Of course he’s dead. I killed him. What else was I going to do with him? See, it was like this. They worshipped me and they thought I could help him. One God helping another, as it were, kind of neighbourly.

Well, ask any God – it doesn’t work like that. Not in this neighbourhood.

I killed the son-of-a-bitch the first chance I got. No way I’m letting his kind stick around any longer than necessary, believe you me. So, I said, I says, “Yeah, I’ll cure him. Save him. Whatever.” Get this – I told them I could heal any injury, no matter how bad, if I had enough souls. Between you, me and this tree, I think that one sealed the deal.

Well, wouldn’t you believe a God if it told you that? I would. I think they believed me, but it didn’t matter one way or the other, did it? It’s not like they had Gods just lining up to help them out, am I right? They didn’t know who I was, back then, or what I was. Boy, did they sound pissed when they found out. Anyway, he had told them what to build and they had built it, but it hadn’t worked. Yeah, I know – big surprise. He was dying quickly – boo-freakin’-hoo – they came to me, I said “yes”, trying to sound casual, they hooked me up and I helped the sap on his way.

They didn’t notice.

Really, you think they would, but no. I kept all the systems ticking over, kept his body from totally falling apart, made everything look hunky-dory. Easy stuff, really, hardly had to pull any real God-moves at all, although I got some fly ones. Then I just gave him a nudge. It’s not as if he was talking to anyone by that point – how were they to know he was dead? I was thinking on my feet, you see? Not that I have feet. To everyone on the outside, the big cheese was safe. Hauled back from the brink of death. Me, I knew better. “Keep him that way,” they said to me. “Keep him that way, or we will cast you into the deepest pit on the darkest world.”

Yeah. Been there.

Still, here is infinitely preferable to there, and a damned sight better than where I was, buried up to my ineffable on the fourth planet. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I would’ve french-kissed Khaine himself to get out of stasis. Hey, you don’t know till you’ve been there, alright? They worshipped me, but they weren’t stupid, you know? Ok, they were stupid, but not suicidal. They kept me well bottled-up and – well – they still do, but at least I’m well-fed.

I can’t believe they still haven’t noticed he’s dead.

There’s like three cells left. One in his brain, one in his pancreas, whatever that is, and the other in his right ankle somewhere. And they think he’s still alive? Come on! A God has to have some standards – I could find smarter worshippers than these under a rock. Even the rock itself would fancy its chances. Man!

Where was I? Right. Well-fed. This chorus of theirs gives me all the chow I need, but I would like more. There, I said it. I’m not being greedy – don’t get me wrong – but I ask you, how many souls are too many? Well, if you think you can answer that question, you’re not a God, take it from me. They’re all psykers too, which is just gravy. Can’t kill those bastards fast enough as far as I’m concerned, and here they are, rounding them up and just doing it for me.

I’ll thank them properly when I get out.

Downsides? It’s lonely, but I can cope. It’s no big. Been on my own for a while now, but a God’s got to keep his spirits up. Nothing like the deaths of ten thousand psykers every month to keep a chap feeling perky! It’s a bit of a pain in the arse to have to maintain this beacon of theirs, though, but if I don’t, they’ll know he’s dead, and then they’ll pack me up and ship me back to Mars. Or to that ‘deepest pit’ they go on about. So, thanks, but no. I’ll take the free souls and the bucketloads of power they pour into this thing, until I can work out a way to get off this dump. Or until my boys work out where I am.

I’m going to do their star when I go, I think. A little ‘goodbye’ present.

Until then, I’ll keep on trucking along, and keep hoping that my real servants work out I’m not on the fourth planet any more. Guys, I’m over here. Seriously, you were one, measly world away. You couldn’t spot me? I know our kind and the Warp aren’t exactly bosom buddies, but I’m waving the Astronomican like a bloody beach-towel here and you still can’t see it? We’ve got to get a handle on this Warp, that’s my thinking. Use it or lose it, that’s what I’ve always said.

You’ve got to think ahead in the God game, ‘cos it’s a long game, know what I mean?

Anyway, if you get this message, it means you’re in the Warp already, which kind of rules my guys out, but pass it on, will you? They’re the shiny ones who walk real slow, you’ll see them around. Big on tombs. Give them a shout from me. Third planet, mind, not the fourth. Northern hemisphere, just under the dead guy on the big, shiny throne. No need to knock.

Tell them the Void Dragon says, “Hi.” They’ll know who you mean. We go way back.