The IRC Quotes Database Thread

[OhJohnNo]

<Weavern> squid, if he can summon CJ then he can get a QDB thread
-few minutes later-
* ceejayoz (32300d46@hwc-CC6D49C2.mibbit.com) has joined #homeworld

I take this as proof of my unstoppable divine powers and shall now create the IRC QDB thread, to replace the old site which no longer works. Funny IRC quotes go here. Feedback welcome. When submitting, is best to follow the formula of this post.

Now to post all of my massive backlog of quotes I have put away for a rainy day. Most of these naturally have me in them, because I was present in the conversation when they happened. Also Guilliman, because that guy's a quote machine.

* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
<%Tempe> I expect you'll get bored of this before I do
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
<@Weavern> challenge accepted
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
<+OhJohnNo> lol
* Weavern sets mode: +b Tempe!*@*
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* +atmawpn grabs popcorn
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
<@Weavern> still not bored yet
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe
* ChanOP sets mode: +h Tempe
* Tempe is now known as Tempe|xbawx
* Weavern sets mode: -h Tempe|xbawx
<+OhJohnNo> I suppose that means the xbox wins
<@Weavern> well the ps3 lost
<@Weavern> clearly

^This is what we used to get up to on #Boardwars when we were bored. Which was all the time.

<Guilliman> Is there a sure tell tale sign that a woman is interested in you? ;o
<Ramrod> no
<Ramrod> every person shows how they feel differently
<Guilliman> why is it so hard
<Guilliman> NO do NOT QUOTE THAT
<Guilliman> ever

^Nothing funny here, but it's a law written into the universe that any time someone says "don't quote me", you must, in fact, quote them.

<Guilliman> heres a picture of a horse http://www.nieuwsblad.be/Assets/Imag...13.jpg.767.jpg
<OhJohnNo> oh wow
<Alliance> what'd it find in there?
<OhJohnNo> a dragon
<Pocktio> Pots of glue
<Ramrod> all of the above
<OhJohnNo> a baby dragon hoarding pots of glue
<Alliance> a pot of glue hoarding baby dragons
<OhJohnNo> lol
<Alliance> or maybe a pot of dragons hoarding baby glue?
<OhJohnNo> ...sure
<Guilliman> only the horse knows.. :o
<Alliance> a hoard of pots glue dragon babies!
<Ramrod> pot babies hoarding dragon glue

^A mature conversation on #Homeworld.

* Squidgirl (3e9c01ea@hwc-2F8A3699.mibbit.com) has joined #homeworld
<OhHWKno> oh wait
<Squidgirl> hello
<&Moe> wait what
<OhHWKno> I think we're about to hear some good news
* Squidgirl was kicked by Ira (Ira)
<@Ira> haha
<Supernaut> Squid's Girl
<OhHWKno> or not
<@Ira> squid will hate me
…
* Ira sets mode: +b *!*@*.mibbit.com
* Squidgirl was kicked by Ira (Ira)
<OhHWKno> christ
<@Ira> too many squids
<&Moe> ...
<&Moe> ira
<@Riess> and wjat
<OhHWKno> we are fucking dickheads
<@Riess> the hell
<@Ira> no
<Pocktio> No, you are
<@Ira> its supernaut
<&Moe> you just banned the webclient
<laevus> yes
<Supernaut> what :/
<Pocktio> Command??
<Ramrod> I accept no responsiblity here
<&Moe> or at least
<OhHWKno> ahahahahahahaha
<&Moe> anything that ends in mibbit
<&Moe> stop doing that
<OhHWKno> the entire mibbit webclient

^On the day when Squid was going to propose to his girl. We never found out who, exactly, "Squidgirl" was - but it wasn't Squid's actual girl.

<&SquidDNA> It was vector driven
<&SquidDNA> you had a puck you shuttled around and gave commands to
<&SquidDNA> "turn 30 degrees clockwise"
<&SquidDNA> "draw red"
<&SquidDNA> "move 40"
* Beast (berkaash@hwc-4995A472.mc.at.cox.net) Quit (Quit: )
* Ramrod (Ramrod@hwc-1BFEE510.cust.bluewin.ch) has left #homeworld
<OhHWKno> I think I remember doing vector things in primary school
<OhHWKno> ordering a virtual turtle to move about along specific vectors
<OhHWKno> fun times
<Felstorm> mswlogo
<Felstorm> or just logo, I did it too
<&SquidDNA> ohh yeah
<&SquidDNA> That's what it was
<fisher|bf3> OMH
<fisher|bf3> that was called Logowriter for PC
<fisher|bf3> before windows
<fisher|bf3> it was amazing
<fisher|bf3> you would issue commands to a turtle to draw stuff
<fisher|bf3> if you were good you could make games and stuff with it
<@Ira> you ever play math blaster?
<fisher|bf3> fifth grade was a lot of fun thanks to logowriter
<fisher|bf3> YES
<fisher|bf3> HOLY SHIT
<fisher|bf3> HOLY SHIT
<@Ira> \o/
<fisher|bf3> YOU JUST BLEW MY MIND
<fisher|bf3> OH MY GOD

^Fisher is an excitable soul.

<&SquidDNA> What state did you people live
<fisher|bf3> also squid, as i explained to ira last night, i have decided to quite heroin and cocaine (avoiding minecraft and DF) to focus on crack (BF3)
<&SquidDNA> WHAt COUNTRY did you people live in
<fisher|bf3> new jersey
<fisher|bf3> the country of new jersey
<@Ira> we lived in america squid
<fisher|bf3> the KINGDOM of new jersey
<@Ira> freedomville
<fisher|bf3> where we were showered with games
<fisher|bf3> from an early age
<@Ira> SC
<&SquidDNA> heh
<fisher|bf3> to train a legion of gaming warriors
<@Ira> where we could have any game we wanted
<@Ira> except for ones with black people

^On reflection, I'm not sure why I quoted this - it isn't that great. May as well get it out here.

<Lleman> let's celebrate then, Riess
* Lleman hands silly hats
<@Riess> crotch celebration party go
<Lleman> weeeee
<@Riess> woo

^Your guess is as good as mine.

<OhJohnNo> lag is annoying
<OhJohnNo> can make for some hilarious fails though
<Ramrod> you're annoying
<OhJohnNo> no u
<@Riess> can make for some hilarious fails though

^Zing.

<&SquidDNA> AND SO I SAID
<&SquidDNA> RECTUM
<&SquidDNA> IT NEARLY KILLED HIM
<OhJohnNo> orly?
<&SquidDNA> no
<OhJohnNo> right
<Catachan> ya rly
<&SquidDNA> I thought we were shouting non sequiturs
<OhJohnNo> your face is a pie
<Catachan> but I want to eat walrus mommy!
<&SquidDNA> negative, I am a meat popsicle

^Explanation unnecessary.

<AllianceLP> I'd just like to inform you that I've got a pretty young lady in yoga pants changing clothes behind me
<AllianceLP> so I'm turning the screen off to use it as a mirror
<AllianceLP> brb

^Alliance knows his stuff.

EDIT: New one!

<Ramrod> when I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. and it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8% of kids do it or whatever. for some reason, I don't know why... I would just kinda... sit around all day... and draw pictures of dicks

Now post your own. Go on.

[Fish Of Doom]

consider my funny bone tickled.

...you pervert.

[Lleman]

After a sensational translationparty moment, the excitement reached a climax between Gorb and OJN:

<OhJohnNo> so my beating banana did make a mark
<Gorb> it was more the noise than anything
<Lleman> guys
<Kresjah> Oh man

Upon general OJN request (read 'pestering') here is the sensational translationparty-induced event.

Spoiler

<Lleman> but you guys forget the most important thing:
<Lleman> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164715
<Lleman>
<OhJohnNo> lol lleman
<Ramrod> SquidDNA!
<Ramrod> #DEVASTATING
<OhJohnNo> needs op to change topic
<OhJohnNo>
<Lleman> Welcome to #Devastating, greatest furtniture breaker in the world!
<Colonel[AFK]> I HATE YOU TABLES AND CHAIRS
<Lleman> (????)????? <--- supposed to be a 'flip table' emoticon
<Akranadas> RAWR RUGS BE GONE!
<Lleman> lol
<Colonel[AFK]> lol
<Colonel[AFK]> RUG-A-WAY
<Lleman> Akranadas, that just killed me ^^
<Colonel[AFK]> the spray that just wont quit
<Akranadas> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164730
<OhJohnNo> lol akra
<Lleman> i demand topic too
<OhJohnNo> "welcome to #DEVASTATING"
<Lleman> "Welcome to #devastating | We are a lazy RAWR."
<OhJohnNo> perfect
<Colonel[AFK]> niiiiiiiiiiiiiice
<Colonel[AFK]> a fleet of army choppers just did the bad thing over my house
<Lleman> that, gentlement, is time well used
<Colonel[AFK]> ie a fleet is 3 choppers in the uk
<Lleman> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164734
<Lleman> lolwut?
<Akranadas> I was wrong military helicopter squadron. XD
<Colonel[AFK]> lol
<Lleman> ^^
<Kresjah>
<Lleman> "Welcome to #devastating | We are a lazy RAWR. I was wrong military helicopter squadron."
<Lleman> should do it
<OhJohnNo> better and better
* OhJohnNo slaps Gorb around a bit with a beating banana
* OhJohnNo slaps Gorb around a bit with an overwhelmed might
* OhJohnNo slaps Gorb around a bit with an inclusive instance
<OhJohnNo> beating banana
<OhJohnNo> rofl
<OhJohnNo> that is what I am calling it from now on
<Ramrod> the British Armed Forces standard issue beating banana
<Lleman> i almost managed to kill translationparty
<Lleman> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164739
<OhJohnNo> "and banana"
<Colonel[AFK]> Is it a little SWAT assault banana OhJohnNo Gorb.
<OhJohnNo> oh god
<Lleman> there, you just had to ask
<Lleman> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164754
<OhJohnNo> you monster
<OhJohnNo> it makes it more sensible
<Lleman> yeah
<Kresjah> I didn't even think to try that one
<Lleman> basically, 'tits ofr GTFO'
<Ramrod> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164758 WTF
<Lleman> wow
<Lleman> http://www.translationparty.com/#10164759
<OhJohnNo> lmao
<Akranadas> XD
<Lleman> what?
<Kresjah> That, Ramrod... was genious
<Lleman> "I have inexcusably, came and got me, but I and I had my pretty I I" then "Come feel, forgive me"
<Lleman> :/
<Lleman> no way!
* OhJohnNo was kicked by Gorb (Repeated pinging when I am trying to solo ME3 MP is /not appreciated/)
* OhJohnNo has joined #homeworld
<OhJohnNo> so my beating banana did make a mark
<Gorb> it was more the noise than anything
<Lleman> guys
<Kresjah> Oh man

[OhJohnNo]

"Beating Banana" is still the best result Randomslap has ever given me.

[Wargrim]

Oh my, putting Arnie quotes and/or forum classics in there has devastating results. Must. Stop. Now.

[Starblade]

Oh Bowkers!

<Bowkers|uni> a girl is looking at her horoscope next to me
<Heretic> touch her
<Heretic> the stars are telling you to
<Bowkers|uni> the stars are telling me to laugh at her
<oxy> it's fate
<Bowkers|uni> but I won't
<SquidDNA> tell her that the stars told you that you should be together
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> tell her that your stars are totally compatible with her st ars
<Bowkers|uni> bit of a problem here guys
<Bowkers|uni> she's pretty hot
<SquidDNA> see above
<oxy> wait how is that a problem?
<Jal-18> ask her if she needs a place to live
<Jal-18> two birds, one stone
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> ask her if she wants to align her stars with you
<oxy> if she were ugly that would be a problem for the proposed course of action
<SquidDNA> Jal wins
<SquidDNA> Ask her if she needs a place to live
<Someguy|work> heh
<SquidDNA> Together with the holocaust books
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> ask her what her thoughts on jews are in that case
<Bowkers|uni> and I keep laughing at IRC, which may look like I'm laughing at the Holocaust :/
<SquidDNA> it will be the most intereting thing that happens to her all week
<oxy> ask her if she believes in determinism
<Bowkers|uni> She's a cancer
<oxy> if yes, tell her you two are meant to be together
<Jal-18> don't say that
<SquidDNA> A CANCER ON SOCIETY
<Jal-18> do not say that to her
<oxy> THE INTERNET MADE ME DO IT
<Bowkers|uni> THE INTERNET MADE ME TOUCH YOU
<oxy> yeah, sounds like a convenient excuse to touch hot girls
<SquidDNA> "The internet wants me to kill you, but I think I should take care of you instead. Do you believe in determinism?"
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> bowkers make a move before its too late
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> or we will ridicule you forever
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> "hey i'm bowkers let's make out"
<Pijama> HAVE MAD SEXORS
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> on top of your holocaust books
<SquidDNA> "are you into genocide?"
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> if you say it all with a german accent i will pay you fifty dollars
<Bowkers|uni> she looked at me in disgust and logged off...I didn't even say anything! But her name is Daniella
<Starblade|TotallyWorking> hahahahaha
<Bowkers|uni> (I was staring at her screen)
<Bowkers|uni> it was the most awkward experience of my life just then
<SquidDNA> But
<Bowkers|uni> her disdain in her eyes
<Bowkers|uni> :(
<SquidDNA> It could have been a hundred times more awkward
<SquidDNA> You really let that go by
<SquidDNA> :(
<oxy> b, then don't leave her with that impression
<SquidDNA> Run after her
<SquidDNA> "Wait!"
<Bowkers|uni> What chase her?
<SquidDNA> "I believe in determinism!"

[Bowkers]

Good times.

[Lleman]

Hey, since we're going about Bowkers... (<3 you & your flat in Brummy, mate, really)

<Ramrod> Bowkers says he wants to play Grey Knights, but he said he wants to play Horus Heresy campaign
<Ramrod> FLUFF RAPE
* Lleman_chef fluffslap Bowkers
<Bowkers>
<Bowkers> well if we don't play horus heresy campaign
<Lleman_chef> http://dl.dropbox.com/u/15083045/goof/bowkers_yuno.jpg
<Ramrod> hahahahahahaha
<Bowkers> also
<Bowkers> my legion
<Bowkers> doesn't really get involved in the horus heresy
<Lleman_chef> http://dl.dropbox.com/u/15083045/goo...veralegion.jpg
<Ramrod> hahahahahaha Lleman

Now, there's some for everyone in there too:

<Hangfire> Is there anything better than getting into a robe that's been made super toasty warm on a heated towel rail after a shower/bath?
<Lleman> yes
<Hangfire> name it
<Lleman> To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
<Lleman> gods were you slow
<Hangfire> I hate you so much right now

[Quak0r]

We never found out who, exactly, "Squidgirl" was - but it wasn't Squid's actual girl.

Spoiler

[OhJohnNo]

[Starblade]

Don't just post image macros. Especially terrible rage comic ones.

[OhJohnNo]

Fair enough, won't in future.

[Codex]

@ Post 6

Oh my god I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Amazing convo history, thanks! :P

Also, c'mon John we're not 4chan here :P

[Bowkers]

Yeah post #6 had a few people chuckling that day. I miss those days..growing up sucks

[PetarB]

I'm guessing you 'had to be there' for a few of these....

[Shoota Fodder]

RelicNews in-jokes. The few who have lives and don't spend hour after hour on IRC tend to miss these.

On another note: I kinda want to reinstall mIRC again. I've not been on in about a year since I got my new computer and never bothered re-downloading it.

[OhJohnNo]

Join us! We could use some target practice new folks.

[Guilliman]

Oh Why me!?

[OhJohnNo]

Because you literally asked for it!

...

Well alright you did the opposite, but there's not really that much difference!

[Bowkers]

ahahaha Guilli's avatar cracks me up. Wasn't even aware he had a custom avvie

[Gorb]

Where have you been, Bowks. He's had it a while

[Vijil]

Man. I haven't been on IRC in like ... years. Nostalgia!

Mostly I remember #homeworld being so freaking infuriating that half the time I'd just be like MEH and close the window

[Rotlung]

Ahahaha I really love that Conan the Barbarian quote!

I'd actually like to see more of this!

[OhJohnNo]

The quote originally comes from none other than Genghis Khan.

[Lleman]

@Guilliman & Bowkers:
How avatars are born in RN: a disclosure of the Yahoo! Board of Directors' secret rulings.

<Guilliman> there! Appointment with my doctor as well today, this damn cough seems to be getting worse
<Guilliman> had a cold 2 weeks ago, cough never went away
<Lleman> you make me think of Melman from the Madagascar movies...
<Lleman> really
* Lleman mental picture
<Guilliman> which one was that
<Lleman> the giraffe
<Guilliman> ill google
<Lleman> all you gotta do now is find a hole
<Colonel[AFK]> heh
<Colonel[AFK]> we shall call him melman from now on
<Guilliman> I'm not that bad
<Guilliman> lol
<Guilliman> haven't been ill in ages
<Bowkers> custom avatar time
<Guilliman> Nooooooooooooooooo
<Bowkers> (pretty sure i can't do that )
<Lleman> Guilliman, you really don't want me to bring out the #hw log
<Guilliman> thank god
<Lleman> but Squid should ;p

[Rotlung]

OJN: Yep I am aware, but I think it's better remembered for its usage in the film

[roflmao]

What happened to the old website?

[Bowkers]

(I'd like to add that it was me...)

[OhJohnNo]

The old website still exists, but the submission system is broken. Hence this thread, for submitting any new quotes that really deserve to be remembered.

[Ira Aduro]

sadly IRC is not allowed at my new work place. Well at least that means I'll be more productive...

[Croaxleigh]

One of these days I'll actually get on IRC again. If for no other reason than to stalk Bowkers, Lleman and Kresjah.

[Lleman]

Better be prepared, we'll eat you raw, little man. And post the results here too...

[Croaxleigh]

Psht. I'm more afraid of my toddler. :P

(Of course, she's teething, so she's a force to be reckoned with.)

[Croaxleigh]

Psht. I'm more afraid of my toddler.

(Of course, she's teething, so she's a force to be reckoned with.)

[Hand of Asur]

Could some one plz tell me where the stop laughing because it starting to hurt button is.