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Exile's Return & Other Fiction Discussion And Updates

  1. #51
    Well the first book is kind of messy, but the second and third fix up a lot of stuff. this is how it's formatted in the later ones:

    Chapter Whatever
    Chapter Name

    MARK (he is the only first person because he is main character)


    ERIC (He is secondary but important character so i can write lots about him but in third person)


    So really it's both first and third person for what I'm writing now. I made it easy for readers to know what's going on and where they're reading.


    Yeah I don't worry too much about the lack of comments or views here. The Homeworld community seems to be at a low at the moment anyway...

  2. #52
    I've linked stuff I like in the first post. Check them out if you haven't already.

    *sigh* I went back through the forums looking for fanfiction. So much unfinished business... I've found an attempted HW novelization that never finished, a half done progenitors fic and some others that just went dead with no warning at all... Hell even Chrome is on hiatus.

    Well, don't worry I'm finishing this thing. And I have far more to come. I've already just brainstormed two other books in the Exile's fanon that I'll be doing at the same time after this series is completed and rewritten. No spoilers yet through I'm a bit obsessed with writing if you want to put it that way.

    For the few still writing, hurrah.

    Now it's almost 2AM and I have a presentation tomorrow.
    Last edited by doberman211; 20th Oct 11 at 10:48 PM.

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Aye, sad that Chrome got too much to do, but Chrome been pushing a lot on the fic too Unfinished business, but a lot has been done. Up to us now to keep that fanfic flame burnin' (kicks out olypmic flame).

    Yeah I have a presentation too, got to talk about food, in spanish ~_~ ugh.
    I will get to chapters 11 and 12 as soon as I get back. I always started a bit but had to bounce back due to frequent distraction +.+ Looking forward to it though !!!!1
    BF Bad Company 2 - Name: Groovechamp

    Homeworld Fanfiction in progress:
    Tales of the Vjel-Amaj - feat. a unique Kiith
    Book I; Book II; Book III
    Discussion Thread/ Forum Blog

  4. #54
    Yeah but Chrome's also known to take a long time between updates apparently. I just see so many unfnished fics from 2005-2008 and such that just...stopped. Sometimes there was no warning, there were just no updates and then it was locked...

    In any case, How about we make a new thread thing to be able to find all Homeworld fanfictions ever made? Something for later. Maybe make a download .zip of them all. But that I believe would require permissions from the authors and I'm too lazy for that right now xD.

    I've yet to think of how to transition into hyperspace again this time, so gimme a few days or hours I don't know but when I figure out what I'm writing it about in the meantime, then it should go by fast. Or I could just skip over months of the story plot (jk I would never do that). But I can give some not-so-spoilers if you've played the game, the next mission is one with some major stuff going on, not just saving the Bentusi. THAT is what I'm looking forward to writing. not hyperspace. But it must be done, and it must be done well. or at least good enough for me to want to post it. The rewrites will clear things up. It's gotten to the point where i'm trying to stick with plots from the first book, but in my mind i have the many changes from the rewrite that i need to just throw out the window and forget for a couple hours when writing book 3. That's why it's on hold. Not for the readers but more for my brain. It's much easier if it's a different book altogether though because the universes have nothing to do with each other.

    Ah yes. Those chapters. Have fun! I think I'm removing that book entirely... you'll know which one I mean.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Fanfics tend to be cursed as unfinished projects unless it is a some sort of short story/one shot.
    Of course there are several that actually reached "The (real) End", but it is natural to see them enter a hiatus phase. After all, people have reallife or interests gone elsewhere etc.

    It would be a slave job but yeah, would be neat to have a sticky thread full of all the current HW fics ever made. I actually had the idea of something similiar or some sort of thread featuring shameless selfpromotion/teasers like the one thread I saw on However, the numbers of active writers were already low and HW was reaching its 10th anniversary. Not that I'm saying HW is dead, but since there is a steady flow of DoW/Warhammer40k, it is unlikely we will be seeing much of HW ~ on the other hand, it is up to us to keep that angelmoon HW flag floating !
    Anyhow, I think it is okay to get the fics and put them in a downloadable zip. After all, we'd not be claiming those are our fics other than "our fics" like ER or ToVJ etc. Plus, many of them certainly abandoned them and I'm sure they'd be happy if people still have interests on reading them. I just think it would be good that they are PDF'ed and labeled respectively with relicnews forum names on the first page - perhaps even an email address if possible. But as I mentioned, it is a slave job ^^ which requires some time.

    As for writer blocks, I think it is okay to jump a few months ahead.
    Imo, it is better to keep writing than being stuck on a plot and time going by. Just leave an ooc note that you intend to fill that gap in the future when you have new creative ideas for it.

    In my example, I will be using the time jump ahead as an intro/prologue for Part III, but have something alike your 1st person writing explaining events of the past. So it can help
    Of course, for ER, the problem with Hyperspace moments is that that's when Mark and company have time for themselves and allow you to develop them.

    Should be nothing wrong with "boring moments in h-space" as long as that plot is written well or has enough to talk about . There should always be space for stuff like Mark checking out new fighter tech or explaining some things like why fighters has or needs this or that. Of course, such is a filler, but a fun to read filler ;D.

  6. #56
    Yeah the collection is something for later. Like months away later.

    Well, I've got nothing to do for the rest of the day, so off to writing for me.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Okay dude ;D
    Gotta also get on with chapter 30, but I'm hungry.

    Just this in:
    Reading chapter 13

    Just what I see so far:
    ~ cut the large blocks of paragraphs with a line break.
    The wall of text effect commonly appears when single people are holding a speech. Best is to just hit enter around the middle of the paragraph at the end of that sentence.
    ~ Typos but they're always there.

    The rivalry/background on Gaalsien was interesting !

  8. #58
    Yeah the walls of text is because I didn't want to hit enter while in speech of a single character, but it get's annoying even for me, so I'm starting to do that now and in the rewrites.

    I saw your post about the fighter types and I just had to. So it's in the format of Arazis (the Kadeshi character) asking mark why they had so many different ship types if the very few that the Kadeshi had seemed to work fine. And well, I invented a Kadeshi destroyer within that. No other spoilers than that though.

    I've also found out how to get out of this mini block, write about the rebellion. It's working so far.

    And my idea of breakfast / lunch is lucky charms and a cup of coffee. xD


    Book 3 Chapter 15 done.

  9. #59
    Book 3 Chapter 16 done.

    For those of you past book 3 chapter 15:

  10. #60
    Book 3 Chapter 17 done.

    Forgive the awful pun in the title. xD

    That's all for this weekend and that's actually the only way it can be unless I have a time machine as this is being posted minutes before midnight. lol.

    Cliffhangers suck for readers so I apologize

    How you liking the rebels? anyone? no? alright then I'll just ignore your silence and keep on going.

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Got to chapter 18 while munching popcorn, was a fun read .

    Just in case-Spoilertag

    Last edited by Sparki; 28th Oct 11 at 7:09 PM.

  12. #62
    Popcorn lol. I just finished watching a movie xD. I was just about to go read when I saw this. Alrighty here I go!

    My response, contains spoilers to other readers, so don't click me!

    To everyone else, I'll write more tomorrow if i have the time.

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!

    Le Spoileur tag

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    sorry for the late reply. Hands full of work again.

    I read Chap19 / Taiidan Battle

    Click me

  15. #65


    For everyone else, I know I've been on break, but last night / this morning I reread and made final edits to book 3 chapters 18 and 19, and now we're off to Karos.

  16. #66

    Happy B-Day :D

    Happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday, happy birthday . . . happy birthday Exile's Return.

    Yep, 3 years ago today I posted my first chapter of Exile's Return. Of course I started a bit before then, but there's no defined date since before that point my writing was done on paper. And oh dear how it was terrible at first, well actually revision 1.5 which is the one posted online, I still find rather inadequate to represent Homeworld fully. But that opinion isn't mine to make obviously.

    I'm more of the write it post it and do it better next time, since if you never get something out, it just won't get done. And now that i think of it, if I hadn't accidentally went to instead of Facebook about a year ago, I probably wouldn't have continued it for a while longer and it would sit there to rot away. Then after i noticed it had been 9 months of nearly forgetting about it, I decided "what the hell why not?" and started up again.

    So now I get to celebrate the birthday of my first actual full length story.

    And why not? I don't see a reason not to, even if chances are I'll be the only one posting. Like I said, this is teh casual place to write down whatever.

    So I think I'll continue this trend of November 15th for my next series, which actually has a scrap brainstorm thrown together, and here's what I've got so far:


    Just a rough, If there's a canon name for a hiigaran emperor somewhere i missed tell me, because these names I'm pulling out of a hat here as usual xD I tried some names of actual Kushan Empire related stuff, but they don't sound right to me. I don't know.
    Last edited by doberman211; 15th Nov 11 at 12:16 AM.

  17. #67
    So I finished 2 more chapters for Book 3. Um . . . yeah it's pretty brutal near the end of Ch21 just a little warning. Might lol

  18. #68
    Join Date
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  19. #69
    Book 3 Chapter 22 posted. We're finally in Karos guys.

    Chapter 23 posted as well.
    Last edited by doberman211; 13th Dec 11 at 3:07 PM.

  20. #70
    Alright readers, I've decided I'm going to go on hiatus from December 20th to February 1st.

  21. #71
    Hi guys, I'm a member of this group here, and if you could join it that would be great and I would appreciate it a lot.

    I'm still on hiatus though, but I HAVE revised a brainstorm to another book I was planning. No spoilers

  22. #72
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Have an awesome merry xmas, dude : )!
    Enjoy the break. It is healthy !

    Yesh yesh, no spoilers! Looking forward to what pops out of the oven once the clock dings.

  23. #73
    Aaaand a happy new year! So for all here who want HW3, there's now a way to do that without facebook. Sign the petition!

    Yeah I'm probably getting annoying with this stuff but who cares I'm not writing until February so there's really nothing else to say Homeworld-ish.

  24. #74
    On a belated note, my new years resolution is to finish this trilogy and the first book of my actual series or original works. I'll link to that at some point too I guess. And that above mentioned other HW fic of which not much is known, though *hint hint* if you scroll up there is the very early stages of a prequel to the HW series. But I've got something else in the works too.

    I'm working on finishing up another chapter today, but like I've said, don't expect very much from me this month.

    EDIT: So yeah that chapter is posted. I didn't review it though... just got back from a 2.5km walk in -9 Celsius and snowing. Gotta love Canada... -.-
    Last edited by doberman211; 5th Jan 12 at 9:24 PM.

  25. #75
    Well I broke my hiatus... IT'S SO HARD NOT WRITING!

    But at least this chapter was edited. So there shouldn't be any stupid mistakes but hey, maybe there are and I just didn't see any.

    Almost done the trilogy makes me sad. But no worries. Other stuff ahead. Also a rewrite is needed but I'm in no rush.

  26. #76
    Another chapter posted with possibly another one to come today or tomorrow depending where you live. I've got the rest of the week off so not much to do but write. Which is a good thing.

  27. #77
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Almost through with book 2.

    Cool that it all gets right to the thick of the plot. =]

  28. #78
    Nice to hear

    Alright Book 3 Chapter 27 posted.

    Contains one sentence with foul language but it's justified by the events. A lot of you may hate me for this, but just note that I planned this from the beginning.

  29. #79
    Book 3 Chapter 28 Posted.

    Well, the war is coming to an end. We've left a trail of bloodshed stained across the galaxy, now, let us enter the Hiigara System, and take back the Homeworld.

    All Kushan, no . . . Hiigarans! Let us unite!

  30. #80
    Book 3 Chapter 29 posted. Only a few chapters left everyone! Sorry it took so long this time, I've been writing on and off. I even had to rewrite this chapter because I didn't think it was good enough, even now I think it could be better. But I'll let you guys decide for yourselves.

    I'll be concluding this next weekend, so here's this until then.

    I'm debating rewriting most of Book 1 during March Break or starting a new book, one that's not fan fiction but I'll link it for you all anyway. The rewrite that's out now is being junked as I've got more to add to it now.

    And I think that's it. Have a good read!

  31. #81
    Ugh... change of plans. No updates this weekend. I'm sick with what I'm assuming is the swine flu because of the lack of a fever. Same as last year. I tried to write something, got nearly done but it just turned out badly. The next update will be the last 2 chapters so no need to wait after that.

  32. #82
    Last chapters of Book 3 uploaded. Well, it's finally come to an end. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i did writing it. There's more to come from these characters, so don't worry. But the Homeworld War is now over and the curtain is closed on this trilogy.

    I'll rewrite these eventually and then upload them somewhere as pdf or ebup when I'm done and can say that it is the final copy, since i can export to either one in Pages.

    I'll be deciding what to write next this March Break, so stay tuned for that.

    Peace, doberman211

  33. #83
    I've made a decision, and I'll be leaving the world of fan fiction for now. Not for good, but I'm working on something else here on my Fictionpress. I've had this idea in my head since I was 13, it was actually my first idea for a story that had to undergo so far eight rewrites before it got to what I have it at now. I think I've got it right this time, it's just waiting for me to get it written down. Fan fiction was my trial run, and if you've been reading this from the beginning, you can tell that my writing has improved a great deal since then. (hints at a future rewrite or ER yet again)

    I'd also like to know what you thought of it now that it's done. If you love/hate the ending and such.

    In the words of Arnold, "I'll be back."

    Peace, Doberman211

  34. #84
    New sequel can be found here. It's set 4 years after Landfall. I am not sure how often this one will be updated because of the above mentioned book, but I felt like making something homeworld-ish today, so I give you this brief introduction to my next idea.

    I don't know if I like the name though. I was debating on Return to Kadesh or sticking with the ER naming scheme. I think the prior is the better option. Any thoughts?
    Last edited by doberman211; 1st Apr 12 at 8:51 PM.

  35. #85
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Working titles are a tough one sometimes.
    It should be fitting to the plot but one should avoid any spoilers.

    My only suggestion is to just keep KR for now as the title, but always keep open for new titles that may come in mind after all. After all, we have to see how the story unfolds.
    Regarding spoiling titles, I actually had that problem for Act II of my fic. It took me years to figure a fitting name and it somewhere popped up only when I was nearing the end .

    On the other hand, you could use a less direct title. Perhaps a more "religious" one as the Kadeshi are usually depicted/perceived as Zealots (though this could be proven wrong in your fic). Or the "apocalyptic" type as in HW:Cataclysm, or Apocalypse or other typical ones in that nature. Or the types that are leaning on a specific notorious object; say a necklace or a celestial body (xyz star, etc) or an actual name of a character.

    I have to read a few chapters through to toss you some random title names though.

    All I could come up with for now. It's 6:06am xD!

    oh and Welcome Back dude ;D!

  36. #86
    Anyway I was screwin' around in GIMP again and made a cover for ya. Still needs lots of work though.


    Also, name fixed. I got a few more ideas going. I'm calling it The Requiem War.
    Last edited by doberman211; 2nd Apr 12 at 1:37 PM.

  37. #87
    TRW Chapter 2 posted. No, it was not an April fools joke, I'm actually back.

    Fixed a tiny screw up when I stated Cromell helped with the fighter training, I will be getting to fixing that in ER too, it should be Leonard who is strike command, Cromell is the captain of the security force. DOH!

    Have some interesting ideas about the Bentusi you might want to read about.

    And as for Warcry, I'd rather wait for that one until Summer as it will need far more background work than this one, need to make completely new characters and setting. But it is a thing that will happen.

  38. #88
    TRW Chapter 3 posted as well as another thing I was working on over the easter break, here's Warcry.

    I'll be focusing on TRW more. Warcry is kind of just what I'll do when I have writer's block or when I get bored (which rarely happens) so it'll be updated much less frequently.

  39. #89
    Sorry for no updates. I recently got a job that makes me work until midnight 5 days a week. Don't expect any new chapters until the end of May, because that's when I'll have my life back.

  40. #90
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Just don't loose track ;D! I haven't managed to get much forward in reading myself due to similar reasons (and personal fic projects too) but I'm still around !

    By the way, (probably overkill at the moment) have you started a wikia on your fictions?

  41. #91
    xD yeah no i haven't. I kinda stopped midway through a chapter so i'll just reread it and continue from there when i feel up to it. But seriously. School 6 hours and work 8 hours right after. I think I'm in writer withdraws. Or maybe its the 5 coffees a day... Anyway, yeah. Not fun. Also I've been working on song lyrics to ease the shitty depressed feeling of having no life for a whole month xD Still doing something productive in my free time, just not novel-length work.

  42. #92
    Ok New chapter posted for TRW. Everything but Mark's part was written weeks ago so forgive any fails that may arise. And ppl, it helps if you tell me these things. The worst editor by far is the author.

    Also, I don't work now so yeah back to my regular weekly chapter schedule.

  43. #93
    Back! TRW Chapters 5 and 6 posted with another being written. Had school stuff to deal with.

  44. #94
    I tried something new this time. I found the font used in Homeworld too thanks to google and ionfish.


  45. #95
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    Welcome back!
    I did not manage to read the next parts of your fic yet as the terrors of writing and art production stalled me.
    But just to let you know that I do anticipate reading !

  46. #96
    No problem, I'm still not finished your first one. I got a bit caught up on things and never finished it. I enjoy where it's going though.

  47. #97
    TRW Chapter 7 posted.

    I don't know if anyone noticed, but if I can't find a chapter title that suits it, it usually ends up being a song I listened to while writing it that seems at least vaguely fitting.

    Also, for any canadians out there, Happy Canada Day, eh!

  48. #98
    TRW Chapter 8 posted! See? I didn't let myself put this off for a whole month. Well... I almost did. xD

    Anyway, don't trust me when I say I'll be writing more often. I was going to, but then something kinda big came up this month, and I couldn't bring myself to get writing. I'll try. That's all I'm promising.

  49. #99
    No updates are coming for a while on The Requiem War (as you probably already guessed), so I'll link you to what I'm up to lately again.

    I've been writing my own series, and since it's the holidays I've had plenty of writing time. 20k words at the moment and counting. It's a teen fiction from the perspective of Shane, who's a character based more or less off of myself aside from the obvious fictional aspects. I don't wanna spoil it too much if you actually want to read it though. So in rough summary, there's a war going on, and the bad guys are the Taigians. They're kind of like space nazis who hate everyone else int he galaxy because they're "imperfect beings". And yet the Taigian lifespan is like 20-30 earth years on average.

    I'll come back to my fanfiction eventually, so no, I haven't permanently abandoned you. I just think since the main ER trilogy is done (though in serious need of a rewrite, oh god i don't even wanna read it... so many errors) it's more productive to make something of my own. I started planning this series before I even played homeworld, but wasn't very confident in my writing skills, so i spent most of that time just imagining the massive universe behind the story. Now, I feel i can write something decent, so i'll get it done.

    Anyway, Peace. And have a good read! People really should read more. It's sad.

  50. #100
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Germany - In "Yurop"!
    That be good, man . As long as you keep writing, nothing can go wrong.

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