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The Tale of Hermie, a true American Sherman

  1. #1

    The Tale of Hermie, a true American Sherman

    ***This battle took place in www.europeinruins.com, a persistent MMORTS for CoH. This makes this tale all the all amazing, because the repair rate has been slowed down by 5 times, and only 1 engineer squad can repair at a time.***

    I'm here to tell the tale of Hermie,
    a true American Shermie,
    the little Sherman who could.

    Fresh off the boat at Normandy,
    his paint gleaming new.
    Unscathed by schrek or shell,
    eager to expend his fuel.

    As the sounds of battles raged,
    down to road to Carentan,
    Hermie gunned his engines,
    eager to help the men.

    His company CO smiled sadly,
    at his youthful enthusiasm.
    Unbeknownst to Hermie,
    he was just another tool.

    No upgun,
    no fifty-cal,
    No smoke grenade shells.

    Hermie was just another tank,
    to slow the Axis hordes.
    Another sacrificial lamb,
    to feed the Gods of war.

    And then the order came,
    And Hermie raced off towards battle,
    guns primed and loaded,
    his small cannon eager to spit its shell.

    The flank was broken,
    wounded men streamed on by.
    A platoon of Axis volks pursued,
    eager to shoot goodbye.

    And Hermie charged forth,
    both his machine guns blazing,
    and with a resounding BOOM,
    scattered the volks with his fury.

    The volks began to flee,
    Hermie went on a shooting spree,
    but felt his skin split,
    as a cloaked PAK succeeded in a hit.

    Wounded by 3 straight shots,
    Hermie howled in pain,
    as inexperienced Engineers,
    began to patch him up.

    But time waits for no tank,
    as an Axis Panzer rolled up,
    and began to shoot men up.

    Still bleeding from his wounds,
    Hermie answered the call,
    traded blows with the Beast,
    and once again retreated to be healed.

    And time after time,
    infantry swarmed the line,
    and time after time,
    Hermie held the line.

    A Panzer charged into the fray,
    and began to pound riflemen flat.
    Upon seeing Hermie and a Wolverine,
    began to fall on back.

    Hermie and his companion chased,
    firing shell after shell,
    and even when his companion blew,
    the injured Hermie insisted on sending the Panzer to hell.

    Hermie's small cannon boomed,
    and its shell split the air,
    buried its head into the Panzer,
    and blew it all to hell.

    And Hermie continued to fight,
    refusing to fall off the line.
    Twice more ambushed by PAKs,
    and twice more survived their shells.

    Then a ferocious beast broke through the lines,
    and unleashed its horrible rage,
    upon all that met its gaze.

    Bloodied bone and twisted metal,
    was all it left behind.
    57 mils hurriedly turned around,
    praying not to be found.

    The Beast roared,
    spitting its furious wrath,
    rending flesh from bone,
    and metal from bolts.

    Injured by the stings of 57 mils,
    The beast rounded a corner,
    hidden from their sights.

    And brave little Hermie,
    his health bar nearly spent,
    Bravely rolled on forth,
    And faced the Beast's Maw.

    The Beast turned its turret to track,
    and Hermie sped on by,
    barely avoiding,
    its terribly lethal gaze.

    And Hermie opened fire,
    his round aimed true,
    and split the great Beast open,
    and in all directions its parts flew.

    And still Hermie kept on fighting,
    from the 12th minute to the forty-fifth,
    and only when the battle was won,
    did Hermie bid the field adieu.

    Gentlemen, I present to you Hermie, a true American Sherman.



    He stopped countless infantry rushes, wiped out several cloaked Stormtrooper commandoes, survived 3 PAK ambushes, destroyed 2 Panzer 4s, and sent a Tiger Tank to the scrapyard.

    In 1 game, he went from a fresh, 0 XP, to a vet-2, 150 XP Sherman. (Vet 3 is 250 XP).


    I fully expect him to be blown to scrap in his next battle, but till then, let it be known to the world, the Tale of Hermie, the little Sherman, who could.

  2. #2
    Member ZimZum's Avatar
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    Inspiring.
    boasts a healthy stool

  3. #3
    Member
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    That was worthy of William Rees-McGonagall himself. Well done.

  4. #4
    I want to try out this mod, what do i have to do to join/participate?
    Wehrmacht Officers Are Bad Mother F......!??!?!?!?!
    LtMatt 2v2
    Levels
    Brit 7 >> Wehr 11 >> PE 7 >>

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Member fallen soldier7's Avatar
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    @mattbuck

    you dont have to do anything. just download it, register on their website, and start playing. it's actually quite fun to play too, but i have serious connection issues sometimes, so i can only play when the rest of my family is asleep (unplug router, plug into computer for better connection).

  7. #7
    DorianGrayLLP
    Guest
    What map is that?

  8. Company of Heroes Senior Member  #8
    Senior Member Q77's Avatar
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    Haha, nice post, thumbs up
    Now thát's a Knight's Cross.

  9. #9
    Member keiser88's Avatar
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    dusseldorf
    hordes of axis?
    ASAG

  10. #10
    Really cheesy ballard.

    But it's a good old mod.

  11. #11
    Limming
    Guest
    You sould send this to ToH.

  12. #12
    Member BoDyBaG2224's Avatar
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    Map was Abbeville the most played 3v3 map. Tons of custom maps that look/play great. Great to hear the story of Hermie, I could do one of these with my "throw-away" rifleman that made it from just "fodder" to vet 3 BAR man.

  13. #13
    Tsk tsk BodyBag.

    It's not Abberville.

    It's a 2v2 map, Road to Carentan, which is in the poem as well.

    To make up for your sins, go play more EiR!

  14. #14
    Member fallen soldier7's Avatar
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    yea it looked like road to carentan from the mini-map.

    when i come to think about it, road to carentan would be an extremely boring map to play in vanilla coh. but it does a good job in keeping the action centered in EiR.

  15. #15
    Member lordkosc's Avatar
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    Axis HQ, or at the V2 test site.
    this was cool , i liked it!

  16. #16
    Hermie is really surprised by all the attention he is receiving, it is quite overwhelming to his tweeny mechanical heart. He was only trying to be a good little Sherman.

    Here's a snapshot of Hermie resting in the F.O.B. before his next battle.



    Just to let you know, Hermie has already received proposals from a pink M10 and a not-so-nice vet 3 King Tiger named Hector.

  17. Company of Heroes Senior Member  #17
    Moderator Lethal Dosage's Avatar
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    Bravo! bloody good. I thoroughly enjoyed that, which in itself is quite a surprise.

  18. #18
    I actually wouldn't mind trying out one of the EiR custom maps on vCoH. But I heard that the map makers didn't make the maps playable with vCoH.

  19. #19
    Member fallen soldier7's Avatar
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    there would have to be resource points added to the maps, not to mention that most of the maps have a really detailed center, and everything around the middle is just bare and separated into sectors.

    @mistenth

    nice vet 2 riflesquad in the armor tab ;]

  20. #20
    I regretfully inform the CoH community that Hermie bit the dust as of 10 minutes ago. After 2 more battles where he destroyed 2 more Panzer 4s, a Stug, an Ostwind and Puma, his final act was to engage a StuG pushing a weak flank.

    A cloaked Pak took its first shot, inflicting terrible damage. Hermie popped his smoke dispenser, but despite the smoke, the Pak had a lucky 2nd hit, and Hermie was no more.

    Upon hearing of Hermie's demise, the rest of the company flew into a terrible, murderous rage. M10s rampaged across the map, heedless of their own safety, in 1 instance running down and shooting a fleeing vet 3 axis sniper into gory pieces.

    The villainous Pak that was responsible for Hermie's demise was viciously run down by an avenging squad of riflemen, and caught it just before it could escape the battlefield.

    RiP Hermie

  21. #21
    Everything dies. Even APEX's 1000+ xp King Tiger.

    Maybe.

  22. #22
    Kamitsu
    Guest
    is max vet for this mod still 3?

  23. #23
    Member
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    Yea but it takes many many battles to reach it and most of the vet bonusses differ from vCoH. A sherman requires 250xp to reach vet 3, a panther/tiger/KT requires 500 (which is roughly 50 shermans :P)

  24. #24
    Member ViiKumi's Avatar
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    Finland
    yep... EiR rocks, I've played in the last 2 wars. Even though I'm a noob, and lately haven't played "enough", I still like EiR more than normal CoH, even though EiR has it's faults (vet is too important, axis vet is too crappy)
    you guys suck, each and every one of you.

  25. #25
    That 60% percent turret rotation speed increase in vet 3 is crazy though. I'm sure most terror players in vCoH would wish their KT's could turn their turrets that fast.

    I really have to give credit to the EiR map community. Some maps like Crossroads, Bastion, Abbeville, St.Laurent, etc. are some of the best maps I've played and even better than most relic maps.

  26. #26
    Member Kolath's Avatar
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    @NicholasPatrick, Thanks! We in the EiR mapping team appreciate the praise! (I made Crossroads and Ardenne Valley)

    @GuardsmanYoshi, to be playable in vCoH, most EiR maps would require people to add munitions and fuel resource points and expand base sectors to be large enough to build in.

  27. #27
    Member fallen soldier7's Avatar
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    even though EiR has it's faults (vet is too important, axis vet is too crappy)
    some would say that the grenadier vet far exceeds that of the riflemen vet.

  28. #28
    Forum Farseer Akranadas's Avatar
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    Poor Hermie

  29. #29
    Stealth150
    Guest
    I can't play EiR. I don't exactly know what i need to play the game, as in what version.

    Anyway with this poem, at first i was like TL;DR, but then my mate suggested it so i did read. And i was very pleasantly surprised!

  30. #30
    Member Kolath's Avatar
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    I can't play EiR. I don't exactly know what i need to play the game, as in what version.
    You just need the latest version of CoH fully patched. But you have to have original CoH because the Brits and PE aren't in yet (coming soon!). Then you just follow the instructions and tutorials on www.europeinruins.com and you should be good to go!

  31. #31
    i will miss poor hermie he was the best sherman i ever saw.

  32. General Discussions Senior Member  #32
    Senior Member roflmao's Avatar
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    Hermie shall be in the Company of Heroes hall of fame forever, RIP Hermie :P.

  33. #33
    Member OliverDogg's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    Belgium Flanders
    Just started with eir, although I have not yet played a game, I think i'm gonna like it.

    Can you also play eir games on vcoh maps? In case not, can anyone send me a link where I can download the eir maps?

  34. #34
    Member TeaSeeOh's Avatar
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    You can play vCoH maps with EiR, though obviously they aren't suited from a gameplay standpoint. You can download the EiR maps on their forums in the Map Section, Map Database thread.

    As for Hermie.....I miss my vet 2 Howitzer more(damn not being able to retreat it!). :P

  35. Company of Heroes Senior Member  #35
    Moderator Lethal Dosage's Avatar
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    I cry for Hermie!

    Thats it, my mod'll have a tribute to Hermie in it, so all with remember the brave exploits of poor little Hermie.

  36. #36
    Wow L.D. thank you for helping inscribe the tale of Hermie. He will greatly appreciate it from the great scrapyard in the sky.

    On the flip side, I'm currently raising a 343 XP / 500 XP Vet 2 Pershing. Haven't named him yet. Any ideas for names?

  37. #37
    HERMIE meet stewie (http://www.gamechronicles.com/review...eroes/coh6.jpg )

    one shot bam your gone XD

  38. #38
    Hermie's already dead someboy.

    Hermie already killed a Tiger, so Stewie is just 'meh'.

  39. #39
    Member bottenbreker's Avatar
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    one word: Brilliant

    R.I.P. you old piece of metal
    Gamers don't die, they go to the next level

  40. Forum Subscriber  #40
    Member Supernaut's Avatar
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    Thats awesome, might give that Europe in Ruins mod a look as well.. It intrigues me.

  41. Company of Heroes Senior Member  #41
    Moderator Lethal Dosage's Avatar
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    It's just a pitty there's no way for a singleplayer, i'd love it if it did.

  42. Company of Heroes Senior Member  #42
    Moderator Lethal Dosage's Avatar
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  43. #43
    *Sniff*

    Thank you lethal dosage. Hermie can now rest in peace, for in your mod he will get the chance to be continually blown to pieces game after game.

    In other news, Hermie's big, younger brother has finally accomplished what Hermie originally set out to do.

    # Commander Division Company Unit Name Experience
    1
    APEX
    Waffenschutz Division
    A Company
    King Tiger
    1561

    2
    PztKrieger
    Armored Division
    Lucky Company
    'Calliope' Sherman
    1357

    3
    DrNickEiR
    Infantry Division
    Itsoverninethousand Company
    Howitzer
    964

    4
    Slivin
    Panzer Division
    Abigcock Company
    Panther
    765

    5
    AmPm
    Waffenschutz Division
    Acheron Company
    Panther
    706

    6
    Alcapwned
    Panzer Division
    Kazuntitehitlah Company
    Tiger
    680

    7
    OwlsEatMice
    Armored Division
    Alpha Company
    'Calliope' Sherman
    605

    8
    Awake
    Infanterie Division
    Parasomnia Company
    Panther
    593

    9
    sgMisten
    Armored Division
    Revengeofhermie Company
    Pershing
    566


    10
    Alcapwned
    Panzer Division
    Kazuntitehitlah Company
    Stormtroopers
    559

  44. Company of Heroes Senior Member  #44
    Moderator Lethal Dosage's Avatar
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    Go RevengeOfHermie Company!

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