657; 24th Apr 08 at 8:08 PM.
444: 443 was an epic fail!
445: Germany failed to develop the Super Soldier of Castle Wolfenstein in real life.
446: The Wehrmacht halftrack is actually stronger when facing it's rear machine gun towards the enemy due to a differnce in the mg's name. However the crew tend to point the forward mg more.
447 In WW2 any sergeant in the american forces was talking with an intimidating newyork accent
447: They did however succeed in developing Assault Grenadiers.Originally Posted by The Specialist
445: Germany failed to develop the Super Soldier of Castle Wolfenstein in real life.
448 The Average town in france is only a few blocks in size.
449 The average people who play CoH thinks that all maps ingame is an actual representation of the places where WW2 battles occured.
Copy my image code if you want Japan in a CoH expansion!
BTW, fuck balancing. Give us the Japanese, Russians, Italians and French in CoH, pls awesome Relic team.
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