Let's Play: Vienna - The Vienna DOLT meeting take three second year

[scoiatollo]

So since it seems to became a habit of dolts visiting Vienna (last year we had Ira and his wife, followed by that backstabbing psychopathic bitch Pocktio) I now introduce you year two of this already LEGEN*wait for it, just a bit longer*DARY event.

Our beloved forum monkey Obtuse, our feared Doltland Overlord Dark_Axel and our forum cutie Kirjava dared to do the long journey and me and my brother will make sure they'll have an unforgettable stay. Many adventures will be had, many women will slap Kir in the face for ... well we leave that out for now and not to mention a lot of beer will be drunk just to make sure that those poor underage children don't get it (yes we are that kind and caring!).

Joining us in all this will be Riess and Rafta, the other two local dolts that are always up for doing you know what...



From left to right: Obtuse, hidden behind Obtuse Riess, Arinax (aka Kobebeaver or my brother), Kirjava, me, Viking Bunny Rafta, and Dark Axel.

if you really wanna know what this event is about open the spoiler

Kir was weak and had to be punished according to old Viking laws

People who were too scared or too weak to come: Ammon and Schakal BUUUUHHHH!!!!

[MadCatChiken]

One day when I'm not broke from being a student I shall come to Vienna an challenge you all to a drinking game. ^^

[Pocktio]

Mwahaha. Oh poor Kir, were the epic Austrian brews too much for you

[scoiatollo]

Not Austrian brews, Austrian WATER

[Dark_Axel]

In case you haven't noticed Chick. The Brits are down and out after just one night. Challenging a couple of Austrians for a drinking game is not the smartest move...

[Obtuse]

Moving this across from... another place as we've kinda duplicated efforts here:

Let's Play: Vienna

Because we're all horrifically organised and we haven't actually planned anything to do in Vienna at all. What we're looking for from you guys is suggestions for what we should spend the next 4 days doing. This can range from informed opinions about good places to see and things to do to completely stupid suggestions that will make for some memorable photos that will haunt those involved for years to come. As long as it's not illegal and/or impractical and the folks here are willing to do it I'll do my best to capture the moment and bring it hear to torment and amuse. At some stage may evolve into a proper blog, but for the moment merely looking for ideas for material.

The full album which will be updated as we go along is here; https://plus.google.com/photos/11800...gpcaz=4b5fe9ae photos are tagged but the tags are only viewable from individual photo view.

New photos are already being taken for today and will have to have some serious negotiations to get online. Let's just say morning hair

[Ra owa]

Planking/lying down game. Whoever does it on the strangest landmark or whatever wins i.e. whoever provides the best photo

Or you can go to a LAN centre (if there is one!) and find out who is the biggest noob.

But, if in doubt, drink more!

Sorry, i don't know Vienna at all!

[Kirjava]

Oh fuck you guys.

I should stress that my down-and-outness had more to do with only having slept for about two hours on the plane over and the night before, so after about 6 or 7 beers and a meal that consisted mostly of slabs of meat I think I wasn't doing too bad to be asleep by whenever it was! Still, I have learned a hard lesson. Revenge shall be mine, I tell you. REVENGE!!!

[Rafta]

Teabagging Kir was fun

[Schakal]

6-7 beer? thats like nothin!

[scoiatollo]

It was 5 at most and lots Radler aka lemonade in a ~6h timeframe. But yeah so far I am not impressed by our cutie...

[Nurizeko]

It's weird that I wont fly to Paris to meet some American chick I've known for years but I instantly want to go to Vienna. lol

[Kirjava]

Them's some slightly skewed priorities Nuri

[scoiatollo]

Teabagging an English soubds like a proper goal for a Scottish lad^^

[Fixer]

Is 5 beers for the night like 7 beers if a guy drinks?

No bar for home, passed out floor with 7, but is it for 5 like 7 beers when you no drink it to be for men, for 7 beers instead? or half is 2 for 4 beers?

[AridMonk]

Kir has got the cutest bedcovers, pink suits his girl-like alcohol consumptions.

[Kirjava]

Bedcovers are Arinax's, and I have no idea what Fixer's talking about by this point. Taking it on the chin, bracing myself for the pictures of me with the gay guide map that Scooa seemed to be urgently keen we have a look at...

[scoiatollo]

You wanted to have a map and you seemed pretty interesting in that cruising area it mentions, or that escort service, or ...

Pic will follow later, right now it's just on google+

[Kirjava]

Stop projecting Scoia, it's embarrassing.

[scoiatollo]

The only thing embarrassing was how you stared at the waiter in that bar :P

[Obtuse]

God I just love boys. I can't wait for Scoia to take his trousers off for me like he promised.

EDIT: Don't make promises you won't keep, you keyboard-thieving bastard.

[scoiatollo]

Only after we've seen Dark taking off his 3layered Stripperpants!

edit to his edit: Oh don't be so sure about that my skinny monkey ass.

[scoiatollo]

The update for tonight:



Today we introduced those Brits to some "proper" Austrian Cusine, Käsleberkässemmeln (that's basically meshed meat mixed with fat and even more fat cheese). The Brits really liked the taste, BUT...



Appearently the Monkey died of an overdose of FAT (really not impressed by that monkey...^^)



The only thing that brought them back to life was the outlook of you know what, which was offered in you know which special interest map of the city.



Anyway, that planking achievement was too easy, so come up with something better...

And now for the lesson of the day, you should determine the outcome of the evening by how naked people start wrestling with each other.

[Hand of Asur]

I'll save my money. If I bring the Tequila and music, will you bring the buds

[Pocktio]

Ew inferior lager. Ok, plank ontop of a carriage of that giant, scary ass ferris wheel.

[scoiatollo]

Sooo... since the update ate my posts twice (luckily I copied everything^^) here are the updates

Day 3 and 4

Both days were rather unimpressive for me since I had to work on both days to be able to substain my alcohol addiction be able to afford the week. The BBQ on day 3 was rather genious, 2kg of Argentinian beef, 1/2 kg of Käsekrainer, 1/2 kg of Bratwürste, some grillcheese, Zucchini, Mango and some *ugh* Salad finally made our stomaches full. The homemade Sacher Cake was good as well, just that a certain Brit felt like dishonoring our rich tradition of eating cake by seperating the layers and not eating the cake (*cough*Kirjava*cough*). During the cake we had a game of risk which was pretty interesting because of the rule clash

edited pics:


Kir riding planking a snake in the local zoo


surprisingly the guy in front is Obtuse not the inteligently looking monkey in the background


Meet the Panda!


Day 4 was again work for me on the evening, but the others spend the day discussing Hitler, WW1 and why Germany always loses. When I got back to them we killed an hour with a few beers and started drinking some beer before heading out to the Schweizerhaus in the Prater. Of course our children got distracted by the videogames, airhockey and Flippers that were there, so we were like 25min late, which didn't matter since the other Dolts were even slower... After a Stelze (1kg of PORK), some beer, and some talking we left for the Bermude Triangle in the first district, on the way there Rafta and me were how manly we were for riding the Extasy, we boths have to find a new way to prove our manliness cause even a weak Brit and an even weaker Austrian were able to pull that off...

We got lost in the Bermuda Triangle and had an interesting discussion about why Obtuse got thrown out of Malaysia (we haven't found out why but the one thing we do know is that it hasn't do anything to do with Nazis on flying Dinosaurs) and the foot fetish of Arinax. Not to mention that Alex showed his true racist self (yeah those damn minorities!)

edited pics:


Grouppic in the Bermuda Triangle

Day 5 was when it all went down. The day started with visiting Schönbrunn, since we didn't want to wait an hour to get a ticket or even pay that much we just enjoyed the park and the general lack of good waiters in Austria (we waited 20min for the bill and it was a rather interesting situation as a whole, especially when she was 2 steps away from our table and just turned around to do something else). At the top of the Gloriette those fail Brits decided to burn money on SANDVICHES that were overpriced, A LOT.
The next highlight of the day were the Catacombs under the Stephansdom, practically the wet dream of every dog, bones EVERYWHERE

The night started with some beer and ended with playing singstar (Obtuse is a fucking cheater...) and someone sleeping in the bathroom.

Currently I am uploading a video, I'll edit the post later with pics (and videos of the singing), right now my words have to be sufficient

edited pics:

the victim

he wanted to stay anonymous

[Kirjava]

I'm hooooome. Many thanks to Vienna-based Dolts for hanging out with us, particuarly Arinax (Rainer) and his lovely girlfriend Stephanie who put us up all week, fed us delicious noms and indulged us with all the beer we could desire. Also to Scoia for setting up the whole thing and being an excellent tour guide, even if we found that he can't cut it in the drinking premiere league Dark_Axel, nice to have hung out all week, and cheers for helping out linguistically when Arinax or Scoia weren't around. Riess and Rafta, was cool to have met you, I hope I'll be able to come across again soon!

I'm sure I'll have some pics to go up at some point.

[scoiatollo]

Yesterday after we dropped the Brits off at the airport we visited the Zentralfriedhof (I needed a quiet place) and it's really worth a visit if you are ever in Vienna!

Zentralfriedhof pics, I reccommend looking at them

#

So today was the first day without those Brits and finally the fun could start! Me and Dark decided to visit an AWESOME place full of oily, sweaty bodies performing in front of a crowd consisting mainly of men to let of some steam from time to time. And to top that all, there was a just looking no touching rule in place! The pictures of this great place will be in a spoiler tag so minors may not be too excited about what they are going to see.

only open if you really think you are prepared for it

Keep hands to yourself!


The walk of TRAINS!


Dark all serious about this hot life action!


He even dared to go inside of one!

After that rather hot visit we decided to visit the LUSThaus in the Prater (big "amusement" area in the city) and let's just say that things became really heated there, if you know what I mean. You can do whatever you want there since it's a HUGE area and hardly any people in it, so no one can hear you scream.

some extra sexy pic from the party with the Brits

[Pocktio]

Mwahaha @ the KO'd dolt in the bathroom

I am looking forward to a possible London version of this, although Vienna>London in almost every respect.

[Dark_Axel]

Pock, you do realise that the KO was an Austrian dolt. Because the UK dolts and me are smart enough to stop drinking (or not really drink at all) at the right moment.
Anyways, meeting up with Dolts is generally a great experience overall. Especially when you can go out and visit some train museums as well

[Ammon Ra]

Oh hi.

I see you hadz fun.

[JAL-18]

I can't believe you guys went planking.

[scoiatollo]

I can't believe that none of you made better suggestions than planking :P

[Ira Aduro]

I can't believe no "POTENZER" were involved in this edition of Vienna Doltage.


Also don't forget Shoe was at the first one. Remember Mexican Coke?

[scoiatollo]

"Potenzerl" we didn't ran into a group of desperate women selling booze this time, sadly

I'll never forget shoe and his deadly drinking! (not to mention some other shoe related moments^^)

[Rafta]

So, the next round of Dolt meetings in Vienna. This time it was nyyti who visited us from the far away realms of trolls and elks, Finland.
We had a nice night out, the fun as unBEARable, one could say uBEAR.

Nyyti was joined by Kirjava (who tends to become an Austrian, slowly but steady), Riess, Kobe, Scoi and myself.

The whole evening began with Scoi, Kobe and me getting Kirjava from the trainstation followed by some beers in a tavern close to nyyti's hotel (whilst nyyti was captured inside his plane on the airport because a heavy thunderstorm brought all airport activity to a halt).



Soon we got company, Riess has left his work and joined us for some more beer



Finally, at around 9 p.m. we got a text message from the fintroll, telling us that he was able to leave the plane, embarking on his way to the hotel. So we decided to get going and walked through the rainy night to the Vienna gay district (where nyyti's hotel was located)



But because of nyyti being a fintroll, not used to metros and large cities without animal wildlife he got lost, so Scoi struggled to somehow tell him where to go.
Finally, after freezing off our asses in front of questionable establishments we met up with nyyti, who left his parents and sister (I assume) at the hotel to get off to a bar with us.



Lot's of beer and Schnitzels have been killed and the talk was crazy fun, somehow the idea of bears as finish wi-fi spots emerged, ending up in Riess drawing one on the iPad, to conserve this phenomenal idea for all times. We have created the bearborn wi-fi hotspot modern warbear! A real bearway to heaven.



Take a look at this masterpiece:



You can take a look at all pictures in my photostream. I hope the other guys also upload their photos.

Kudos,
Rafta

[scoiatollo]

Well I didn't take any pictures, but I'll give you some more details than Rafta did

First we were standing (or rather cruising according to Kir, you better ask him on his cruising adventures in gay clubs) in front of that gay bar for like half an hour, five dolts standing there in the cold, all in desperate need of a toilet (we had a few beer before we went to the hotel), speaking about unbearable things, all kept on a webcam they had pointed at us for the whole time. At one point we even scared a dog back inside the gay club... Strangely no one of us had the idea to go inside the bar, get a drink and use the toilet, I wonder why...

So after I fixed the trolls compass and guided him savely into our direction, Rafta (an Upper Austrian btw) took the charge of guiding us to a place of unlimited food and beer called Centimeter, but we should have known bettern than to follow such a fellow on the 20.4., history should have thaught us better, a lot better, cause he lied to us! The place was closed, so here we were, far away from all the action that was happening in the first district, with all the clubs, bars and food, after 15min of walking, still without a toilet! So we did the only thing logical, kept walking praying that we'll make it in time to our alternative location where there was unlimited beer and toilets!

[Busby]

So you guys went from cruising the gay quarter to talking about and drawing bears? Sounds like you had a great night out.

[Kirjava]

It was unBEARlievable.

the puns oh god the puns

Incidentally, next time I think I'm going to take charge of planning, and add in about 15 contingencies for just in case the place we want to go to shut like seven months ago and we don't want to walk for 45 minutes.

[Ira Aduro]

awesome write up. With the Vienna dolts there seems to be an alarming amount of "let's go here" and then it's closed/missing. Remember the heuriger in the woods?

Hopefully I will have my own write up come end of May with the london dolts.

[scoiatollo]

You mean the one we didn't go to because we decided it wouldn't be a wise idea going back in total darkness through a wood neither me or my brother went through for more than a decade, with one or 2 wine too many drunk? Other than that I don't recall anything failing with your stay since I did most of the planning :P

[Ira Aduro]

well I'm not complaining since we had that divine apricot dessert.

[Ammon Ra]

why wasn't I invited this time?!

[scoiatollo]

Because in his infinite wisdom the fin-troll decided to give us (well just Rafta who informed me, and I informed Kobe and Kir since I thought Rafta already informed Riess) a notice just one week prior, and he also had just Fr night. Kir practically lives (illegally) already in Austria, so yeah, blame the Fin!

[Ammon Ra]

ah, it was an impromptu doltish shenanigans

[Homdax]

So basically this goes to show that Obtuse is not a Albino Gorilla?

Damn, looks like a lot of phun guys. we need a swedish meetup.

[scoiatollo]

We should have filed a patent worded like "organic transportation device for wifi networks" cause SOMEONE STOLE OUR WIFIBEAR IDEA! Outrageous!

[Rafta]

PATENTTROLL THEM!

[Kirjava]

Outrageous. However, their donkeys are vastly inferior to the bears we will deploy across Europe.

[Riess]

Our wifi stations will simply maul theirs. Problem solved.