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#51
The southern white guy calling black people boys is a pretty common cliche as well. It's not new to anybody.
What are your thoughts on the words "faggot" and "****".It's use in language today is only tangentially related to its etymology.
e: Huh I did not know that that word was censored on the forums. I'll leave it as a fun game for everyone to find out what it was! But it starts with a c.
My Interceptor is better than your Interceptor.
Very rarely do I hear any racial slurs or insults thrown around in my life so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're all exaggerating the problem based on a few bad apples.
#53
In real life? No, not as much, because most bigots, sexists, and whatnot are cowards who wouldn't actually say what they're thinking to someone's face. In the protective realm of internet anonymity, particularly those areas which lack strong moderation? Ohhhhh yeah, it's a problem (4chan, online gaming, obscure forums, etc). When you take a group of people who interface primarily through the internet in those sorts of places and exhibit the behavior such places can foster, you get very public douchebaggery.
#54
What? In what world do you live where people aren't colossal bigots and haven't acted on that? I'd like to move there.
#55
Well, Mak, that brings into question "who is the real you?" (which is pretty goddam zen) - the you people meet face-to-face? Or the you that types on the internet? How about the you when surrounded by your peers egging you on? People often say that when drunk the real you comes out as you lose your inhibitions. I am of the opinion that inhibitions are distinctly integral to who I am.
What's my point with all this? I guess just be careful when labelling people. Sometimes the internet is not simply a safe vehicle for someone's prejudices, but can actually have some weird effect and can cause them to act like it is. (That's not me making excuses though.)
"Life is not full of successes, it is full of failures from which we learn" - Tony Benn
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#56
Yeah, "boy" was part of slavery here, basically. Same deal, slaves were referred to as "boy", both as a de-personalizing mechanism, and also to reinforce their lack of status. They were not allowed to be men, only boys.
That said, it's still not at gender-linked insult. It's not referring to you as being less because you are male, it's an attempt to imply that you are less through infantilization, the contrast of boy against man. All the derogatory words for females are based on the gender itself, the comparison is male-female, where it's obviously implied that male=good, and female=bad, or at least inferior.
Calling a man a bitch is an insult because it implies a passive sexual role, in other words, a "female" role, which is again contrasted to the "male" role of penetrator as being the superior one. This is the source of "rape" as slang for very badly beating someone, since being made the passive partner in a sexual act is implied to be the ultimate humiliation.
So yeah, "boy" as an insult doesn't quite track as an analogue.
"Fear nothing except in the certainty that you are your enemy's begetter and its only hope of healing. For everything that does evil is in pain."
-The Maestro Sartori, Imajica by Clive Barker
Calling someone a female dog is not an insult because it implies you are female as much as it implies you are a dog. A dog is an insult because of it's extremely subservient social status.Originally Posted by Paladin
Many derogatory words for females are not based on the gender but on the sexual promiscuity of the woman/girl in question. Granted there is a double standard in what is acceptable for females or males but that cut's both ways.
Generally the only times calling someone a female (however it is worded) is an insult is when the person in question is not a female. Not being feminine enough is something women/girls can be insulted over just as men/boys can be insulted on not being masculine enough.
Insults are many and varied. They are often contradictory as human social norms are wont to do.
You must be the change you want to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi
That's not completely true TDATL.
Calling a girl a tomboy is not derogatory, it's saying that the girl is rough and tough like a boy.
Calling a boy a nancy (a girl's name) is derogatory, it's saying that the boy is like a girl.
Calling a boy anything intending to imply that the boy is less masculine or, rather, more feminine is considered derogatory because you are saying the boy is weak.
Calling a girl anything implying that the girl is less feminine or, rather, more masculine is considered to be good, or at the very least neutral because you are saying that the girl is strong.
Calling someone a female dog is an insult because it is feminine, NOT because it is a dog. People call their friends dog (dawg) as a way of showing respect and friendship. "Top dog" is an expression which implies that someone is the best. The list goes on.
Now how many expressions do you know of what imply someone is feminine AND good? I guarantee that list is a shit load smaller than the expressions which imply someone is female and bad.
Also, notice that any expression that implies someone is feminine and good also implies certain attributes about behavior and position in society. Such as calling someone a lady. The implication is that she knows her place, and it's not with the men on equal footing. The male version, gentleman, implies the same things, but without the latter implication of knowing their place.
You say that there are many words for females which are not based on gender, but on the sexual promiscuity of the woman/girl in question. These words are only there because they are aimed at females. Slut = female. A slut is not a male. Hell, in order to try and get the equivalent you actually add the male word in to get "manslut/male slut". Whore = female. Again, "manwhore". etc. The insults are based primarily on the sex of the person.
Explain to me this double standard that "cut's both ways". I'd like to hear how this double standard harms men.
It takes a lot of argument
to convince most people
that they are lying.
#59
e: Rewriting entire posts again..
I don't think using "god damn" or "jesus fucking christ" makes you bigoted towards religion. That would be an unfair accusation hurled towards those who use those insults simply because they're so deeply ingrained into our culture that they feel too natural. I wish less people used those insults. I wish those insults didn't exist. But using those insults does not necessarily mean you're intolerant towards religion.
If you can grasp this, then you should easily be able to grasp why a person using "gay" or "rape" in a derogatory fashion is not necessarily a bigot or a sexist. It probably just means too much 4chan exposure.
Otherwise, you have a bit of a double standard.
Last edited by roflmao; 5th Mar 12 at 10:08 PM.
#60
that woman is the dogs bollocks.
discuss ? (couldn't resist)
#61
"God damn" and "Jesus fucking christ" are not insults, and they're not insults specifically designed to put down Christians or imply that they're less than non-Christians. Huge difference. Not even a little bit similar, actually.
#62
Seems like you're splitting hairs to me. The two insults don't insult religious people, but they do insult the judeochristian god. So it's an insult towards religion. Used by religious people a lot too, but that just sort confirms what I'm saying.
I think my point still stands, which is that whether good or bad, people will use insults that target a specific group of people not necessarily because they hate that group of people, but just because they're emotionally venting. Yes, it kind of sucks, but it's common.
Swear words lose their meaning when they're overused. The f-word is a fantastic example of this. It doesn't mean sex in most contexts. It just adds extra emphasis to your sentence.
Similarly, people use "gay" to add extra emphasis to a sentence. I don't think people should. We could live with less insults towards specific demographics. But I don't think this is necessarily a sign of sexism for the same reason the f-word doesn't always mean sex.
On the other hand, take the n-word. It's not used that frequently because of its taboo origins, but precisely because it's underused is why it still preserves its meaning and strength. Using the n word means you are racist. If people started using it as frequently as they use the f-word, the "value" of the word would quickly degrade. If it were used as often as the f-word, then using the n-word wouldn't necessarily make you a racist.
What you're reacting to is verbicide. Linguistic destruction.
#63
Sorry, but no roflmao. A term that was deliberately designed to designate one group as inferior to another, and still carries that connotation, is not in any way comparable to a term that is not an insult, but rather a curse, and carries no implication of inferiority towards any particular imaginary man in the sky or his followers.
#64
Okay, God damn is obviously a curse. Jesus fucking Christ isn't really a curse. It just isn't.
But even if it were, I think you're still missing my point. Swear words can and do lose their original meaning. All the time. Do you ever think of oral sex when you hear the expression "that sucks"? No one does. Words that designate one group as inferior to another can lose their meaning like all other swear words. They're not exempt from the evolution of language.
Once again, I'm not saying we should use "gay" or "rape" as insults. I don't think we should. I'm just saying that someone who does use those insults is not necessarily a sexist or a bigot. To say otherwise is honestly absurd because of the linguistic phenomenon I've mentioned.
#65
What if swearing/cursing is apart of my culture?
#66
One is a curse towards something else (thus the statement "God damn X", you're literally asking God to damn X to Hell), and I'm not sure how "Jesus fucking Christ" is any more of an insult than "Marlon fucking Brando", or an insult and not an exclamation.So it's an insult towards religion
Words have history and meaning, even if you don't like it or want to think about it. Also yes, "suck my dick" is a common euphemism. (this is a fun thread)No one does....
If it were used as often as the f-word, then using the n-word wouldn't necessarily make you a racist.
#67
Come on. You know words evolve and lose their original meaning. Sure, they keep their history, but they lose or change in meaning. You know that as fact.
#68
Only if you're pretending that somehow overrides the old one. Come on, start calling things niggers and then do it in public. Change the meaning. See what happens. See if anyone forgets.
#69
Of course the older meanings have value. But you can say a word without necessarily invoking the older meaning.
When I say "man I decimated that dude" I'm not making some statement about deserters in the Roman army. That's the etymology of the word. The etymology has value, but I'm not invoking it's older meaning. I'm invoking the new meaning as a synonym of destruction.
Like it or not, "gay" in popular trash internet culture has come to mean "lame." The 12 year olds that browse 4chan too much and are way too familiar with internet memes don't use "gay" in a sexist way. They're literally too stupid to even make a connection to sexism.
#70
If you're speaking of archaic meanings then you should look up the word "archaic" then figure out how long it's been since "fag" started being slang for "stupid". Then find out if homosexuals are still called faggots today.
You could even drop a fascism reference on me!
e: \/\/ One might say they literally use literally figuratively.
#71
Heck, sadly even the word "literally" has literally lost some of its meaning among the younglings (and dumblings). People use literally figuratively all the time O.o.
Look, I guess what I'm reacting to is the fact that sexism and bigotry are pretty serious accusations. When I think of a mysognist I honestly think of a wife beater. Someone who imposes physical abuse and destroys lives. It invokes a very powerful and extremely negative image in my mind. So using "sexism" and "bigotry" casually to refer to a 12 year old who is kind of dumb irks me a little.
roflmao: No.
Swear words can lose their meaning. But that's nothing to do with over use. Rather, it's to do with being used in a different context. Fuck, since you picked the example, is now used as an expression of surprise rather than - or along with - the original vulgar term for intercourse being used as an expletive. It is also used as other things, and through the use of it in different contexts it's original meaning is watered down.
Also, you can trace the root of "sucks" to the phrase sucks hind teat, meaning inferior. Or there's sucks to you, a nonsexual taunt apparently favored by British schoolchildren of yore. The reference to any sexual act came much later. Once again, the word used in a different context.
But that's slightly off topic. Since we are talking about insults, and swear words are only insults to sensibilities.
Repetition is not a linguistic phenomenon that causes the meanings of words to dilute. That argument leads to only one place, which is that in order to stop people from being insulted, we should just insult the hell out of everyone until the insults lose their meaning... and I'm fairly sure that's not the position you want to end up at.
#73
Sure, that's misogynistic, but that doesn't make the smaller things okay. "Well, at least I don't beat my wife!" isn't a good excuse for catcalling or slutshaming or shouting "RAPE THAT BITCH" and all the other stuff that went on in Cross Assault or or any of a million other actions. It all falls under the same umbrella. No, calling someone a bitch isn't as bad as any number of other actions, or automatically make you an awful person. That doesn't make it acceptable though.When I think of a mysognist I honestly think of a wife beater.
e: \/\/ A good link.
#74
It's not just 12 year olds though. We are talking about all the people who use that kind of language. Just because a bunch of them are learning to talk like that at a younger age doesn't change what it is.
#76
e: LoCo sneak-ninjad a post before I posted what I posted below. That's a lot of "post" usage.
@Starblade:
Actually having looked more closely into the cross assault comments I think those are definitely sexist. Especially the comments by that one Aris dude.
I was talking more about 12 year olds that are exposed to too much internet trash. A little off topic, I know. But, I don't think 12 year olds that say "that's gay" are really sexist. Take fatuglyorslutty as an example. Most of the PM's on that site are badly misspelled and use l33tspeak, which is a sign of immaturity. I doubt a 12 year old that says "if my dick dies, can i bury it in ur ass" has a philosophical ideology that discriminates against women. He's just parroting whatever trash he saw somewhere that he thinks is cool for god knows what stupid reason.
I'd be willing to wager for every Aris, you have 10 of these 12 year old kids with mush for brains. It's all still vile and trash, but I would definitely draw a clear distinction between what a 12 year old says on xbox live and the sexual harassment a grown man targets to a particular women. Calling it all "sexism" seems to blur the distinctions between the two in my (hopefully) humble opinion.
The problem you then run into, roflmao, is that these children are being taught to think and talk like that. If you don't give it a name that you can point to and say "that's bad 'mmkay" then how are you going to get them to stop? Wait till they are adults and then try and change how they think?
#78
It all boils down to parenting.
Also, 4chan and memes need to die. I know they aren't going to. And some memes are hilarious. But the internet would be a much better place without that nonsense. I think that's where a lot of this crap comes from. It's all invented by a handful of sick individuals and then parroted by a whole congregation of kids that have no understanding of the implications of what they're saying.
12 year olds these days think pedobear is hilarious. It's not funny. It's just vile trash.
e: on that note, gnight.
#79
The problem, roflmao, is that you're thinking of misogyny's extreme examples, and not the simple stuff like the pervasive social attitude that masculine > feminine, which sadly extends even to misguided elements of the feminist movement who want to masculinize women because they've internalized that social attitude. The language is a reflection of an existing social prejudice, and passing it off as "just kid stuff" is sending entirely the wrong message to the younger generation about that attitude.
Kids aren't idiots. They know or will figure out the meanings of those slang terms, and the message in those slang usages. Those implicit messages must therefore be addressed by every responsible person wherever we see them in order to make sure that we're not perceived as tacitly endorsing them.
Which is not to say that I haven't used those terms now and then in a humorous fashion, and it can be funny as long as you're sure that group you're with knows your philosophical bent well enough that there's no danger of them taking it as a tacit endorsement of the existing social prejudices, which my friends generally do, I would hope.
Pedobear is hilarious though. Specifically because he's a way of making light of a subject that's been rendered so taboo that it can't even be talked about, which is always a bad thing.
Not around where I live, and I doubt this is true in the UK or USA either. I'm not a native English speaker, so not sure about the meanimg of such words in English, but in Polish, most words implying male attributes to a female are definitely offensive and degrading.
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E: Also, calling a woman a "lady" has negative implications? I thought it's supposed to imply noble attributes to the person in question?
#81
I think it's a gender role thing. Countries with strong feminist movements tend to be open to the idea of women doing "men's work" ie. opening traditionally male dominated areas to women. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Poland a rather conservative country where the Catholic Church is incredibly influential? It is possible that female gender roles are simply more cemented, leading to the attribution of "masculine characteristics" to women being seen as an insult.
That's possible. Poland is quite a bit on the conservative side, yes. But I wonder if Loco's statement I quoted is really true for English?
Well, I'm preparing for a week of vacation in the UK, so I might explore some linguistic phenomena like this one while I'm at it. Hopefully this won't involve cursing random women to check their reaction.
Online gaming has always had a lot of insulting and harassment if you ask me. I remember playing the SOCOM games a LOT back in the days and basically everyone who played that game had mic's and used the VOIP. However, I was part of a clan that had a woman in it and she honestly got soo much shit just for being a woman. People making jokes and harrassing her and even us guys for having a woman in our clan. It really made me wonder why people do that.
As far as certain "online slang" being offensive or not? I honestly see no harm in people saying "oh, that's gay" or something. I even have homosexual friends who use that slang all the time in online games. It simply has a completely different meaning to it, depending on how the word is used.
Make no mistake. War is coming. With all it's glory, and all it's horror...
No it is the dog part that is the insult. Just because someone uses an insult as a form of endearment doesn't mean it can't be used as an insult. The "n-word" is a great example of this. Also you can say "he is such a dog" or "so and so is a dog faced liar." If it was the "female" part and "dog" meant good things then you wouldn't muddy the waters by mixing the two. You would just call someone "female" and that would be the insult.
There are people who think that anything that implies femininity is an insult. Those are rather extreme fringes though.
I do know that women can insult each other by saying another women isn't feminine enough. I have seen it done. I just don't remember the exact wording because I haven't heard it enough. That isn't because it doesn't happen, it is because I don't spend a lot of time around women/girls insulting each other.
Men and women have different insult styles both among and between the sexes. They often overlap but just because you don't "get" the insult doesn't stop it from being one. It is also important that you understand that many insults are highly context sensitive. It is important who is saying what, to whom, when, and where. Many insults don't translate well into word bites nor would they be an insult to someone raised in a slightly different upbringing.
Again, call a guy "feminine" and most will see it as an insult (though personally most people I hand around with would joke it off.) Call a woman "feminine" and few will see it as an insult (none that I have met.)
Stop being such a girl.
Also, you just argued that insults are "highly" context sensitive and then tried to argue that calling a woman "feminine" isn't an insult. You can't have it both ways. It's either context sensitive or it is blanket. How about you make up your mind about what your position is, like a man, before you come across all ditzy like a woman.
#86
Stop being such a prick!.
I think you're falsely identifying swear words that equate female characteristics to weakness as some sort of underlying prejudice in society. Those insults are almost exclusively hurled towards men. You don't hear guys tell girls "stop being such a girl." I certainly don't hear women hurl that particular insult towards fellow women.
No, they're only directed towards men. Those insults are not degrading femenine qualities in an absolute sense. They're degrading femenine qualities when present in the masculine sex.
It's a subtle but important distinction.
I still owe you and Paladin a response for your earlier posts, I think.
#87
Why do you think that is roflmao? Why is it noted as a bad thing to be more "feminine" when you are a man?Those insults are almost exclusively hurled towards men. You don't hear guys tell girls "stop being such a girl."
#88
For the same reason it's a "bad thing" when women display male characteristics. That's where tomboy comes from. And that's why butch can be used in a derogatory way.
Battle of the sexes, I guess?
Yes, some of the insults characterize women as being physically weaker than men. And whether we should use insults that point out that difference is definitely up for debate. But women are physically weaker than men. That's just a biological fact. So I guess you could say that a higher standard of physical aptitude is expected from men, so when a man has the same level of strength as a women, it's insulting towards that man. I don't see that as prejudice though.
Last edited by roflmao; 6th Mar 12 at 1:09 PM.
#89
I'll ask again though I don't expect an answer now you're falling back to biotruths, why do you think those are those bad things? Why do you think it is that men are told to stop acting like women? What is that inherent value in women men should not be?
It's not prejudiced or sexist to think that its insulting when a man is as strong as a woman, any woman, even, say, weightlifting champions of women's divisions to you?So I guess you could say that a higher standard of physical aptitude is expected from men, so when a man has the same level of strength as a women, it's insulting towards that man. I don't see that as prejudice though.
I think going into patriarchy is a bit too much for this thread actually.But no one uses it that way.
e: Holy shit you unironically believe in them.
Last edited by Starblade; 6th Mar 12 at 1:19 PM.
#90
e:
^^ Actually no one will accuse you of being a sissy if you aren't strong as a female weightlifting champion. You're constructing a strawman. There's no prejudice there because people don't use the insult in that context at all.
Obviously individual specifics trump gender specifics, but they don't eliminate gender specifics.
Yeah, I unironically believe that two people that have a completely different structure and are different biologically are going to have biological differences. I guess you're just incapable of making a distinction between "different" and superior. If I make any sort of claim to difference, then I'm automatically making a claim about superiority. *facepalm*
Women are better than men in some areas. Maybe bolding the sentence will help you get the point.
------
It's a "biotruth" that men are physically stronger than women. So when a man displays the same level of physical strength as a women it is degrading towards the man. It's also a "biotruth" that women can tolerate more pain than men. So no, I don't think I'm one-sided.
Take this funny rumination:
Worst part of using a weight machine after a girl at the gym? Not having to change weights.
I found this funny. Does that make me a sexist who believes men > women? I don't think so.
If I were a sexist that believed men > women, then I'd direct the "stop being such a girl" insult towards women as well. After all, if I believe my sex is superior, then I should want women to be less like women and more like men, right? But no one uses it that way. No one uses the girl insult to encourage women to become more like us "superior" men.
Treat both genders equally. Don't pretend they're biologically and physiologically the same though. Women have certain biological advantages and men have others. Yes, men are the weaker sex in some aspects. Yes, women are the weaker sex in other aspects. Why that's such a scandal puzzles me.
Last edited by roflmao; 6th Mar 12 at 1:27 PM.
#91
Is there any reason you moved your topics and hilarious joke in your post to below mine?
Why that's such a scandal puzzles me.Again, why is it degrading to be weaker than a woman, including athletes, weightlifters, and fighters? Should I be ashamed any half decent one of them could beat me down? Why should I be? Because as a man I should be stronger than all women, right? That's what you said. I bet they could take more pain than me too. I bet some men could take more than them.So when a man displays the same level of physical strength as a women it is degrading towards the man.
Also since you're ignoring it, sex isn't as simple as a binary switch.
No roflmao, I understand you perfectly. You're very clear about it.Maybe bolding the sentence will help you get the point.
#92
It isn't degrading to be weaker than a women athlete if you're not an athlete yourself. You shouldn't be ashamed if one of them could beat you down....
I'll repeat what I said: Individual specifics trump gender specifics but don't eliminate them.
But no! I'm a mysognist for saying women are in general superior to men in certain aspects and vice versa. I do think biological differences and thousands of years of evolution of women filling the role of gatherers and men as hunters does produce differences between the sexes. Pardon me for believing in that, I guess it makes me a terrible person.
I treat genders equally but don't deny differences when I see them. You get this concept. You do understand why talent makes humans different but doesn't change the fact that we deserve equal treatment.
But since the issue is so politically incorrect, people are incapable of having any rational discussion on differences between sexes without instantly hitting the bigotry or prejudice buttons. It's sad, because overall I think it's a fascinating topic.
#93
Yes, it is sexist to say I should be ashamed for being weaker than a woman and holding up biotruths as evidence of that.
Thousands of years, that's a big number when it comes to evolution. Also men were gatherers too. Also different cultures had different people having different roles.I do think biological differences and thousands of years of evolution of women filling the role of gatherers and men as hunters does produce differences between the sexes.
#94
Sure thousands of years is small on a evolutionary scale but for crying out loud there's no disputing that a lot of our human characteristics are the direct product of a hunter/gatherer society and mentality. Almost no one disputes that.
I think the sexes being different is fascinating. A wonderful thing. It doesn't mean one is superior to the other, but I do think our world has been enriched by differences between the sexes. How boring would it be to live in a society where everyone was the same. The diversity is great.
Insults stereotype differences. Yes, they're stereotypes. Yes, reality is way more complicated. But insults are always going to use a simplistic model. They won't and will never be nuanced. Take "dickhead." You do understand this insult is stereotyping males as being self-centered, right? Or "jerk." Where do you think that came from? I don't mind. It's an insult after all. It's going to be offensive by very definition.
It'd be easier if people weren't so uptight about these sort of discussions.
#95
Sure thousands of years is small on a evolutionary scale but for crying out loud there's no disputing that a lot of our human characteristics are the direct product of a hunter/gatherer society.I present it as a challenge to the rest of the thread to find the differences in these statements.I do think biological differences and thousands of years of evolution of women filling the role of gatherers and men as hunters does produce differences between the sexes.
#96
You didn't address my point about insults about male genitalia equaling asshole. Is that sexist? Prejudiced? Or what is it, exactly?
Am I a misandrist for saying "stop being such a dickhead"?
Yeah, no.
#97
You could argue it's sexist in the same way bitch, ****, slut, douche, and pussy are, though that's not what I'm particularly concerned about. I'm arguing that all women are weaker than men and it is shameful and insulting to be as weak as a woman is a sexist claim, roflmao.
e: Hey I found another word filter word.
I'm sorry I'm offended by bigotry.It'd be easier if people weren't so uptight about these sort of discussions.
#98
Yeah I've only highlighted like three times that I believe women deserve equal treatment to men and are our equals much in the same way all humans are equal.
If you can understand why someone who is tall is equal to someone who is short, but at the same time different, then you should be able to get what I'm trying to say. Equal treatment does not mean literal equality. Women and men are not literally equal, but they are philosophically equal.
There are areas where women are better than men, and not necessarily in "traditional" roles. There is good reason to believe that women are actually better at math than men are. Women are also better drivers than men. Women also spend less than men do. I don't think a lot of the typical men/women stereotypes hold true.
But you obstinately insist that I treat men as superior to women despite only saying a gazillion times that I don't think that way. I think the only one who is bigoted is you my friend.
#99
That's great, but that doesn't really change what those words are. There is more to sexism than physical violence.
Last edited by Starblade; 6th Mar 12 at 2:58 PM.
#100
Saying that the average man is physically stronger than the average woman is fine. It is a scientifically quantifiable and falsifiable statement which taken in a vacuum carries no implication of value. The problem arises when you move from descriptive statements to normative ones, such as "men should be stronger than women." Those norms don't have to be spoken out explicitly by a person to convey an insult. If you say to a man "you hit like a girl", it is insulting because it taps into the cultural narrative of men not only men being stronger, on average, than women, but that men ought to be stronger than women. Similarly, calling someone "gay" invokes the otherness of homosexuality stipulated by our cultural narrative. It is, in effect, telling someone "you are violating the norm, get back in line." By invoking that sense of otherness (regrettably) affiliated with alternate sexual orientation, you are also cementing it, and therefore guilty of engendering homophobia.
By calling a man a girl for doing X, you're not only guilty of gender enforcement against him, but also against women (well, girls) since you are implying that X is an inherently "girly" thing to do, and that any one who identifies as a girl therefore should do X.
Edit: Roflmao, you can be a gender egalitarian and still not be very nice, for instance by using equal amounts of gender enforcement for both sexes. "My definition of manhood is equally as restrictive as my definition of womanhood" isn't exactly open minded.
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