Homeworld fanfic: The Authadeia

[Sky_walker]

Heya,

I just completed my first fanfic!
One day ago (long ago) Norse told to some newbie that even if he can't draw, write fanfics, make mods - there is no harm in trying. So I thought that after attempts in modding, drawing and making 3D models of Homeworld stuff - I'll write fanfic.

After almost 2 months of writing I'm (somewhat) proud to present...
The Authadeia
click the link to view the story and it.

I chosen wikia so that everyone would be able to edit the story - I'd very appreciate fixing any grammatical errors you'll find. My English isn't perfect, so hopefully if you'll fix some sentences it'll finally be good enough to show it to some native Englishmen

You may post feedback here or on Authadeia Discussion page if you only have wikia account

ps. I'd like to remind it's my first story ever, so don't expect anything superb.

[Sparki]

Looking forward to reading and commenting. I also like the name + the fact of using a frigate <3 frig fic.

On the side note, I am surprised to see a wikia in connection with fanfiction! Am I seeing it right that you can link specific words to sub-pages with explanations like a real wiki page °_° - and that for a fanfic?!

[Sky_walker]

On the side note, I am surprised to see a wikia in connection with fanfiction! Am I seeing it right that you can link specific words to sub-pages with explanations like a real wiki page °_° - and that for a fanfic?!

Yep What is more - you can write fanfic there and link to Homeworld wikia article explaining certain things (as I did with AHL) (the code for that is [[w:c:homeworld:Article you want link to]] ) and that's really cool as people who have no idea about Homeworld will be able to find explanation of everything they don't know

Another cool feature provided by wikia out there is Collaborative writing - many people can write single fanfic. From what I've heard from few guys I know out there - that's the best fun in whole fiction wikia.

Looking forward to reading and commenting. I also like the name + the fact of using a frigate

Hehe, yea, I like frigate-fics too ^_^ And it's quite nice to write fic about frigate - you have almost no limitations - ship is big enough to put a lot of action in it, yet still there are dozens of larger ships which can wipe it out without a problem - and that gives bit more emotions to the story

Have a fun reading it
BTW: I never managed to read it all in single shot.

[Sparki]

Whuuu, sounds really great. Not to turn the spotlight on me, but since my fic is entering the Part II phase and my intention to add short bios of the characters so new readers could jump in (without too much spoilage from part I) - I was really wondering where to put such biography thing since it was once said by a moderator here that only fics should be the main input here on these boards.

But yeah, I was going to add frig as a main aspect in Part II of my fic.


As for your story (almost through)
I have to say that you need a betareader, m8 or help in expression. At this point, I don't know if I can really help out that much. I may write a lot but just seeing what my betareader has fixed at ff.net, I'm not really the right guy for corrections.

However, I've noticed a lot of missing suffixes (that the even right word? ^^), like "an" and predominantly "the", which made the reading a bit difficult; it also took some of my imagination to build what you intended to mention.

I can say that you need to explain a bit more on with a line or two, especially on the first short chapters. Another point is that things happen too suddenly. Okay, when surprises happen - they need to be sudden but there are a lot of sudden switches. I don't think it requires too much explanatory input, just a sentence here and there to add so that the flow is better.

If there is one suggestion I can make: use Microsoft Word 2007 (or whatever beyond and up-to-date). Help kills the typos .

Anyways, let's see what other people say.

[Sky_walker]

Thanks for the input!

Uki, I'll try to expand these a bit, as same as...

Spoiler

final sequence, the whole description of explosion and last moments is waaaaay too short ("Noooo!", The End. lol)

About the things happen too suddenly - well, at some points it was intentional (I guess you are about those unintentional, but well...) - I just don't like the books filled with descriptions of nature / ships / rooms, and lack of actual content, so I somewhat tried to make each part contain lot of action. I should think about making some action without real action... or something like that.

Bleah, and I should get MS Word too or make a trip to the friend owning it.

[Sky_walker]

uki, looks like grammar is corrected in major part starting on the beginning.

*Sky_walker still looks for feedbacks